The Complete Celebrity Cola Archive

The following list of Celebrity Cola articles is updated frequently. Please check back often, aye? Thanks matey.

Cinema/Flicks
* Ms. Hollywood Science, I'd Like You to Meet Mr. Government Bureaucracy...
* The Wicked Dreams of Paula Schultz Frank Miller
* A Movie Review Bonanza (June 2005)
* The King of Booze: Abel Ferrara
* "The Aviator" Review, DiCaprio Q&A, "Kill Bill," and Aussie Lamb All Taste A-OK
* Movie Reviews and News (December 2004)
* Transcendence of Space in Von Trier's “Breaking the Waves”
* Name Droppings (a movie and screening review of “After the Sunset”)

Comix
* Geeking Out on Graphic Art, Sidling Up to Sci-Fi
* The Wicked Dreams of Paula Schultz Frank Miller
* What Makes Brachish Run?
* Comix: Big Henry & Baghead Bob Joyfully Asphyxiate the Bourgeois

Books

* One State Two State, Red State Blue State
* Reprogramming Science
* HUBBARD & DICK—“Dianetics” vs. “Valis”
* Martin Amis' “Time’s Arrow”
* “Gargantua and Pantagruel”

Ramblings
* Death Threats and Flowers (or, How I Dialed Murder for Love)
* The Mayor of Diversity
* Hi-Tech/Lo-Tech: Surviving the End of Times (When the shit hits the fan, Armageddon it on!)
* Nicotine Addicts Unite -- Safer Euro Cigs Now Banned in the U.S.
* You Need an Enemy to Stay Happy and Strong (A Self-Help Book)
* Where can I find the greatest cheese in the entire world (for, you know, really cheap)?
* F*ck The South (but love their chicken wings and biscuits)
* A Navel-Gazing Origin Story (as opposed to a Naval-Gazing Orange Storey)

Filmmaking
* Creating Indie Cinema: A Guide to Making Low-Budget Films
* Indie Filmmaking Resources & Underground Cinema's Caveh Zahedi
* Acting in Student Films (Interviews with Actors and Filmmakers)

Mixed Media
* What's PR Got to Do With It?
* Writing the Hand That Feeds You
* When Sitcoms Make You Weep
* To Possess or Not to Possess, That is the Grammatical (and Poltergeistical) Question
* Why Print Pubs Shouldn't Charge for Old News (listen up!)
* When Water Attacks! Press goes ga-ga for tsunamis...

Music*
* Hotel Lights: Whatever happened to the rest of Ben Folds Five and whatever and amen
* Cheap Music for the Masses
* What Makes Brachish Run?
* RollingStone - Politically Cool Again?
* The Final Nail in the Coffin of Punk Rock

Science & Religion
* Reprogramming Science
* Jedi Theocracy
* The Apocalyptic Battle Between Science, Religion, Republicans, the Environment, and Those Dreaded Neo-Hippies
* God Hates Shrimp, Loves Fake Signs (And Teutonic Dole Bludgers)

Sex
* Crafting a Cooler Cooter
* Backdoor Friends: Anal Sex for the Aristocracy
* Dear Gay Dude(s)

Politics
* One State Two State, Red State Blue State
* Et tu, Coulter? (Repub Nutters Have Bush's Back)
* Corporate Governance
* Founding Fathers' Formulations Faked to Further Church in State
* In Defense of Michael Moore (fact versus fiction & good ol' Oscar)
* A Map of Voter Subtlety (city folk/country folk faultlines made clear)
* Bush and Kerry Related to Vlad the Impaler and Royal Family (Did the Vampire Bite the Prez & Prince?)

Old Politics
* MSNBC & Newsweek Declare Nader Possibly Sane; Demand for Recount Continues; Democrats Whimper and Regroup
* United States of JesusLand; Time's Black Tuesday; Images from the FWD Void; E-Voter Fraud Abundant
* Kerry Can't Carry; Bush Can't Be Beat; Edwards Is Awkward; Cheney Steals the Show Election
* Election Coverage: Why Not "National Martin Luther King Election Day?" ('cause we need a holiday...)
* Texas Conservative Drinks the Repub KoolAid; Bush Looks for Votes in Space
* Screwing (and Swinging) the Vote
* Repubs Tear Up the Vote
* Oh, well, speaking of lesbians...
* There's a Gay in My Closet!
* Why Catholics Should Vote for Baby Killers (just so long as they confess later, natch)
* The Democrats Find God - Kinda

Stocks
* Penny Stocks Part 2: Bollinger is Not a Rock Band
* Penny Stocks Part 1: Psychological Trappings
* What Makes Brachish Run?

***

Cola Apocrypha (Blogging & Word Processing):

  • Gawd Dash It All: MS Word Shortcuts Made Easy

  • The Free Blogging Freeway

  • Blogging About Blogs That Sometimes Blog About Blogs

  • The New Blog Carnival Showcase Extravaganza (and new entry rules)

  • Preserving Formatting When Posting Documents Online (Word to basic HTML)

  • Making Mailing Labels and Form Letters From Lists

  • Weblog Directories, Blog Tools, RSS aggregators, Search Engine Notes, etc.

  • Malkovich Cola



  • Basic Table of Contents (Newest to Oldest Posts):

  • One State Two State, Red State Blue State

  • Et tu, Coulter? (Repub Nutters Have Bush's Back)

  • Hotel Lights: Whatever happened to the rest of Ben Folds Five and whatever and amen

  • Geeking Out on Graphic Art, Sidling Up to Sci-Fi

  • Reprogramming Science

  • Corporate Governance

  • Ms. Hollywood Science, I'd Like You to Meet Mr. Government Bureaucracy...

  • What's PR Got to Do With It?

  • Penny Stocks Part 2: Bollinger is Not a Rock Band

  • Penny Stocks Part 1: Psychological Trappings

  • The Wicked Dreams of Paula Schultz Frank Miller

  • Founding Fathers' Formulations Faked to Further Church in State

  • What Makes Brachish Run?

  • Writing the Hand That Feeds You

  • A Movie Review Bonanza (June 2005)

  • Death Threats and Flowers (or, How I Dialed Murder for Love)

  • The Mayor of Diversity

  • The King of Booze: Abel Ferrara

  • Jedi Theocracy

  • Cheap Music for the Masses

  • Hi-Tech/Lo-Tech: Surviving the End of Times (When the shit hits the fan, Armageddon it on!)

  • When Sitcoms Make You Weep

  • The Apocalyptic Battle Between Science, Religion, Republicans, the Environment, and Those Dreaded Neo-Hippies

  • "The Aviator" Review, DiCaprio Q&A, "Kill Bill," and Aussie Lamb All Taste A-OK

  • God Hates Shrimp, Loves Fake Signs (And Teutonic Dole Bludgers)

  • Nicotine Addicts Unite -- Safer Euro Cigs Now Banned in the U.S.

  • To Possess or Not to Possess, That is the Grammatical (and Poltergeistical) Question

  • Why Print Pubs Shouldn't Charge for Old News (listen up!)

  • In Defense of Michael Moore (fact versus fiction & good ol' Oscar)

  • When Water Attacks! Press goes ga-ga for tsunamis...

  • Movie Reviews and News (December 2004)

  • You Need an Enemy to Stay Happy and Strong (A Self-Help Book)

  • Transcendence of Space in Von Trier's “Breaking the Waves”

  • Where can I find the greatest cheese in the entire world (for, you know, really cheap)?

  • A Map of Voter Subtlety (city folk/country folk faultlines made clear)

  • MSNBC & Newsweek Declare Nader Possibly Sane; Demand for Recount Continues; Democrats Whimper and Regroup

  • Name Droppings (a movie and screening review of “After the Sunset”)

  • F*ck The South (but love their chicken wings and biscuits)

  • United States of JesusLand; Time's Black Tuesday; Images from the FWD Void; E-Voter Fraud Abundant

  • Kerry Can't Carry; Bush Can't Be Beat; Edwards Is Awkward; Cheney Steals the Show Election

  • Election Coverage: Why Not "National Martin Luther King Election Day?" ('cause we need a holiday...)

  • Bush and Kerry Related to Vlad the Impaler and Royal Family (Did the Vampire Bite the Prez & Prince?)

  • Comix: Big Henry & Baghead Bob Joyfully Asphyxiate the Bourgeois

  • A Navel-Gazing Origin Story (as opposed to a Naval-Gazing Orange Storey)

  • The Final Nail in the Coffin of Punk Rock

  • Crafting a Cooler Cooter

  • Creating Indie Cinema: A Guide to Making Low-Budget Films

  • Indie Filmmaking Resources & Underground Cinema's Caveh Zahedi

  • Texas Conservative Drinks the Repub KoolAid; Bush Looks for Votes in Space

  • Backdoor Friends: Anal Sex for the Aristocracy

  • Screwing (and Swinging) the Vote

  • HUBBARD & DICK—“Dianetics” vs. “Valis”

  • Martin Amis' “Time’s Arrow”

  • “Gargantua and Pantagruel”

  • Dear Gay Dude(s),

  • Repubs Tear Up the Vote

  • RollingStone - Politically Cool Again?

  • Oh, well, speaking of lesbians...

  • There's a Gay in My Closet!

  • Why Catholics Should Vote for Baby Killers (just so long as they confess later, natch)

  • The Democrats Find God - Kinda

  • Acting in Student Films (Interviews with Actors and Filmmakers)

  • ***

    A list of all Celebrity Cola articles posted on BlogCritics.org

    (And Various Blog Resources, Directories, and Tips)

    So, there came a time when I needed to find some readers for this horrible beast of a blog of mine... Blogsearchengine.com perhaps? Or Blogwise.com? Popdex.com? Sure...

    And BlogCritics (see below) hasn't brought me a ton of traffic, but it has gotten me quality readers. Similarly, I'm panning on posting excerpts from my movie-related posts to a journal at RottenTomatoes' The Vine (each excerpt links back to its full Celebrity Cola post, thus increasing exposure for the entries).

    Also, I'm finally listed on Google (when I first posted this, I couldn't even search my own site with the "blogger search" listed at the top of this page). Previously, most other search engines (such as Yahoo and MSN Search) would only use my main page (and sometimes my main archive pages) for search results, so relevant individual pages were not returned when people searched for info that should have led back to my site.

    As of January 2005, things improved somewhat.... at least on Google and Yahoo (MSN continually ignores me) .... Although, strangely, in early February 2005, Google stopped returning relevant search results for my website for a week or more, with only my main page appearing instead of my individual articles and archives -- my Google traffic became lower than it was months before, even though I had a lot more content in my archives. This has happened at other times as well, but Feb 2005 was the worst, with a full week of zero relevant Google hits.

    Oddly, I began getting a lot of new Yahoo traffic at the exact same time as my Google hits dropped off. I'm not the only one suffering, apparently, as Google is now ignoring many others as well ..... Although I haven't figured out the problem, the ideas on Scribbling.net's "Help the Googlebot understand your web site" post sound promising ...

    I'm also using the following:

    Blog Directory & Search engine

    Submit your site to 300 search engines free! ... and ... Blogarama ... Search4Blogs ... ... YourWeblogHere's Weblog Directory (a directory of blogs from all around the world) ... and ... Eatonweb Portal ... Blogdigger ... NewsIsFree ... PubSub ... LinkWhore ... RaginHits ... Blogclicker Signup ... Blogclicker Surfing Link ... and Conservative Cat's multiple Carnival Submit Form (including The BestOfMeSymphony) ... various weekly carnivals ...



    Subscribe with Bloglines


    BlogRolling.com's "Blogroll Me!"

    Truth Laid Bear's Ecosystem ... and ...

    Blog Catalog
    Blog Explosion
    BlogHop, ratings
    Blog: Hot or Not?
    BlogRank
    BlogShares, simulated blog futures market
    BlogThings
    BoingBoing
    GetBlogs Directory
    Globe of Blogs
    HumorLinks
    LS Blogs
    NYC Bloggers Map (This site doesn't seem to update very often -- I waited months to get listed. But it's a very nifty design and well worth the wait.)
    Ping-O-Matic
    PubSub
    QuackTrack, blog index
    Robin Good's Best Blog & RSS Directories
    Technorati*
    The Weblog Review


    SHAS3.com - Listed


    And Celebrity Cola is listed on High Class Blogs under the heading "Pop Culture & fun cool stuff"

    ***

    Regrettably, it took me almost a year to get a single listing in the DMOZ Open Directory Project, which is probably the most important place to get any website listed, since an entry on DMOZ/ODP will eventually lead to links being added to dozens (maybe even hundreds) of other important directories and search engines.

    In early may of 2005, I finally earned a spot in the Open Directory's Arts/Entertainment/Weblogs category along with 27 other delightful blogs. Let's hope it lasts. (The entry reads, "Celebrity Cola - NYC-based writer scribes under a pseudonym about politics, film, and the media.")

    I also got a couple of okay reviews at The Weblog Review, the opinions of which might inform future updates of Celebrity Cola. And some very cool little blogs have linked me over the past year, which hasn't lead to a lot of traffic but at least let's me know I have some smart readers lurking among all the anonymous visitors.

    ***

    BlogCritics.org is a great way to gain some exposure for your blog and your writing.

    Below is a summary of all Celebrity Cola articles mirrored on BlogCritics. The links contain variations on stories that also appear on CelebrityCola.blogspot.com; however, different comments and discussions may be attached. This list will be updated semi-regularly:

    1. A Roundup of Film Reviews for 2004

      Despite dozens of respectful, worshipful reviews, I've been hearing very mixed reactions on the street for the new Eastwood film... (Filed under: Video, Music: Classic Rock and Oldies, Review, Video: Action, Video: Comedy, Video: Crime, Video: Drama, Video: Foreign Language, Video: Horror, Video: News, Video: Suspense)

    2. Books by Crichton and Whitman Are Both Shards of the Science/ Religion/ Politics Battle

      A tiny segment of the global population has been waging an effective war against environmental awareness for years, warping hundreds... (Filed under: Books, Books: Nonfiction, Books: Politics and Affairs, Books: Thriller, Culture/Tech: Media, Culture/Tech: Science and Health, Politics: Law)

    3. Name Droppings (a movie and screening review of After the Sunset)

      I didn't make it into any of these wire/Getty images.... shunned by the press once again, I am. And, normally... (Filed under: Video, Video: Action, Video: Adventure, Video: Comedy, Video: Crime, Video: Romantic Comedies)

    4. The Aviator Review; Plus DiCaprio & Alda in Person; and Notes on Kill Bill

      A few nights ago I attended a screening of The Aviator, followed by a Q&A session with... (Filed under: Video, Culture/Tech: Humor and Satire, Video: Action, Video: Adventure, Video: Comedy, Video: Drama, Video: Film and TV Business, Video: Thriller)

    5. U.S. Moves to Block Foreign Smokes

      First you were kicked off airplanes, trains, and buses, then banned from restaurants, then... (Filed under: Culture, Politics: Law, Culture/Tech: Science and Health, Culture/Tech: Business and Economics)

    6. Rolling Stone Magazine - Politically Cool Again?

      The mighty world of music journalism has fallen to its broken knees in recent years, at least in the realm... (Filed under: Culture, Books: Entertainment, Books: Politics and Affairs, Culture/Tech: Media, Music: Indie Rock)

    7. 'Dianetics' vs. 'Valis,' Sci-Fi Spiritual Guides

      Philip K. Dick and L. Ron Hubbard were both brilliant philosophical thinkers, but appreciation of their work has been marginalized... (Filed under: Books, Books: Entertainment, Books: Humor, Books: Nonfiction, Books: Philosophy, Books: SF)
    ***
    Note: A monthly edition of Celebrity Cola can be found by using the following type of URL: Year_Month_01_archive.html (after http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/). Example:

    /2004_09_01_celebritycola_archive.html (September 2004 was the first monthly issue of the blog-version of Celebrity Cola.)

    However, I'm going to remove the hotlinks to the monthly archive editions because some search engines, including Google, are beginning to not catalogue my individual post pages because they see the aggregated monthly archive pages as being the "real" pages, and only cache them. (You can get a Google "penalty" for having too much duplicate content on your site or between different sites -- the penalty being that Google stops caching a bunch of your pages).

    Bler....

    Celebrity Cola: The Search for Non-Gassy Truth: Political burritos, crass culture, riotous religion, and random thoughts collide -- A slipshod agnostic guide to the universe. A weblog with issues. And uncarbonated news, straight from the can.