Oh, well, speaking of lesbians...

That last debate was like a love fest -- I thought Kerry and Bush were going to start tongue kissing the moderator in the ears. He was spoon-feeding to both of them, and at the end they all had a nice laugh about their wives and I swear it looked like Bush was going to hug/punch Kerry at the end of the debate, right after the final handshake (it was an odd little moment).

Kerry won the oral contest, but not hands down -- I mean, he only won it, in my opinion, because Bush is a giggling, grinning numbskull, and not because Kerry is a great debater, despite the pundits' post-debate spin. True, Kerry has been more concise, dynamic, and leader-like in the debating arena than in his half-wit stumping on talk shows or meandering, boilerplate campaign speeches. But I know 10-year-olds that could've gotten more jabs in against Bush's faulty policy reasoning and factual distortions, so why do analysts keep repeating a mantra about Kerry being a super-skilled debater that could make mince out of the best in the biz?

To paraphrase 200 different mainstream media types: "Kerry is one of the greatest debaters in the world, but Bush could still win it with his down-home, good-ole-boy style." Yeah, of the two bible-quoting, smirking millionaires running for president, Bush gets down-home/regular-guy status because he talks with a slight southern twang and has the vocabulary of a guy who never had to attend class because his parents could buy his way out of trouble (hot damn, he's one of us, Duke!) while Kerry must be the Great Debater because he's boring as shit drying on pavement, and boring means "smart."

Now, I've heard a couple of these so-called swing voters say dumb things like "Well, Kerry does seem smarter, but Bush is going to protect our right to marriage!" Dumb mutherf***ers.... Yeah, that's right, even though Kerry is also anti-gay-marriage (the wuss) and is instead for some vague civil-union equal-rights thing, what he's actually going to do is ban all hetero marriage if you elect him, so you better vote for Bush... good grief. HOW DUMB ARE THESE PEOPLE?!

And I did like how Kerry stomped on Bush involving the "Global Test" thing and his senate record -- really put him in his place and just straight-out told it like it is. It was interesting how Bush couldn't follow up after that, and instead could only repeat the same trite phrases again and again. But maybe it's the repetition of these hackneyed catchphrases that actually gets into the thick skulls of the swing voters and the Repubs.

Two things I didn't understand:

1) Why Kerry let Bush dominate the discussion on education. Kerry barely even touched on it, but it's always been a Democratic platform, so I was surprised that he mostly handed it to Bush.

2) How any working-class American can still support Bush after he said that the way he'd handle unemployment and outsourcing was by giving people more education and job training (has the government ever offered you job training? 'Cause they've never offered me job training. And if the jobs are outsourced, what jobs will be left to train for?).

Didn't he actually say something like, "My 'No CHILD Left Behind Act' is kinda like a 'No JOB Left Behind Act' if you actually think about it. If you lose your job at the manufacturing plant, that's okay -- 'cause I'll write you a $200 Pell Grant check -- money in your pocket! -- and send you to Community College, where that Pell Grant will pay for at least two of your text books while your family starves and you can't afford to buy gas, you dumb redneck! Money in your Pocket! Education! Whooo-ha!" Was it just my magic ears -- OR DID BUSH BASICALLY SAY JUST THAT?!??

THE DEBATE TRANSCRIPT:

BOB SCHIEFFER: "Mr. President, what do you say to someone in this country who has lost his job to someone overseas who's being paid a fraction of what that job paid here in the United States?"

PREZO GB II: "... here's some trade adjustment assistance money for you to go a community college in your neighborhood, a community college which is providing the skills necessary to fill the jobs of the 21st century. "

Now, wait a second, I thought the Republicans were opposed to federally funded education -- kinda like socialized health care, isn't it? Kinda... Canadian? Hmmmmm...

And when computer jobs are being outsourced to India and all manufacturing jobs are disappearing and Bush is cutting welfare .... how useful, really, will a $300 Federal Pell Grant be to a guy who's just been laid off? That'll buy a few textbooks, but it won't get him a new job or put food on the table for the kids... Don't get me wrong, I'm all for free college, but Bush is NOT paying for everyone's college. He just isn't. Who's falling for this, anyway?

Oh, I remember, it's the people listening to this guy:

RUSH LIMBAUGH.

For a laugh, check out his "Truth Detector", where Rush gets to play the underdog and the triumphant king at the same time: "Smart People Know Kerry Has Never Led This Race," he says, and even blames the Dems for trying to steal the Florida election through the mighty power of Bill Clinton or some such Alice in Wonderland logic.