tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87574432024-03-07T01:34:24.223-05:00Celebrity ColaA slipshod guide to the universe. A weblog with issues. And uncarbonated news & reviews, straight from the can.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-29257314124518081282010-12-12T19:07:00.001-05:002010-12-12T19:07:53.308-05:00Mini Book Review: 'Autobiography of Red'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkLaMxcH0fasQDWGL-NfGIL06aUeXW9e5xkT4oQIX7WLMRPFuWARr5hJpa1cqz6usjYngp420b6pU-_kG_dTrxqbVNmiYo4_YKrcO2IaqUcx0ZOvRrMmCxh1yqx5Nb8zeB8Sw/s1600/The-Autobiography-of-Red-The-Dragon-Book-Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkLaMxcH0fasQDWGL-NfGIL06aUeXW9e5xkT4oQIX7WLMRPFuWARr5hJpa1cqz6usjYngp420b6pU-_kG_dTrxqbVNmiYo4_YKrcO2IaqUcx0ZOvRrMmCxh1yqx5Nb8zeB8Sw/s320/The-Autobiography-of-Red-The-Dragon-Book-Cover.jpg" width="233" /></a></div>Yes, it's the tale of a little gay dragon-monster discovering his purpose in life, falling in and out of love, traveling to South America, growing as an artist (photographer), and . . . Well, it's hard to explain. And the fact that it's told in the form of an epic poem may make many readers worry that the book is going to be a homework-like chore to read. But, really, it's not homework at all -- after a few pages you'll get into the rhythm of the writing and discover a funny, fast, moving, disturbing, exciting, and totally unexpected story of the highest caliber. <br />
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So don't feel daunted when you hear that the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autobiography_of_Red">"Autobiography of Red</a>" is an experimental and intellectual book that is, as Wikipedia puts it, "a verse novel by Anne Carson, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/books/98/05/03/reviews/980503.03padel2t.html">based loosely on the myth of Geryon and the Tenth Labor of Herakles</a>, especially on surviving fragments of the lyric poet Stesichorus' poem Geryonis." True, it's that as well, but it's also a contemporary, genre-bending, fantasy-laced, oddly relatable, and very enjoyable weekend-read that you'll remember for a long time to come.<br />
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<iframe align="left" frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=celebritycola-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=037570129X&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="align: left; height: 245px; padding-right: 10px; padding-top: 5px; width: 131px;"></iframe><br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&tag=celebritycola-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&search-alias=aps&field-keywords=%20Anne%20Carson" target="_blank">Search Amazon.com for Anne Carson</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" />Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-16827265728326624492010-12-12T18:41:00.000-05:002010-12-12T18:41:00.793-05:00Mini Book Review: 'Our Band Could Be Your Life: Scenes from the American Indie Underground 1981-1991'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaGvszKqwqm0brS8Vcpdgzv06Vizr9DwDQN-JjU9fsCOsrmQdUg9qPNc61ONxgW61yfb24X5g7itEZ_3FpE1ycixAi2Co2onSOUISwRhis5XQii4WSG_fqdm4JVRb7QzRcrHU/s1600/Our-Band-Could-Be-Your-Life-Book-Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaGvszKqwqm0brS8Vcpdgzv06Vizr9DwDQN-JjU9fsCOsrmQdUg9qPNc61ONxgW61yfb24X5g7itEZ_3FpE1ycixAi2Co2onSOUISwRhis5XQii4WSG_fqdm4JVRb7QzRcrHU/s320/Our-Band-Could-Be-Your-Life-Book-Cover.jpg" width="209" /></a></div>"Our Band Could Be Your Life: Scenes from the American Indie Underground 1981-1991" is one of the top rock books I've read -- funny, inspiring, well researched, and insightful all at once. Since there are already tons of reviews out there on the Internetziz that go into plenty of critical and general detail, I figured I'd just give a quick summary of what's featured in the book: <br />
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The main bands profiled: Black Flag, The Minutemen, Mission of Burma, Minor Threat (Fugazi), Husker Du, The Replacements, Sonic Youth, Butthole Surfers, Big Black, Dinosaur Jr. <br />
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Secondary subjects: Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Henry Rollins, Sebadoh, Steve Albini, SST Records, K Records, Sub Pop Records, the birth of punk and hardcore and straight-edge, various `zines, underground and indie scenes, and producers, musicians, influences, etc... <br />
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Quite humorous and harrowing, with awesome insider-interviews and wacky anecdotes, including a drunken cameo by Alex Chilton (of Chris Bell, Box Tops, and Big Star fame). Put this one on your bookshelf for some serious indie cred. <br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&tag=celebritycola-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&search-alias=aps&field-keywords=Our%20Band%20Could%20Be%20Your%20Life" target="_blank">Search Amazon.com for more books related to <i>Our Band Could Be Your Life</i></a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /><br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=celebritycola-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&m=amazon&f=ifr&md=10FE9736YVPPT7A0FBG2&asins=0316787531" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe>Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-72149639043066449292010-12-12T18:17:00.005-05:002010-12-12T18:26:36.364-05:00Album Review: 'Skull Ring' - Iggy's POPular comeback - running rings around modern punk<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzSy30TOcptWbkp8D0Jc_YOwdLtBSgNFguBeBhNJUZHALYp8X35LpvLLfeXEgFpwaK-818Qj0QjoqqxFcEiBQX6ZSWTQHZXwXQG9OgKQaZta3P1F6HvSJoqjePw8T7izgXvDQ/s1600/Iggy-Pop-Skull-Ring-Album-Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" /><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzSy30TOcptWbkp8D0Jc_YOwdLtBSgNFguBeBhNJUZHALYp8X35LpvLLfeXEgFpwaK-818Qj0QjoqqxFcEiBQX6ZSWTQHZXwXQG9OgKQaZta3P1F6HvSJoqjePw8T7izgXvDQ/s320/Iggy-Pop-Skull-Ring-Album-Cover.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Overall, this album may not be as raw, visceral, and fresh as <b><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fentity%2FIggy-Pop%2FB000APUNOS%3Fie%3DUTF8%26ref_%3Dsr_tc_2_0%26qid%3D1292195551%26sr%3D1-2-ent&tag=celebritycola-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=390957">Iggy Pop's</a> </b>early work -- and some of it seems a bit forced and a few of the collaborations border on sell-out territory or the completely forgettable (I'm thinking of the Sum 41 duet especially, but that ended up being one of the album's biggest hits, so when even the cheesiest track is a hit, you know the other stuff will rock) -- but in the end it's a helluva lot a fun, rocks like crazy, and brings back a power and energy lacking from Pop's more low-key solo work of recent years.<br />
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And the Stooges are back on some tracks! Such a longed for reunion mixed with cool guest stars and lots of energy. Overall, an exciting little album. Still, where Mr. Pop still rules is LIVE ... if you ever get a chance to see him perform at a stadium, club, or outdoor show, RUN, don't walk. It'll be worth every penny, even if you've never loved his live or studio albums... watching this man onstage, even in 2004, is like a fever dream of power and vitality. <br />
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After seeing some of the "Skull Ring" tracks performed live by the reunited Iggy & the Stooges (and, lately, with the great Mike "Minutemen" Watt on bass), it becomes clear that "Skull Ring" actually fits in perfectly with Iggy's seminal punk from the early '70s... somehow, this aging dude is still knocking out new material that cuts as deeply as the old... And at it's best, "Skull Ring" stands with the classics.<br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">For your enjoyment, here's the breakdown of Iggy Pop's "Skull Ring" collaborations. If I've left anyone out, leave a note. (Also, check out the "FatherFu****" album by <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fentity%2FPeaches%2FB000APS0AC%3Fie%3DUTF8%26ref_%3Dsr_tc_2_0%26qid%3D1292195432%26sr%3D1-2-ent&tag=celebritycola-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=390957" style="font-weight: bold;">Peaches</a> for another good Iggy Pop-Peaches duet):</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Little Electric Chair (with The Stooges)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Perverts In The Sun (with The Trolls)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Skull Rings (with The Stooges) {alternate title: "Skull Ring"}</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Super babe (with The Trolls)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Loser (with The Stooges)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Private Hell (with Green Day)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Little Know It All (with Sum 41)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Whatever (with The Trolls)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Dead Rock Star (with The Stooges)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Rock Show (with Peaches)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Here Comes The Summer (with The Trolls)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Motor Inn (with Peaches)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Inferiority Complex (with The Trolls)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Supermarket (with Green Day)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Till Wrong Feels Right {Iggy Pop solo}</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Blood On My Cool (with The Trolls)</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Nervous Exhaustion (with The Trolls) {hidden bonus track}</div><br />
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Audio CD:<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=celebritycola-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&m=amazon&f=ifr&md=10FE9736YVPPT7A0FBG2&asins=B0000D9YE7" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
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MP3 Digital Download:<br />
<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?lt1=_blank&bc1=000000&IS2=1&bg1=FFFFFF&fc1=000000&lc1=0000FF&t=celebritycola-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&m=amazon&f=ifr&md=10FE9736YVPPT7A0FBG2&asins=B000THCGKG" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&tag=celebritycola-20&link_code=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&search-alias=aps&field-keywords=Iggy%20Pop" target="_blank">Search Amazon.com for Iggy Pop</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=btl&camp=213689&creative=392969&o=1&a=" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important;" width="1" />Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-42021017719159513732009-03-12T15:23:00.002-04:002009-03-12T15:25:03.649-04:00Eastdown and Bound<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje5IZqYnrSMDA7sVHmRdpNyLIf_2eX3PxOJDmHF-3TbrSyaYFlI_zNDvQOoaALKkY3WpBPXkyjw2xxN4yZNHcZpg-y_TfoLuEIqrm1Y55riXGiQdsMnE986xHfsd7DFoocvL8/s1600-h/Eastbound_and_Down_HBO_Logo_Flyer_2009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje5IZqYnrSMDA7sVHmRdpNyLIf_2eX3PxOJDmHF-3TbrSyaYFlI_zNDvQOoaALKkY3WpBPXkyjw2xxN4yZNHcZpg-y_TfoLuEIqrm1Y55riXGiQdsMnE986xHfsd7DFoocvL8/s400/Eastbound_and_Down_HBO_Logo_Flyer_2009.jpg" style="cursor: move;" /></a></div><br />
<a href="http://www.hbo.com/eastboundanddown/">"Eastbound and Down"</a> is not yet the greatest show in the world, but it’s worth checking out. It’s got a weird tone – partly wacky redneck stuff; partly absurdest stuff that you’d expect from the <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/about">FunnyOrDie</a> and <a href="http://www.thefootfistway.com/">"Foot Fist Way"</a> guys; partly dark, depressing Tennessee Williams Southern-Gothic drama; and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0262432/">"George Washington"</a> realism mixed in with drug humor and social satire. All packed into under 30 minutes. <br />
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It’s weird when someone like Will Ferrell shows up as a guest star on the show, because the character he plays is a totally hammy FunnyOrDie type (e.g., SNL-style Comedy Acting + Over-the-Top Vulgarity) that is at once both awesome and entirely not fitting within the context of half the other plotlines, which involve the main character having problems with drugs, alcohol, steroids, and an inability to emotionally connect to people, a flat-lined career, etc. One moment you see the lead guy getting crushed by life; and the next moment you see him doing wacky cracker shtick opposite other purposely over-the-top actor-comedians. The show bounces around like this constantly. <br />
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The one-sentence pitch: It's like “Rosanne” meets “The Glass Menagerie” meets FunnyOrDie’s “The Landlord” meets "North Dallas Forty" meets “My Name is Earl,” if “My Name is Earl” was an R-rated movie by Kevin Smith instead of a Scientology-karma network sitcom.<br />
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It makes it hard to judge whether or not the show is good or bad. After four or five episodes I’m still not even sure if I like, love, or hate it. But I’ve gotta admit: It’s different, and it sometimes zigs in a different direction when you expect it zag somewhere else; not just plot-wise, but on an emotional and thematic level. And that makes it exciting for a sitcom.<br />
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I’m curious to see whether or not the show gets better or worse. Seems like it could be improved upon (balancing the comedy/drama and reality/absurdity better, working on the pacing, expanding the cast), but the current Redneck Man-Child Learns to Become a Real Man and Regains His High School Sweetheart routines will wear thin pretty quick if the show doesn’t figure out what arc to take the characters on next.<br />
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That said, after “Lost,” “Fringe,” “Flight of the Conchords,” “30 Rock,” “Underbelly,” “Damages,” and “The Office,” I’d have to say that <b><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0866442/">“Eastbound and Down</a></b>" is one of the best shows currently on TV, at least until <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1008108/">"Ashes to Ashes" </a>and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" bring forth their new seasons.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-27302971826684297132008-09-21T21:56:00.055-04:002008-09-23T05:24:17.245-04:00Caffeinated Contents & Luscious Links<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7_Ll_jjjRzUVMUPDmw-p8VtDGtnvM18fVX8ehvdFE_elKnj3dZCwbV0r9Bdv5QI_ZtFko1w2JWeN8DCZkik3DusBcNWq5ldVr3-dPH_JLiTvJI2CS31fJkZnm-d7vrzQdUh0/s1600-h/Celebrity-Cola-Archives_Old-Nice-Menu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiml1bQMtGhBNRpy7SQt-kJd9fF1iA_8GwzPQWweVRStCKrikpNwVmhLlQKGIo4jcA4WLW2tPlvUswmK20ij0pE9lfM1_Yyq0rRW_phs_tEGO9YHIKbH74JOMEva3mfkAU4yrM/s200-r/Celebrity-Cola-Archives_Old-Nice-Menu.jpg" border="0" /></a></div>For years I'd been carefully organizing the best Celebrity Cola links into a slick CSS/Java/HTML-styled table-of-contents. On the front end, it was just a cool, fast, elegant-looking interface. On the backend, the code was based on the work of <a href="http://www.nickrigby.com/">Nick Rigby</a>, the <a href="http://drupal.org/project/nice_menus">Drupal "Nice Menu" project</a>, and others, and I'd layered in some little Easter Eggs of my own.<br /><br />The menu boiled down hundreds of external and internal links into a little 12-item box that didn't look like much until you hovered over one of the main categories -- at which point the little category arrow would bounce and a whole new list of sub-categories would zoom onto the screen, with sub-sub categories folding out from there. Alright, so maybe that sounds lame. But, no, seriously, it was pretty awesome, as far as text-heavy drop-down/pop-out menus go ;|)<br /><br />However, it was a pain to update. So I'm finally switching over to the built-in organization and navigation options offered by Blogger (collapsible archive lists, labels/tags, link-lists, news-feeds, etc.).<br /><br />As a memorandum, I figured I'd drop the latest, greatest, and final version of the old "nice menu" table of contents code into a blog post. However, it's playing absolute havoc with a few of the new Blogger widgets I just added, and various style sheet conflicts are popping up, so I'm <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Towel_Day">throwing in the towel</a>. Instead, here's a really craptacular <i>ol' ol' skool </i>version of the previous Celebrity Cola Table of Contents & Related Hyperlinks:<br /><ul id="nice-menu"><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html">The Semi-Complete Cola Archives And Favorites</a></b><br /><br /><ul><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Cinema/Flicks</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/10/ms-hollywood-science-id-like-you-to.html" target="_blank">Ms. Hollywood Science, I'd Like You to Meet Mr. Government Bureaucracy...</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/09/wicked-dreams-of-paula-schultz-frank.html" target="_blank">The Wicked Dreams of <strike>Paula Schultz</strike> Frank Miller</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/06/movie-review-bonanza-june-2005.html" target="_blank">A Movie Review Bonanza (June 2005)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/04/king-of-booze-abel-ferrara.html" target="_blank">The King of Booze: Abel Ferrara</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/01/aviator-review-dicaprio-qa-kill-bill_28.html" target="_blank">"The Aviator" Review, DiCaprio Q&A, "Kill Bill," and Aussie Lamb All Taste A-OK</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/12/movie-reviews-and-news-december-2004.html" target="_blank">Movie Reviews and News (December 2004)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/11/transcendence-of-space-in-von-triers.html" target="_blank">Transcendence of Space in Von Trier's "Breaking the Waves"</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/11/name-droppings-movie-and-screening.html" target="_blank">Name Droppings (a movie and screening review of "After the Sunset")</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Comix</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/12/geeking-out-on-graphic-art-sidling-up.html" target="_blank">Geeking Out on Graphic Art, Sidling Up to Sci-Fi</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/09/wicked-dreams-of-paula-schultz-frank.html" target="_blank">The Wicked Dreams of <strike>Paula Schultz</strike> Frank Miller</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/09/what-makes-brachish-run.html" target="_blank">What Makes Brachish Run?</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/comix-big-henry-baghead-bob-joyfully.html" target="_blank">Comix: Big Henry & Baghead Bob Joyfully Asphyxiate the Bourgeois</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Books</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2006/01/one-state-two-state-red-state-blue.html">One State Two State, Red State Blue State</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/12/reprogramming-science.html" target="_blank">Stephen Wolfram's "A New Kind of Science"</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/hubbard-dickdianetics-vs-valis.html" target="_blank">HUBBARD & DICK—"Dianetics" vs. "Valis"</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/martin-amis-times-arrow.html" target="_blank">Martin Amis' "Time’s Arrow"</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/gargantua-and-pantagruel.html" target="_blank">François Rabelais' "Gargantua & Pantagruel"</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Ramblings</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/05/death-threats-and-flowers-or-how-i.html" target="_blank">Death Threats and Flowers (or, How I Dialed Murder for Love)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/04/mayor-of-diversity.html" target="_blank">The Mayor of Diversity</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/03/hi-techlo-tech-surviving-end-of-times.html" target="_blank">Hi-Tech/Lo-Tech: Surviving the End of Times (When the shit hits the fan, Armageddon it on!)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/01/nicotine-addicts-unite-safer-euro-cigs.html" target="_blank">Nicotine Addicts Unite -- Safer Euro Cigs Now Banned in the U.S.</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/11/you-need-enemy-to-stay-happy-and.html" target="_blank">You Need an Enemy to Stay Happy and Strong (A Self-Help Book)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/11/where-can-i-find-greatest-cheese-in.html" target="_blank">Where can I find the greatest cheese in the entire world (for, you know, really cheap)?</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/11/fck-south-but-love-their-chicken-wings.html" target="_blank">F*ck The South (but love their chicken wings and biscuits)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/navel-gazing-origin-story-as-opposed.html" target="_blank">A Navel-Gazing Origin Story (as opposed to a Naval-Gazing Orange Storey)</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Filmmaking</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/10/creating-indie-cinema-guide-to-making.html" target="_blank">Creating Indie Cinema: A Guide to Making Low-Budget Films</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/indie-filmmaking-resources-underground.html" target="_blank">Indie Filmmaking Resources & Underground Cinema's Caveh Zahedi</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/acting-in-student-films-interviews.html" target="_blank">Acting in Student Films (Interviews with Actors and Filmmakers)</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Mixed Media</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/10/whats-pr-got-to-do-with-it.html" target="_blank">What's PR Got to Do With It?</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/07/writing-hand-that-feeds-you.html" target="_blank">Writing the Hand That Feeds You</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/02/when-sitcoms-make-you-weep.html" target="_blank">When Sitcoms Make You Weep</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/01/to-possess-or-not-to-possess-that-is.html" target="_blank">To Possess or Not to Possess, That is the Grammatical (and Poltergeistical) Question</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/01/why-print-pubs-shouldnt-charge-for-old.html" target="_blank">Why Print Pubs Shouldn't Charge for Old News (listen up!)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/12/when-water-attacks-press-goes-ga-ga.html" target="_blank">When Water Attacks! Press goes ga-ga for tsunamis...</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Music</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/03/cheap-music-for-masses.html" target="_blank">Cheap Music for the Masses</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/08/hotel-lights-whatever-happened-to-rest.html" target="_blank">Whatever happened to the rest of Ben Folds Five</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/09/what-makes-brachish-run.html" target="_blank">What Makes Brachish Run?</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/rollingstone-politically-cool-again.html" target="_blank">RollingStone - Politically Cool Again?</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/final-nail-in-coffin-of-punk-rock.html" target="_blank">The Final Nail in the Coffin of Punk Rock</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Science & Religion</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/12/reprogramming-science.html" target="_blank">Reprogramming Science</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/04/jedi-theocracy.html" target="_blank">Jedi Theocracy</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/02/apocalyptic-battle-between-science.html" target="_blank">The Apocalyptic Battle Between Science, Religion, Republicans, the Environment, and Those Dreaded Neo-Hippies</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/01/god-hates-shrimp-loves-fake-signs-and.html" target="_blank">God Hates Shrimp, Loves Fake Signs (And Teutonic Dole Bludgers)</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Sex</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/crafting-cooler-cooter.html" target="_blank">Crafting a Cooler Cooter</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/backdoor-friends-anal-sex-for.html" target="_blank">Backdoor Friends: Anal Sex for the Aristocracy</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/dear-gay-dudes.html" target="_blank">Dear Gay Dude(s)</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Politics</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2006/01/one-state-two-state-red-state-blue.html">One State Two State, Red State Blue State</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2006/01/et-tu-coulter-repub-nutters-have-bushs.html">Et tu, Coulter? (Repub Nutters Have Bush's Back)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/10/corporate-governance.html" target="_blank">Corporate Governance</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/09/founding-fathers-formulations-faked-to.html" target="_blank">Founding Fathers' Formulations Faked to Further Church in State</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/01/in-defense-of-michael-moore-fact.html" target="_blank">In Defense of Michael Moore (fact versus fiction & good ol' Oscar)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/11/map-of-voter-subtlety-city-folkcountry.html" target="_blank">A Map of Voter Subtlety (city folk/country folk faultlines made clear)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/11/bush-and-kerry-related-to-vlad-impaler.html" target="_blank">Bush and Kerry Related to Vlad the Impaler and Royal Family (Did the Vampire Bite the Prez & Prince?)</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Really Old Politics</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/11/msnbc-democrats-whimper-and-regroup.html" target="_blank">MSNBC & Newsweek Declare Nader Possibly Sane; Demand for Recount Continues; Democrats Whimper and Regroup</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/11/united-states-of-jesusland-times-black.html" target="_blank">United States of JesusLand; Time's Black Tuesday; Images from the FWD Void; E-Voter Fraud Abundant</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/11/kerry-cant-carry-bush-cant-be-beat.html" target="_blank">Kerry Can't Carry; Bush Can't Be Beat; Edwards Is Awkward; Cheney Steals the <strike>Show</strike> Election</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/11/election-coverage-why-not-national.html" target="_blank">Election Coverage: Why Not "National Martin Luther King Election Day?" ('cause we need a holiday...)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/texas-conservative-drinks-repub.html" target="_blank">Texas Conservative Drinks the Repub KoolAid; Bush Looks for Votes in Space</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/screwing-and-swinging-vote.html" target="_blank">Screwing (and Swinging) the Vote</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/repubs-tear-up-vote.html" target="_blank">Repubs Tear Up the Vote</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/oh-well-speaking-of-lesbians.html" target="_blank">Oh, well, speaking of lesbians...</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/theres-gay-in-my-closet.html" target="_blank">There's a Gay in My Closet!</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/why-catholics-should-vote-for-baby.html" target="_blank">Why Catholics Should Vote for Baby Killers (just so long as they confess later, natch)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/dear-gay-dudes.html" target="_blank">Dear Gay Dude(s)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/10/democrats-find-god-kinda.html" target="_blank">The Democrats Find God - Kinda</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html" target="_blank">Stocks</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/10/penny-stocks-part-2-bollinger-is-not.html" target="_blank">Penny Stocks Part 2: Bollinger is Not a Rock Band</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/10/penny-stocks-part-1-psychological.html" target="_blank">Penny Stocks Part 1: Psychological Trappings</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/09/what-makes-brachish-run.html" target="_blank">What Makes Brachish Run?</a></li></ul><br /></li></ul></li><li class="menuparent" style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/complete-celebrity-cola-archive.html">Cola Apocrypha</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/07/gawd-dash-it-all-ms-word-shortcuts.html">Gawd Dash It All: MS Word Shortcuts Made Easy</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/05/free-blogging-freeway.html">The Free Blogging Freeway</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/03/blogging-about-blogs-that-sometimes.html">Blogging About Blogs That Sometimes Blog About Blogs</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/02/new-blog-carnival-showcase.html">The New Blog Carnival Showcase Extravaganza </a><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/02/new-blog-showcase.html">(and new entry rules)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/preserving-formatting-when-posting.html">Preserving Formatting When Posting Documents Online (Word to basic HTML)</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/making-mailing-labels-and-form-letters.html">Making Mailing Labels and Form Letters From Lists</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/list-of-all-celebrity-cola-articles.html">Weblog Directories, Blog Tools, RSS aggregators, Search Engine Notes, etc.</a></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://lfw.org/jminc/Malkovich/http://celebritycola.blogspot.com" target="_blank">Malkovich Cola</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://lfw.org/jminc/Malkovich/http://celebritycola.blogspot.com" target="_blank">You Know Your Wanna Click it...</a></li></ul><br /></li></ul></li><li class="menuparent" style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/research-links-helpful-websites-and.html">Source Soda</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://www.bartleby.com/" target="_blank">Bartleby's online reference works</a></li><li><a href="http://csmonitor.com/" target="_blank">The Christian Science Monitor, daily independent news</a></li><li><a href="http://www.democracynow.org/" target="_blank">DemocracyNow.org</a></li><li><a href="http://www.mediatransparency.org/" target="_blank">Media Transparency</a></li><li><a href="http://www.sourcewatch.org/" target="_blank">SourceWatch and...</a></li><li><a href="http://www.prwatch.org/spin/" target="_blank">Spin of the Day, cataloguing the manipulators of public opinion.</a></li><li><a href="http://www.gawker.com/" target="_blank">Gawker, media gossip</a></li><li><a href="http://www.motherjones.com/" target="_blank">Mother Jones, investigative journalism</a></li><li><a href="http://www.thenation.com/" target="_blank">The Nation, left-wing news</a></li><li><a href="http://www.non-religious.com/" target="_blank">Non-religious.com</a></li><li><a href="http://www.nationalreview.com/" target="_blank">The National Review, right-wing views</a></li><li><a href="http://www.villagevoice.com/" target="_blank">The Village Voice</a></li><li><a href="http://wikipedia.org/" target="_blank">Wikipedia, the open-source encyclopedia</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent" style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/research-links-helpful-websites-and.html">Entertainment Dew</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/03/cheap-music-for-masses.html" target="_blank">A+ Music News and MP3's</a></li><li><a href="http://www.aintitcool.com/" target="_blank">Ain't It Cool News, movies & comics</a></li><li><a href="http://www.cinemablend.com/" target="_blank">CinemaBlend, news & reviews</a></li><li><a href="http://www.discountmagazines.com/" target="_blank">Discount Magazines, about $6 a year</a></li><li><a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/" target="_blank">The Gutenberg Project (free eBooks)</a></li><li><a href="http://www.greencine.com/" target="_blank">GreenCine, indie DVDs & video-on-demand</a></li><li><a href="http://hackingnetflix.com/" target="_blank">Hacking Netflix, DVD-rental tips</a></li><li><a href="http://www.homestarrunner.com/" target="_blank">Homestar Runner, cartoons</a></li><li><a href="http://indiewire.com/" target="_blank">indieWIRE, indie film news</a></li><li><a href="http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/" target="_blank">Pitchfork, music news & reviews</a></li><li><a href="http://www.rottentomatoes.com/" target="_blank">Rotten Tomatoes, movie reviews</a></li><li><a href="http://www.strandbooks.com/" target="_blank">The Strand, rare & discounted books</a></li><li><a href="http://worldofwonder.net/" target="_blank">The WOW Report, pop-culture coverage</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent" style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/07/writing-hand-that-feeds-you.html">2-Liter Media Jobs</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/07/writing-hand-that-feeds-you.html" target="_blank">Ed2010, Mandy.com, MediaBistro, etc.</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent" style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/research-links-helpful-websites-and.html">Software-Up</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://www.free-av.com/" target="_blank">AntiVir, free virus protection</a></li><li><a href="http://www.download.com/CCleaner/3000-2144_4-10346218.html" target="_blank">CCleaner, system-optimization</a></li><li><a href="http://www.download.com/" target="_blank">Download.com, free proggies</a></li><li><a href="http://www.spreadfirefox.com/?q=affiliates&id=75309&t=75" target="_blank">Firefox, a better way to browse</a></li><li><a href="http://www.irfanview.com/" target="_blank">IrfanView, fast image viewer, editor, and converter</a></li><li><a href="http://sourceforge.net/" target="_blank">SourceForge.net, the open source revolution</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent" style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/research-links-helpful-websites-and.html">Website Pop</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://a9.com/" target="_blank">A9.com, combo search</a></li><li><a href="http://www.auditmypc.com/" target="_blank">Audit My PC, web security</a></li><li><a href="http://www.bugmenot.com/" target="_blank">Bug Me Not (login anywhere)</a></li><li><a href="http://english-24896904920.spampoison.com/" target="_blank">Spam Poison</a></li><li><a href="http://www.statcounter.com/" target="_blank">StatCounter.com</a></li><li><a href="http://wholinkstome.com/" target="_blank" title="Click here to see who's linking to this site.">WhoLinksToMe.com</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent" style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/research-links-helpful-websites-and.html">Stock Soft-Drinks</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://allpennystocks.com/apsc/us/index.htm" target="_blank">AllPennyStocks.com</a></li><li><a href="http://www.allstocks.com/stockmessageboard/ubb/ultimatebb.php" target="_blank">Allstocks's Bulletin Board</a></li><li><a href="http://www.americanbulls.biz/" target="_blank">American Bulls (Candlesticker)</a></li><li><a href="http://barchart.com/" target="_blank">Barchart.com</a></li><li><a href="http://www.internetstockblog.com/" target="_blank">The Internet Stock Blog</a></li><li><a href="http://www.thekirkreport.com/" target="_blank">The Kirk Report</a></li><li><a href="http://www.otcbbtrader.com/" target="_blank">MicrocapTrader's OTCBB Trader</a></li><li><a href="http://www.financialspider.com/" target="_blank">Financial Spider (with Level II quotes)</a></li><li><a href="http://soundmoney.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Show Me the Money (blog)</a></li><li><a href="http://www.stockprowler.com/" target="_blank">Stock Prowler</a></li><li><a href="http://www.stockhouse.com/news/" target="_blank">StockHouse News</a></li><li><a href="http://www.wallstreetcorner.com/" target="_blank">WallStreetCorner (Larry's Picks)</a></li><li><a href="http://www.zacks.com/" target="_blank">Zacks (Earning Estimates)</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent" style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/blogs-that-matter.html">Dr. Blogger</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://blogcritics.org/" target="_blank">BlogCritics.org</a></li><li><a href="http://ggth.typepad.com/media/" target="_blank">Bloghorreah</a><a href="http://ggth.typepad.com/" target="_blank"> & GGTH</a></li><li><a href="http://boingboing.net/" target="_blank">Boing Boing</a></li><li><a href="http://www.curbed.com/" target="_blank">Curbed (NYC)</a></li><li><a href="http://www.dailykos.com/" target="_blank">The Daily Kos</a></li><li><a href="http://gothamist.com/" target="_blank">The Gothamist (NYC)</a></li><li><a href="http://www.lies.com/" target="_blank">Lies.com</a></li><li><a href="http://journalism.nyu.edu/pubzone/weblogs/pressthink/" target="_blank">Jay Rosen’s PressThink </a></li><li><a href="http://maddox.xmission.com/" target="_blank">Maddox, "The Best Page..."</a></li><li><a href="http://maudnewton.com/blog/" target="_blank">Maud Newton</a></li><li><a href="http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/" target="_blank">Overheard in NY</a></li><li><a href="http://www.smirkingchimp.com/" target="_blank">The Smirking Chimp</a></li><li><a href="http://www.zudfunck.com/" target="_blank">ZuDfunck</a></li></ul><br /></li><li class="menuparent" style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/blogs-that-matter.html">Blog & Tonic</a></b><br /><ul><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/blogs-that-matter.html" target="_blank">Fave Blogs, A-D</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://teferiffic.com/" target="_blank">Alec Teferiffic</a></li><li><a href="http://www.aslan.demon.co.uk/" target="_blank">Andrew Rilstone, Gentleman</a></li><li><a href="http://azpnj.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Arizona Perspective & Junk</a></li><li><a href="http://www.boston-legal.org/" target="_blank">Boston-Legal.org</a></li><li><a href="http://kenlevine.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">By Ken Levine, Sitcom Writer</a></li><li><a href="http://mirrorsareeverywhere.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Catoptrophobe Nightmare (NY journal)</a></li><li><a href="http://dialogic.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Dialogic</a></li><li><a href="http://donttouchthefeet.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Don't Touch the Feet (Toronto)</a></li><li><a href="http://dumpsterbust.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Dumpster Bust (California)</a></li></ul></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/blogs-that-matter.html" target="_blank">Fave Blogs, F-L</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://filmgeeks.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Film Geeks</a></li><li><a href="http://fistfuloffortnights.net/" target="_blank">Fistful of Fortnights (Oklahoma)</a></li><li><a href="http://flamingduck.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Flaming Duck (Republican)</a></li><li><a href="http://itly.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Itly Pongal Vadai Sambar (India, in English)</a></li><li><a href="http://not-crunchy.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">I'm Not Crunchy!</a></li></ul></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/blogs-that-matter.html" target="_blank">Fave Blogs, M-S</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://musing-wanderer.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">My Meandering Thoughts</a></li><li><a href="http://www.patreesha.com/" target="_blank">Patreesha.com</a></li><li><a href="http://satiricalpolitical.com/" target="_blank">The Satirical Political Report</a></li><li><a href="http://smackspeaks.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Smack Speaks</a></li><li><a href="http://sorestloser.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">The Sorest Loser</a></li><li><a href="http://www.spacecoastweb.org/blog/" target="_blank">Space Coast Weblog (Florida)</a></li><li><a href="http://swingbatterbatter.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Swing Batter Batter! (England) </a></li></ul></li><li class="menuparent"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/blogs-that-matter.html" target="_blank">Fave Blogs, T-Z</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://dorksidetales.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Tales from the Dorkside</a></li><li><a href="http://www.technudge.com/" target="_blank">Technudge</a></li><li><a href="http://universalacid.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Universal Acid</a></li><li><a href="http://willbradyjournal.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Will Brady's Short Notes</a></li><li><a href="http://witnit.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Witnit</a></li><li><a href="http://xrayspex.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">X-Ray Spex (Comics & TV)</a></li><li><i><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/03/blogging-about-blogs-that-sometimes.html">The Best Blogs...</a></i></li><li><i><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/02/new-blog-carnival-showcase.html">Newish Blogs...</a></i></li></ul><br /></li></ul></li><li class="menuparent" style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/blogs-that-matter.html">Blog Cordials</a></b><br /><ul><li><a href="http://www.blogexplosion.com/index.php?ref=brachish" target="_blank">Blog Explosion</a></li><li><a href="http://www.bloghop.com/ratemyblog.htm?rate=rate1&rid=29153" target="_blank">BlogHop</a></li><li><a href="http://blog.hotornot.com/r/?eid=SQEE&key=LWMQ">Blog: Hot or Not?</a></li><li><a href="javascript:void(rollpop=window.open('http://www.blogrolling.com/add_links_pop.phtml?u=http://celebritycola.blogspot.com&t=Celebrity%20Cola','rollit','scrollbars=no,width=475,height=350,left=75,top=175,status=yes,resizable=yes'));rollpop.focus();">Blogroll Me!</a></li><li><a href="http://blogshares.com/?referer=22757" target="_blank">BlogShares</a></li><li><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/02/new-blog-showcase.html">Blog Showcase</a></li><li><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/things/" target="_blank">BlogThings</a></li><li><a alt="join the nycbloggers.com project" href="http://www.nycbloggers.com/" target="_blank" title="the NYC Bloggers Map">NYC Bloggers Map</a></li><li><a href="http://www.truthlaidbear.com/showdetails.php?host=http://celebritycola.blogspot.com">TLB Ecosystem</a></li><li><a href="http://www.theweblogreview.com/" target="_blank">The Weblog Review</a></li></ul><br /></li><li style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/">Home</a></b></li></ul>Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-3774100246990342852008-09-11T03:05:00.011-04:002008-09-13T16:58:16.740-04:00You Can Put Lipstick On a Frog, But You Can't Make an Amphibian Balance the Budget<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQc8lzGwXJZ9BZerrUub_fVYhGvNXbzQuQJGfHojwW59H2Ugr7Qu0pvSmrgJiyrRBB9pcKai4g1VlOdNcMBhcQHYDKHyLBT2-NpVXbyT_qY90o6PDKGYtHInOVVKg8lkbxJzA/s1600-h/McCain-Palin-LApig_and_Kermie.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5244656693688423762" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQc8lzGwXJZ9BZerrUub_fVYhGvNXbzQuQJGfHojwW59H2Ugr7Qu0pvSmrgJiyrRBB9pcKai4g1VlOdNcMBhcQHYDKHyLBT2-NpVXbyT_qY90o6PDKGYtHInOVVKg8lkbxJzA/s320/McCain-Palin-LApig_and_Kermie.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 253px; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 411px;" /></a><br />
<br />
Yeah, that's right, I haven't posted anything new here in an eon.... Wanted to, just haven't had the time. But for better or worse, for at least this one post I am <span style="font-style: italic;">so back</span>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tootsie">tootsie</a>.<br />
<br />
Check it out:<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 180%;"><span style="font-size: 85%;"><a href="http://youcanputlipstickonapig.com/"><span style="font-style: italic;">YouCanPutLipstickOnAPig.com</span></a></span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://youcanputlipstickonapig.blogspot.com/2008/09/lipstick-on-pigs-and-pig-noses-on.html">A new low for bad comedy?</a> Yowza.<br />
<br />
Blame the Brachish.<br />
<br />
Luckily, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margery_Eagan">Margery Eagan</a> has a far more intelligent and informative (but still rather witty) take on <a href="http://youcanputlipstickonapig.blogspot.com/2008/09/secret-origin-story-of-lipstick-pig.html">the "Lipstick" fiasco</a> than I -- read her Boston Herald article, "<a href="http://news.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/columnists/view/2008_09_11_GOP_draws_line_in_the_sand_in_lipstick">GOP draws line in the sand in lipstick</a>" after you check out my <a href="http://youcanputlipstickonapig.com/">(s)wine-induced porker of an Election 2008 lark</a>.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1147537001311663372006-05-13T12:08:00.000-04:002006-05-28T15:24:36.010-04:00Conservative Presidents Always Tell the Truth (A Guide to Irony)<span style="font-weight: bold;">Word o' da month: </span><br /><br />Courtesy of Guardian Unlimited, <span style="font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,3605,985375,00.html">IRONY</a></span> is nicely and humorously (if perhaps mostly unironically) explained by Zoe Williams, who aptly notes that one form of irony "states the lie in order to expose the lie," meaning that irony is "a route to truth." The Wikipedia guide to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony">irony</a> ain't too shabby neither. (Note to self: Double-negative sentence constructions are not necessarily ironic, even when intentional). Don't expect a simple "Synonymous with dry, wry, sardonic, ironical, or humorously sarcastic and mocking" definition. Oh no. This is the real deal. It goes for the juggling jugulars of all those that have maligned and misunderstood the true word.<br /><br />And after you've read all of that, you'll probably want to go back to using "ironic" in the same way you always have, because, heck, the true in-depth definitions of irony are bloody tedious and confusing -- or at least near-impossible to juggle accurately within the personal lexicon of everyday parlance. For instance, if people don't say "irony" (because 98% of people are using it incorrectly) then they'll have to say something like "cynically humorous" or "an inauthentic statement meant for sarcastic effect" or "intrinsically and hyperbolically hypocritical or paradoxical" or "a form of cosmically post-modern cosmic irony" or "negatively-serendipitous and incongruously coincidental compared to what one might expect" instead -- all of which are mighty cumbersome.<br /><br />So forget irony.... just so long as people use the word "literally" correctly, I'm happy. Because that's a misused word that really drives me soup-to-nuts. <span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;" href="http://literally.barelyfitz.com/">Literally</a></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">. </span>(Well, maybe not <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Literal_and_figurative_language"><span style="font-style: italic;">literally</span></a>; but it's more irritating than listening to a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=celebritycola-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=1789&creative=9325&path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2FB0000029ZJ">Chipmunks</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /> musical version of "Mein Kampf.")<br /><br />***<br /><br />Key quotes from Zoe Williams' 2003 <span style="font-style: italic;">Guardian </span>article, "The Final Irony," linked above:<br /><br />In regards to the so-called "ironic" viewpoint of most lad mags, much of reality TV, celeb gossip rags, and the like: <span style="font-weight: bold;">"[They're saying] 'I'm not saying what you think I'm saying, but I'm not saying its opposite, either. In fact, I'm not saying anything at all. But I get to keep the tits.' ... So, we're not the first age to use irony (as some insist), but we are the first to use it in this vacuous, agenda-free and often highly amusing way."</span> On the other hand, it's not all fun and games, as Williams goes on to note that in the more traditional sense of the word, <span style="font-weight: bold;">"America having funded al-Qaida is ironic; America raining bombs and peanut butter on Afghanistan is ironic."</span> Ouch. Those Pommy Brits know how to rub it in....<br /><br />***<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >(For pointing out an important typo in this post, shout-outs go to <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/791850">Zennist</a>.)</span>Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1137827135104088962006-01-21T01:55:00.002-05:002008-09-13T03:35:03.556-04:00One State Two State, Red State Blue State<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/red_State_Blue_State.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/red_State_Blue_State.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Poetry and limericks were replaced in popular culture by television, music lyrics, and cultural consumerism long ago. But just as modern-day poets keep fightin' the good fight and Anne Carson successfully reinvigorated the epic poetic form with <i>Autobiography of Red</i>, scribes such as Don Davis are struggling to bring back the art of rhyming satire.<br /><br />Thus, Davis' <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=celebritycola-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=1789&creative=9325&path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F1933265418%2Fqid%3D1137921598%2F">One State Two State, Red State Blue State: A Satirical Guide to the Political and Culture Wars</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" width="1" height="1" /></i> is a bold attempt to render contemporary American society in rib-tickling verse. But how receptive, really, will today's society be?<br /><br />To quote the ever-present <a href="http://www.sexandthecityquotes.com/characters/carrie-quotes-27.html"><i>Sex and the City</i></a>, wherein lead character Carrie Bradshaw's erudite suitor tries to turn her on to the finer aspects of metric verse:<br /><b></b><blockquote><b>Carrie</b>: How about I read you a little bit of <i>my</i> favorite poetry?<br /><br /><b>Aleksandr</b>: Please.<br /><br /><b>Carrie</b> [Reading from a <i>Vogue</i> magazine]: "Cocktails at Tiffany's calls for classic charm. Oscar de la Renta, sleeveless silk full-skirted dress with black patent leather bow belt." Now <i>that</i> is pure poetry.</blockquote>Ah, yes: products and fashion. That is poetry to many. Or should I say, "too many"? <i>Red State Blue State</i>, then, may be a change of pace that not everyone can appreciate. But for those willing to plunge into the depths of Davis' old-school comedy stylings, many chuckles await, with chapter headings along the lines of "Was Jesus Red or Blue?," "Can There Be a Culture War Without Any Culture?," "The Age of A-queer-ius," "Iraqnaphobia," and "Desperate Democrats" signaling the many topics being wittily marinated, skewered, and barbequed.<br /><br />If <i>Red State Blue State</i> has a weakness, it namely lies within its timeliness: Jokes about Bill Clinton and Al Gore are already growing dreadfully stale, pop-culture references quickly lose bite, and John Kerry is barely a memory. Once George W. Bush and the current crop of congressmen leave office, <i>Red State Blue State</i> will likely lose its relevance.<br /><br />And yet it's hard to fault the writer for this failing since it's the same trap that snares most of-the-moment cultural and <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/politics" rel="tag">political</a> writing—becoming timeless while staying timely is near impossible. The book is funny <i>because</i> it's timely, but that timeliness is also what marginalizes the material since you have to understand its social and historical context and it's many little news references in order to get the jokes.<br /><br />On the other hand, if Hilary Clinton and/or Jeb Bush run for the presidency within the next decade and the Iraq War and Al Qaeda terrorist conflicts remain unresolved—all of which seem likely—then Bush, Clinton, and Mid East gags will automatically become relevant all over again, so <i>Red State Blue State</i> may be able to keep some of it's edge for a few years to come.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/Dr_Seuss_RepublicanParty.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/Dr_Seuss_RepublicanParty.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>That said, the best time to read the book is <i>now</i>, while it's still fresh. And when you're done flipping through it, it'll make a perfect little gift for your hard-to-shop-for political-fanatic compadres. One caveat: Although <i>Red State Blue State</i> heckles both the left- and right-wings of society, the book saves it's sharpest and most frequent jabs for the conservative right (the author is a New York Blue Stater). For me, that's perfect. For namby-pamby Republicans, it might be a problem.<br /><br />Political affiliations aside, it's of interest to remember that <i>Red State Blue State</i> has antecedents in the works of famed wordsmiths like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shel_Silverstein">Shel Silverstein</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Seuss">Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss)</a>, who wrote rhymes for children that appealed across generations, but also worked in the realms of social and political satire. In turn, this makes me wonder if Davis should have taken a cue from those esteemed men and laced his verse with inventive drawings.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/Addicted_to_war_Iraq_edition.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/200/Addicted_to_war_Iraq_edition.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Clever illustrations would make <i>Red State Blue State</i> a superior gift and worthy coffee table piece. The most memorable Silverstein and <a href="http://orpheus.ucsd.edu/speccoll/dspolitic/index.htm">Geisel works</a>, editorial cartoons, Joel Andreas' hilarious and frightening <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=celebritycola-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=1789&creative=9325&path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F1933265418%2Fqid%3D1137921598%2Fhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fproduct%2F1904859011%2Fqid%3D1137922148%2F">Addicted to War</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" width="1" height="1" /></i> graphic novel, and illuminate biblical scriptures all benefit from artistic renderings juxtaposing against text, and the lack of detailed, risible art is what makes the numerous pages of <i>Red State</i> look more imposing and less entertaining than its lighthearted contents actually are.<br /><br />I'll close this review by stealing the inscription from the opening of <i>Red State Blue State</i>: "You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it." – <i>Art Buchwald</i><br /><br />Like <a href="http://www.redstatebluestatebook.com/"><i>Red State Blue State</i></a>, that quip is witty, sad, and awfully, wryly, kinda true.<br /><br /><br /><b>Excerpts</b>:<br /><br /><i></i><blockquote><i>Hardball</i>, <i>Crossfire</i>, <i>The McLaughlin Group</i><br />All yelling at the top of their lungs<br />Would the national dialogue be better served<br />If we simply cut out their tongues?<br />But on second thought, all this white noise<br />Really does serve the nation<br />After all, man can't live by smut alone<br />He also needs mental masturbation...<br /><br />...The media's coverage of politics<br />Is usually like a horserace<br />Who's up, who's down, who's leading the pack<br />Who's falling down on their face<br />But if an ambitious reporter attempted<br />To boil down a candidate's views<br />She'd find herself off the network<br />Covering cooking on the local news...<br /><br />...But for those truly worried<br />About the Red/Blue Divide<br />It's not quite time<br />For National Suicide<br />With erectile dysfunction<br />And wardrobe malfunction<br />This whole country may be obscene<br />But one thing is clear<br />What we all hold dear<br />Is not Red or Blue, but the GREEN.</blockquote>***<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Related:</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/shel_Silverstein_mary_poppins.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/shel_Silverstein_mary_poppins.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Check out <a href="http://orpheus.ucsd.edu/speccoll/dspolitic/index.htm">"Dr. Seuss Went to War"</a> (political cartoons) and <a href="http://orpheus.ucsd.edu/speccoll/dsads/index.shtml">"The Advertising Work of Dr. Seuss,"</a> both curtesy of the Mandeville Special Collections Library's <a href="http://orpheus.ucsd.edu/speccoll/seusscoll.html">Dr. Seuss Collection</a>.<br /><br />Also, many of <a href="http://web.archive.org/web/20061206021957/http://www.banned-width.com/index.html">Shel Silverstein's adult works</a> were stored at Banned-Width.com (regrettably this website disappeared at the end of 2006, but most of the site's content can still be found via the web.archive.org Internet Archive Wayback Machine), while info on his magical children's books can be found at <a href="http://www.shelsilverstein.com/">ShelSilverstein.com</a>.<br /><br />And author-lawyer Don Davis has a new blog up and running, <a href="http://satiricalpolitical.com/">The Satirical Political Report: An Offbeat Look at the Hot-Button Issues of the Day</a>.<br /><br />***<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Note: </span>The review portion of this post will be <a href="http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/01/21/144400.php">mirrored at Blogcritics.org and Amazon.com.</a>Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1137929101655722692006-01-01T04:59:00.000-05:002006-05-13T12:08:42.736-04:00Et tu, Coulter? (Repub Nutters Have Bush's Back)<i>Our story thus far: The politically right-wing, so-called-conservative Republican Party has obtained unprecedented power in the United States of America, having gobbled up top spots in courts across the land and both houses of congress, in addition to landing George W. Bush a second term as president of the country.<br /><br />Now, secure in their supremacy, Republicans with so much as even an ounce of ethical morality and/or half a brain feel confident that occasionally they can speak the truth about the hypocrisy and financial absurdity rife within the Bush/Cheney Administration. However, not all True Believers of the supposedly God-loving, "normal guy" Bush are ready to hear any remarks of ill repute concerning their Beloved Leader. Thus, many conservative commentators have taken to sugarcoating their Bush jabs with left-wing/liberal jokes to help the medicine go down:</i><br /><br />Alright, so I just read the updated version of <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.humaneventsonline.com/article.php?id=11167&o=ANN001">"Kwanzaa: A Holiday From the FBI,"</a> an anti-liberal and anti-Kwanzaa screed by Ann Coulter, author of <i>How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must)</i> and other grandiose wackiness loved by Repubs and loathed by Dems. Her unraveling of the possible truth behind Kwanzaa was originally written back in 2001, I believe, but the article gets passed around maniacally every year during the holiday season, and thus it's back once more. (Originally the column began by referencing <a href="http://www.townhall.com/opinion/columns/anncoulter/2001/01/01/167055.html">President Clinton's Kwanzaa greeting</a>; now it references Bush's nearly identical greeting) .<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/Ann_Coulter_TimeMagazine.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/200/Ann_Coulter_TimeMagazine.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Good ol' Coulter is a funny writer. Witty. And she can be so lambastic, I often wonder if she's not a liberal secret agent determined to make the right look bad by proclaiming herself conservative while acting like a nut. (A brief aside: I was hoping that I'd just coined the term "lambastic" -- a combination of bombastic and lambast -- but it looks like this word is used frequently all over the Internet. Everywhere but in dictionaries, that is.)<br /><br />For instance, I'm a far-left liberal. A socialist with certain libertarian leanings and a Green-party voting record. I live in NYC and work in the media and arts. And I don't have anything to do with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kwanzaa">Kwanzaa</a> on a regular basis. <span style="font-weight: bold;">So why does Coulter say this is "a holiday for white liberals, not blacks"? </span>Who are these mythical liberals that the wide-eyed Republicans are always blathering on about?<br /><br />Look, I'll admit this: The facts the author presents are little known by many, and thus should be discussed; she compiles the information nicely; and I love a good FBI conspiracy theory as much as Ann Coulter does.<br /><br />But here's the rub: Although I'm not anti-Kwanzaa and I'm on the opposite side of the political spectrum from Coulter, I coulda written this very same article and would have had many of the same things to say (if I was in a cynical, paranoid, conspiracy-minded, "the FBI and CIA are behind everything" mood, which isn't rare, exactly).<br /><br />The only difference in <span style="font-style: italic;">how </span>I'd have written the piece is that I wouldn't have kept haphazardly throwing the blame on so-called liberals every three paragraphs. But I guess that's why Ann Coulter makes the big bucks: she can twist any topic into a liberal vs. conservative showdown. It's like butter on steak: it may not be healthy, but it just tastes so much better.<br /><br />But wait.... Coulter keeps mentioning George W. Bush over and over again. She never says anything bad about him. And yet, I do believe she's implying he's part of the liberal conspiracy, isn't she? I quote: "Bush called Kwanzaa a holiday that promotes 'unity' and 'faith.' Faith in what? Liberals' unbounded capacity to respect any faith but Christianity?"<br /><br />Yeah, that's right, she just took a statement made by Ye Conservative Republican Christian Leader G.W. Bush and, without taking a breath or a pause, <a href="http://www.townhall.com/opinion/columns/anncoulter/2005/12/28/180605.html">twisted his words</a> into a slap down of liberals, with the undeniable implication that Bush is the liberal getting slapped. Did you notice? What about when she called Bush's own words "patently absurd." Can she talk about a president like that?<br /><br />Let's break it down and look at the actual Kwanzaa statement by Bush (an annual bromide that has been more or less the same for years now), and then put Coulter 's reply in context. Pretend this is a dialogue (the quotes are <a href="http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2005/12/20051219-6.html">all real</a>, but edited):<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bush:</span> "I send greetings to those observing Kwanzaa.... The seven days of this celebration emphasize the seven principles of Nguzo Saba -- unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith. As families and friends gather for Kwanzaa, Americans remember the many contributions African Americans have made to our country's character and celebrate the diversity that makes our Nation strong. May your commitment to family, faith, and community thrive during this holiday season and throughout the coming year. Laura and I send our best wishes for a happy Kwanzaa."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Coulter: </span>"With his Kwanzaa greetings, [the president] is saluting the intellectual sibling of the Symbionese Liberation Army, killer of housewives and police. He is saluting the founder of United Slaves, who were such lunatics that they shot Panthers for not being sufficiently insane -- all with the FBI as their covert ally.... Faith in what? Liberals' unbounded capacity to respect any faith but Christianity?"<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Brachish:</span> "Now, Ann, that wasn't a liberal that just gave his blessing to Kwanzaa. That wasn't a Kennedy or a Clinton. That was George W. Bush a.k.a. Bush Jr. a.k.a. Bush II a.k.a. Nixon-Reagan-Lite. Be polite to yer captain, lady. You're not mad just because you heard that George's brother -- Gov. Jeb, the Republican hoped-for heir to the 2012 presidency -- believes in evolution, are ya?"<br /><br />Anyway, it's good to know that Ann Coulter and her conservative Republican talk-show ilk are up in arms about a little-respected, marginalized holiday that was invented in the time of tie-dye.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/070605benson338Comic_Bush_Coulter.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/070605benson338Comic_Bush_Coulter.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>For a while there I was worried that they might be getting bored with the nearly 25 years of Executive Branch power the Republicans have held since the 1970s -- so bored that they might start worrying about the massive deficit the Republicans have dug our country into, the unimpressive stock market, the stumbling U.S. businesses, the corrupt corporate leaders ("conservatives" one and all), or the war that's brought us neither safety nor profit (well, if you happen to have connections to the Texas oil industry you're up to your armpits in high-priced domestic oil money, thanks to our Mid East wars driving up Texas oil prices just like they always have and always will; but that's another story, one that certainly has nothing to do with Bush and Cheney's many domestic oil friends).<br /><br />But no, there's no reason to worry about those things. Not when we can still bash the liberals for, uh, threatening to bring health care to both the rich and poor. Damn liberals. They so crazy.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1133991038073293632005-12-07T16:28:00.000-05:002006-01-02T13:25:21.136-05:00Geeking Out on Graphic Art, Sidling Up to Sci-Fi<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/MonkStyle1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/MonkStyle1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I just stumbled across <span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://monkstyle.net/">MonkStyle.net</a></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">,</span> the website of Aaron Booth, a Sydney, Australia-based web designer that was trained as an illustrator at Joe Kubert's renowned World of Cartooning (NYC). In addition to the expected ranting and comic book musings, his blog contains links to his eye-catching drawings and photographs.<br /><br />Some of the art is suprisingly amateurish considering his training (not bad, just a little flat) -- but a great deal of the newer material is staggeringly good, especially his Flash/Illustrator work that transforms mundane photogaphs into vector images that rival the best comic book artistry I've ever seen (and I've seen oodles, let me tell ya).<br /><br />Booth (aka Dr. Snafu) is particularly apt at capturing a sense of emotion in the silent pauses and glimmering eyes of his portraits. If he can sustain this level of quality over the course of sequential panels and action sequences -- and mix in some delicious backgrounds -- then illustration wunderkinds such as <a href="http://middletonfan.free.fr/main.html">Josh Middleton</a> and <a href="http://www.johncassaday.com/gallery.htm">John Cassaday</a> will have a run for their pencils. Do yourself a favor and visit his <a href="http://monkstyle.net/?page_id=169">site</a> for more sumptuous visuals. Or go directly to his <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/boothy/sets/134852/">Flickr gallery</a>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/MonkStyle3.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/MonkStyle3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/MonkStyle2.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/MonkStyle2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >(The images above are <a href="http://monkstyle.net/?page_id=168">copyright Dr. Snafu</a>; the other images on this page are copyright their respective owners.)</span><br /><br />***<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/StarTrek_NewVoyages_Spot_Illo_6_R02.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/StarTrek_NewVoyages_Spot_Illo_6_R02.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>As recently hyped by Wired magazine, <span style="font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.newvoyages.com/">Star Trek: New Voyages</a></span> will be releasing a new <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek</span> episode soon. This one staring <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000479/">Walter Koenig</a>, the original Lt. Pavel Chekov. It's amateur fan-boy TV-show freak-out time, as the New Voyage kids finally have one of the real Star Trek actors acting alongside their hazy facsimile versions of Kirk, Spock, and crew.<br /><br />***<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/BarefootGen_bomb.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/BarefootGen_bomb.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I finally got around to reading the first volume of Keiji Nakazawa's <span style="font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.theblackmoon.com/BarefootGen/bomb.html"><span style="font-style: italic;">Barefoot Gen: A Cartoon Story of Hiroshima</span></a></span>, which was excellent.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/DavidBoringCover.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/DavidBoringCover.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Jason Lute's sublime <span style="font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.readyourselfraw.com/profiles/lutes/profile_lutes.htm"><span style="font-style: italic;">Jar of Fools: A Picture Story</span></a></span> and Dan "Ghost World" Clowes' suprising, twisting <span style="font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.randomhouse.com/pantheon/graphicnovels/boring.html"><span style="font-style: italic;">David Boring</span></a> </span>were also mind-blowingly superb. And Kyle Baker's <a href="http://newsarama.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4442"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Plastic Man: On the Lam!</span></a> was a wacky, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=celebritycola-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=1789&creative=9325&path=external-search%3Fsearch-type=ss%26keyword=plastic%20man%26index=books">Plaztastic</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" />, double-entendre filled surprise.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/DoctorBlasphemy_Maximortal2.1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/DoctorBlasphemy_Maximortal2.2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>However, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Veitch">Rick Veitch</a>'s <span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://features.icomix.com/letter/archives/2003/07/wormhole_wednes.php"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Maximortal</span></a> </span>and <a href="http://www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com/reviews/105579773610469.htm"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Brat Pack</span></a> graphic novels (the first two volumes of the as yet uncompleted <a href="http://www.comicon.com/veitch/heroica.htm">King Hell Heroica</a> five-part series) were not as mesmerizing as I'd hoped. Interesting, provocative, gross-out funny, and weird, yes. But not the best revisionist superhero epic in the galaxy (Veitch has had his hand in quite a few classics over the years, notably as an artist, but his solo works never quite reach the pinnacle of such superhero reimaginings as <span style="font-style: italic;">Planetary, the Invisibles, Watchmen, <a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/09/what-makes-brachish-run.html">X-Statix</a>, Miracle Man, Sandman,</span> the best of <a href="http://www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com/reviews/109191133943512.htm">Frank Miller</a> and Alan Moore, even such oddities as <span style="font-style: italic;">American Flagg, Nexus, Zot!, Madman, </span><span style="font-style: italic;"> <a href="http://www.weisshahn.de/concrete/">Concrete</a></span><span style="font-style: italic;">,</span> <a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/09/wicked-dreams-of-paula-schultz-frank.html">etcetera</a>, etcetera). <a href="http://www.simpleweblog.com/comics/addreviews/reviews_archive_050303.php"><span style="font-style: italic;">Brat Pack</span></a> does offer lush black-white-and-grey artwork, the creepiest interpretation of Batman & Robin you'll ever read, the iconic/archetypal <a href="http://features.icomix.com/letter/archives/2003/11/red_rick_veitch.php">Doctor Blasphemy</a> (one of the most memorable-looking comic creations ever), and the catchy tagline, "Live fast, love hard, die with your mask on."<br /><br />And storywise <span style="font-style: italic;">Maximortal </span>and <span style="font-style: italic;">Brat Pack</span> tie together nicely while also seemingly forming the backdrop for exciting things to come. But overall the scripting can feel a bit hamhanded and rushed, wallowing in its own dirty jokes and contrivances while never living up to the best ideas and images presented. <a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=celebritycola-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=1789&creative=9325&path=external-search%3Fsearch-type=ss%26keyword=maximortal%26index=books">Maximortal</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important; font-style: italic;" border="0" height="1" width="1" />, especially, substitues too much philosophy and psychedelia for action and plot. Perhaps <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=celebritycola-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=1789&creative=9325&path=external-search%3Fsearch-type=ss%26keyword=Rick%20Veitch%20%26index=books">Veitch</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /> will pull it all together if he ever gets around to completing his Heroica cycle, but in it's current shape it's a rough (but often rousing) beast best suited only for the <a href="http://www.comics.org/">hardcore comics fan</a>.<br /><br />***<br /><br />Designer Mark Wasserman is <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.plinko.com/">Plinko</a><span style="font-weight: bold;">.</span> Plinko is cool. And <a href="http://www.babybushtoys.com/">funny</a>.<br /><br />Also worth a look is <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://xrayspex.blogspot.com/">X-Ray Spex</a>, the blog of comics writer/newspaper man <a href="http://www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com/features/98780284721749.htm">Will Pfeifer</a>, "Promising penetrating insight, delivering cheap cardboard glasses"<br /><br />***<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/snowglassapples_gaiman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/snowglassapples_gaiman.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />The Sci Fi Channel's online <span style="font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.scifi.com/set/">Seeing Ear Theatre</a> </span>has some great new radio-style audio dramas up, like Bebe Neuwirth reading the part of the Queen in Neil "Sandman" Gaiman's <span style="font-style: italic;">Snow Glass Apples</span>.<br /><br />And <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://fourcolorheroes.home.insightbb.com/free.html">4ColorHeroes</a> offers a ton of links to free, super-rare Alan "Watchmen" Moore online goodies, including lost comics, scripts, MP3s, interviews, prose, and essays.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1133856560408663122005-12-06T01:17:00.000-05:002005-12-25T07:05:23.206-05:00Reprogramming ScienceRather brilliant <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pommy#Pommy">Pommy</a> scientist <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Wolfram">Stephen Wolfram</a> published <span style="font-size:130%;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=celebritycola-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=1789&creative=9325&path=external-search%3Fsearch-type=ss%26keyword=A%20New%20Kind%20of%20Science%26index=books">A New Kind of Science (NKS)</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /></span> back in 2002 to much controversy and acclaim (<a href="http://www.wolframscience.com/nksonline/toc.html">the text is available online for free</a>). The book shows how simple programs (i.e., sets of instructions underlying biological, computer, physical, and social systems) can produce complex results, and suggests that programs, therefore, can answer questions that traditional mathematics and science cannot.<br /><br />The concepts can be hard to digest all in one swallow, but the gist is this: math and science wonks like to tackle a particular part of a problem and then reduce it to a very specific formula (say, E=mc²); while computer programmers tend to write very complicated code so that their programs can do relatively simple but specific tasks (like the thousands of lines of coding needed to create a word processing program so you can type up a sentence like this one). But if you write a very simple and general piece of code that doesn't create something very specific, but instead is designed to generate a lot of variations, then the results can be astoundingly complex. This in turn raises the argument that a simple program is a more powerful tool than a simple formula in terms of reducing the math and science of life to its fundamental roots.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/a_new_kind_of_science_book.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/a_new_kind_of_science_book.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The need for traditional mathematics and science still exists, and conventional formulas might be used within the programs themselves, but what is radical about Wolfram’s thinking is that neither creating a super-complex program or searching for the ultimate, compact mathematical formula is going to solve every problem. Instead, thinking in terms of simple programs and the complex results that can result from running those programs over a long period of time might lead to answers otherwise unattainable.<br /><br />So while biological scientists have been able to figure out that the make up of all forms of known life can be traced back to what is currently called DNA, and the scientists continue to crack the puzzle of various DNA combinations, in the end no simple formula may ever explain how all of the possible DNA combinations relate to each other; but a program, using known DNA code as it’s base variables, could be written that would generate all DNA combinations, and thus help show us the likelihood of, say, a human developing from the muck instead of a dolphin.<br /><br />For instance, a formula like <a href="http://www.aip.org/history/einstein/emc1.htm">E=mc²</a> alone will never explain how a turtle evolved from a microbe, but a program could (theoretically) be written to trace the evolutionary development of the turtle's DNA while also generating the thousands of other possibilities of organisms that might have developed under different circumstances.<br /><br />Anti-evolutionists that have evolved from simple creationist dogma on to Intelligent Design theory hold forth that Darwin's theory of evolution cannot explain the complexity of the creatures that now exist (especially man), so therefore a "watchmaker" (God) must have designed the basic templates. Wolfram's concept, however, shows that very simple programming code could generate all manner of results. Combine Wolfram's concepts with modern DNA studies and Darwin's concept of survival of the fittest and a more defendable view of evolution begins to emerge.<br /><br />Wolfram sees his theories as being the “new math”—a math that may one day be used to explain the underlying processes that drive biological, social, and physical systems. Life, the universe, the stock market, music, art, sex, <a href="http://tones.wolfram.com/">cellphone ringtones</a>, etc.: All traceable back to the results derived from instructions (a.k.a. programs) generating all variations of repeatable processes and formulas under a confined set of conditions.<br /><br />Of course, that’s just my own, highly inflammable, arguably off-the-mark interpretation of his theories. Look into it for yourself and discover the controversy and insight of Wolfram and his contemporaries (and try not to get distracted by all the claims of plagiarism and "I discovered that first" battles flying back and forth between all these modern thinkers, including Wolfram, that are ready to claim a seat of glory next to <a href="http://education.guardian.co.uk/higher/sciences/story/0,12243,1383732,00.html">Einstein</a>, <a href="http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/history/aristotle.html">Aristotle,</a> <a href="http://www.isaac-newton.org/">Newton</a>, et al.)<br /><br />***<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Related Post:</span> <a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/02/apocalyptic-battle-between-science.html">"The Apocalyptic Battle Between Science, Religion, Republicans, the Environment, and Those Dreaded Neo-Hippies"</a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/arrow.gif"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/arrow.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Not Related Post:</span> <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.brianmpalmer.com/">Brian M. Palmer</a> likes indie music, comics, comedy, and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0367279/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Arrested Development</span></a> (AD). Thus, he is a good guy. Check out his <a href="http://www.brianmpalmer.com/michaelcera.htm">exclusive</a> and <a href="http://www.brianmpalmer.com/davidcross.htm">amusing</a> interviews with <a href="http://www.brianmpalmer.com/aliashawkat.htm">various</a> AD cast members.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Use It:</span> <a href="http://www.spacecoastweb.org/blog/2005.12.18_arch.html#1135226584695">David Harper</a> recommends <a href="http://www.sequencepublishing.com/thesage.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">TheSage</span></a>, a stupendous Dictionary-Thesaurus freeware program that trumps most related software I've seen, including some of the better <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/">dictionary websites</a> and expensive stand-alone programs. Looking at the results, examples, and cross-references TheSage generates, the word "exhaustive" comes to mind -- although it's certainly not exhausting to use.<br /><br />I also like the more simplistic, fast-loading <a href="http://wordweb.info/free/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">WordWeb</span></a> shareware program-- a powerful, international Dictionary-Thesaurus that you can set up to always run in the background (it doesn't use up much of your computer's resources): Highlight any word in any program and then click ctrl-W and boom!, WordWeb pops up with the definition, correct spelling, related words, etc. I use WordWeb all the time, at home and at work.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1130714070528151122005-10-30T17:26:00.000-05:002005-10-31T02:25:32.786-05:00Corporate GovernanceMost of both houses of Congress, and possibly a majority of high-level politicians these days (especially <a href="http://www.whitehouse.org/">G.W. Bush and Co.</a>), all seem to operate American affairs the way executives operate global businesses. Which isn't surprising, since so many politicians come from business and law backgrounds, scores having worked as CEOs or for corporate lobbyists and the like. The problem, though, is that modern business has become extremely top-heavy, eagerly rewarding everyone of the executive class regardless of how much work they're doing on a daily basis or how much they're truly contributing to the company overall. And thus that same attitude has crept into <a href="http://www.villagevoice.com/blogs/bushbeat/archive/000232.php">government thinking</a>.<br /><br />Yes, good management can do great things for a company, as can a CEO with vision and passion. But real day-to-day operations are successful based on good middle -management and the quality of the staff beneath them. While executive-level management spends 90% of their time taking meetings where ideas are discussed but nothing is accomplished, and then they all give themselves raises.<br /><br />Sound familiar? Think it’s just an urban myth? Well, that's the U.S. government for you. And it's <a href="http://www.halliburtonwatch.org/">Halliburton</a>, GM, and every other corporate business and big-city bureaucracy in the country.<br /><br />Case in point:<br /><br />When Delphi Corp. started <a href="http://quote.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=10000006&sid=awo4TmP3FPIE&refer=home">considering bankruptcy</a> as part of it's efforts to slash auto-worker pay in half and remove benefits from retired employees, they immediately commenced a flurry of meetings, in which the executives decided that, well, all of the executives in the company weren't getting <a href="http://www.detnews.com/2005/autosinsider/0506/27/autos-227318.htm">paid</a> enough. Also, if any executives were fired, it was reasonable to assume that they should be <a href="http://www.freep.com/money/autonews/delphi-bar18e_20051008.htm">healthily compensated</a> with at least <a href="http://www.nathannewman.org/laborblog/archive/003456.shtml">six months of pay</a> and a <a href="http://www.freep.com/news/latestnews/pm6516_20051007.htm">partial bonus</a>. So for the sake of staying competitive in the market place, maintaining quality, and retaining the best workforce possible, the day-to-day laborers and bottom-level management types would have their salaries drastically reduced, <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9643995/">while the executives would have theirs raised</a>. What kind of logic is that?<br /><br />Of course, many people <a href="http://www.freep.com/voices/letters/edelphi11e_20051011.htm">cried foul</a> and Delphi Corp. had to <a href="http://www.smartmoney.com/bn/ON/index.cfm?story=ON-20051017-000348-0904">backpedal</a> some. But the fact remains that even after all of the corporate greed and corruption uncovered in the aftermath of the entire 1980s and then, more recently, Enron and its spiritual brethren, companies such as Delphi Corp. will still happily, publicly, boldly, blatantly try to pull off schemes such this where <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://money.cnn.com/2003/06/26/pf/taxes/wealth/">the money of the masses is transferred to the pockets of few</a>.<br /><br />’Tis not surprising then, that Congress continues to give itself raises and increased health and retirement benefits while also turning down opportunities to bring better health, retirement, and education benefits to the general public. Will a senator or representative a give themselves a raise? Sure. And more power too ’em. But will they raise the minium wage by a buck? <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://jrkinnard.blogspot.com/2005/10/republicans-screw-working-managain.html">Nahhhhhhh....</a><br /><br />***<br /><br /><b>Word of the day</b>: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manichaeism">Manichaeism</a>, a philosophy that centers around the concept of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dualism">dualism</a> (good vs. evil, light vs. dark, yin vs. yang). The ancient religious form of <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=Manichaeism">Manichaeism</a> combines Zoroastrian, Christian, and Gnostic beliefs and elements with Babylonian folklore and Buddhist ethics. Also see: <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=Manichaean">Manichaean</a>. Wild stuff.<br /><br /><b>Comic creator of the hour</b>: <a href="http://www.drawnandquarterly.com/artStudio.php?artist=a3dff7dd51fc01">Chester Brown</a>, <a href="http://www.lambiek.net/brown.htm">writer-artist</a> of "The Playboy," "I Never Liked You," "Ed the Happy Clown," "Underwater," <a href="http://newsarama.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=7360">"Louis Riel: A Comic-Strip Biography,"</a> etc.<br /><br /><b>Site of the minute</b>: <a href="http://tcj.com/dogsbody/">Dogsbody</a>, TCJ reviews of art/indie comics, including archived reviews by good ol' NYC-Florida writer Daniel Holloway.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1129573335512564492005-10-17T14:05:00.000-04:002005-12-14T17:11:01.943-05:00Ms. Hollywood Science, I'd Like You to Meet Mr. Government Bureaucracy...I just read a blurb in <a href="http://www.premiere.com/">Premiere magazine</a> noting that the U.S. government is offering <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/screenwriting" rel="tag">screenwriting</a> grants to scientists, in the hopes of sexing up the science industry and recruiting today’s youth into such disciplines as nuclear physics, genetic modification, and other serious realms of scientific study that videogame playing, reality-TV watching, celeb-mag reading Americans are running away from in droves.<br /><br />But after searching the <a href="http://www.grants.gov/">Grants.gov</a> and <a href="http://www.science.doe.gov/grants/">U.S. Department of Energy Office of Science</a> grant databases, I was unable to unearth greater details or a grant application. However, a Google search did yield <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/04/movies/04flyb.html?ex=1280808000&en=335c207d878bc851&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss">“Pentagon's New Goal: Put Science Into Scripts,”</a> a related <span style="font-style: italic;">New York Times</span> article by David M. Halbfinger:<br /><br /><blockquote>LOS ANGELES, Aug. 3, 2005 - Tucked away in the Hollywood hills, an elite group of scientists from across the country and from a grab bag of disciplines - rocket science, nanotechnology, genetics, even veterinary medicine - has gathered this week to plot a solution to what officials call one of the nation's most vexing long-term national security problems.<br /><br />Their work is being financed by the Air Force and the Army, but the Manhattan Project it ain't: the 15 scientists are being taught how to write and sell screenplays ... Exactly how the national defense could be bolstered by setting a few more people loose in Los Angeles with screenplays to peddle may be a bit of a brainteaser. But officials at the Air Force Office of Scientific Research spell out a straightforward syllogism:<br /><br />Fewer and fewer students are pursuing science and engineering. While immigrants are taking up the slack in many areas, defense laboratories and industries generally require American citizenship or permanent residency. So a crisis is looming, unless careers in science and engineering suddenly become hugely popular, said Robert J. Barker, an Air Force program manager who approved the grant. And what better way to get a lot of young people interested in science than by producing movies and television shows that depict scientists in flattering ways?<br /><br />... Teaching screenwriting to scientists was the brainstorm of Martin Gundersen, a professor of electrical engineering at the University of Southern California and sometime Hollywood technical adviser, whose biggest brush with stardom was bringing a little verisimilitude to Val Kilmer's lasers in the 1985 comedy "Real Genius."<br /><br />More recently, he was asked to review screenplays by the <a href="http://www.sloan.org/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sloan Foundation</span></a>, which awards prizes for scientific accuracy, and found most to be "pretty dismal," as he put it. "My thought was, since scientists have to write so much, for technical journals and papers, why not consider them as a creative source?" Dr. Gundersen said.... The Air Force is providing $100,000 annually for three years; the Army Research Office has added $50,000 this year....<br /><br />Dr. Gundersen, meanwhile, offered Valerie Weiss, a participant in the 2004 workshop, as a potential success story. A film buff at Harvard while she was getting her Ph.D. in biophysics, Ms. Weiss switched careers to film four years ago and is now trying to sell a comedy built around a Bridget Jones-like biochemist who applies the scientific method to her hunt for a mate.<br /><br />She said she hoped her background would give her film the kind of personal touch that Nia Vardalos brought to "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" as a Greek-American. <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/04/movies/04flyb.html?pagewanted=2&ei=5090&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;en=335c207d878bc851&ex=1280808000&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss">"To write a film that is going to have impact like that, it needs to be from somebody that has direct experience,"</a> she said.<br /><br />Ms. Weiss said Dr. Gundersen's notion that scientists could make good screenwriters stood the test of reason.<br /><br />"They're inherently creative, and willing to take more risks than other people," she said. "They're searching for the unknown, they're compensated very minimally, they're going on blind faith that what they're searching for is going to pay off. And filmmaking is exactly the same way."</blockquote><br />I’d like to argue that a good <a href="http://www.wga.org/craft/">screenwriter</a>—or a good writer of any sort—can write a great story without having the “direct experience” that Valerie Weiss claims is required. Also, Nia Vardalos’ "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," although highly profitable and occasionally funny and touching, is not a masterwork example of impact-laden cinema. It’s a goofy little comedy.<br /><br />Writers need to do their homework: reading, research, interviews, and endless imagining. But you don’t have to be a female Harvard science PhD to write a dating comedy about a female science PhD. The education, skills, and experiences of a writer will likely culminate in a better story than a “direct experience” person throwing ideas down on paper. “Direct experience” does pay off with memoir writing, but for romantic comedies and action thrillers? Not so much.<br /><br />Novelists such as <a href="http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/lecarre.htm">John Le Carré</a> (aka David Cornwell) are the rare exception. Le Carré, a former spy that writes spy thrillers (“The Spy Who Came In From The Cold,” “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy,” etc.), is probably a better fiction scribe than actual espionage mastermind. And there are others in this vein. Scientists, soldiers, construction workers—great writers come from a variety of backgrounds and day jobs. But the work of a great writer is not limited by his or her past.<br /><br />The U.S. government should try offering <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/grant" rel="tag">grants</a> to<span style="font-style: italic;"> all</span> writers—not just scientists—encouraging them to write exciting, scientifically accurate science-themed screenplays. And more importantly, programs such as this should help writers find scientists that they can rely on for fact checking and research. Maybe even co-writing.<br /><br />Imagine that: The federal government hooking up writers and scientists to work <span style="font-style: italic;">together</span> on new projects. Scientists helping writers flesh out their screenplays while writers help recruit today’s kids into the world of hard science. Scientists correcting writers when they lose track of facts, and writers smoothing out the story arcs and dialogue of the microscope gazers and number crunchers.<br /><br />That would be a worthy program. But ignoring writers while funding scientists to take a break from science so they can learn how to write? That’s nothing more than a study in <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=entropy">entropy</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thanatology">thanatology</a>. We might as well start paying screenwriters to design cloning technology in their spare time...<br /><br />***<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Speaking of Scientists:</span> "Life is an anti-climax for some but for most of us it adds up to 16 hours of orgasmic pleasure. Researchers in Germany have calculated that is the number of hours that the average person spends enjoying orgasms during his or her lifetime.... and people spend six weeks doing nothing but playing during childhood, will watch television for a staggering five-and-a-half years ... spend seven years doing nothing but working ... [and] 24 years and four months in the land of nod." <i>-- Allan Hall, <a href="http://www.theage.com.au/news/world/youve-got-it-coming/2005/10/17/1129401201859.html">"You've got it coming: all 16 hours of it,"</a> The Age (Victoria, Australia).</i><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Talkin' 'bout Filmmakers:</span> writer-producer-director <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0031976/">Judd Apatow</a> gets focused in an <a href="http://www.infocusmag.com/05december/apatowuncut.htm">all-out interview conducted by Mike Russell</a>. (Apatow's one of the the new comedy masterminds behind “The Ben Stiller Show,” “Freaks and Geeks,” “Undeclared,” “The Larry Sanders Show,” “The Cable Guy,” “Anchorman,” “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” “Fun with Dick and Jane.”) <a href="http://www.infocusmag.com/05december/apatowuncut.htm">Read on...</a>Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1128723761182945702005-10-07T18:15:00.000-04:002005-10-07T18:24:41.770-04:00What's PR Got to Do With It?<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PR">"PR"</a> can mean a number things.<br /><br />Typically, a PR (press release) is any news item that’s distributed by a company, concerned party, or publicist and is not actually written by, originated by, or researched by a real reporter and editor. Some companies keep their <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_relations">PR (public relations) division</a> in house, but for bigger events they usually hire a big PR firm. The publicists and marketing geniuses (spawns of Satan) then try to get the word out about the company/event to the public. The PR (public relations) people do this by sending out PR (press releases) to everyone and their mother, with special emphasis on hounding the media.<br /><br />In the normal media world, three things happen when a magazine/newspaper/TV reporter or news editor receives a piece of PR: (1) If they are wise, they throw it in the trash; (2) If they are not too lazy, they try to figure out whether or not there is actually anything newsworthy buried inside the flack-written fluff that is the basis of every PR; (3) If they are a regular, good ol' jurno hack, they try to figure out if they will be able to get any cool interviews or free electronics or movie/concert tickets or stock options or sex out of the publicist if they cover the “news” found in the PR; (4) The reporter/editor will research and verify (or contest) the info in the PR and then begin writing a story based upon the PR, bringing in outside research and doing interviews with people and trying to find the truth, unless they're FOX News or very drunk, in which case they'll just report the PR as fact or plagiarize it verbatim.<br /><br />However, in the world of stocks, PRs are released directly onto newswires and are then avidly devoured by the public without ever being touched by reporters or editors, so anyone following the stock PR wires needs to do their own extensive DD (due diligence) to figure out what is really relevant and what is bullshit. With many PR wires, the company that wants to issue a news release just has to pay the wire service a fee, and then, bingo-presto, it’s posted online.<br /><br />At the same time, the company in question and their publicity team may not actually be behind the PRs you see -- it could be the MMs (market makers) that have hired a PR team to release publicity items to help make the stock go up or down. Typically, stock-related PR found on the legitimate <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newswire">news wires</a> will not be lies, per se, since people could get in trouble for distributing completely false information, but the info will likely be manipulated to the furthest extent the law allows, to help whatever party is releasing or paying for the PR.<br /><br />But since the general media doesn't pay much attention to all the penny stocks out there, penny traders have to rely on PR to a great degree. And the PR, in turn, affects what the stock media reports on, what the stock bulletin boards talk about, and what the stock gurus recommend. And many of the stock-news services that release info on the wires and distribute info through newsletters and websites and spam are glorified PR firms in their own right – they’re paid (with money and/or stock) to recommend the stock they’re flaunting. Nonetheless, even when PR is mostly BS, it can still affect the PPS (price per share) or <a href="http://stocks.about.com/od/evaluatingstocks/a/ps.htm">P/S (market cap divided by revenues, or stock price divided by sales price per share)</a> and is rarely bad new (which is kept strictly on the <a href="http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-ont2.htm">QT</a>). But you can use PR to your advantage if you’re on top of the news.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1128548618076526792005-10-05T17:25:00.000-04:002005-10-07T18:35:02.193-04:00Penny Stocks Part 2: Bollinger is Not a Rock Band<i><b>Question:</b> Swing trades, day trades, long-term investments. Exchange-Traded Funds (ETFs). NASDAQ, NYSE, AMEX, Pink sheets, and Over the Counter Bulletin Board (OTC BB) trades. Is it business or gambling? Can the small guy ever really win, or is the system rigged against the masses?</i><br /><br />As part of my continuing attempt to find unique and insightful <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/stock+market" rel="tag">stock-market</a> trading advice -- especially in the volatile world of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penny_stock">penny stocks</a> and <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/micro+penny+stocks" rel="tag">micro-penny stocks</a> -- I now present to you another post from the mighty <a href="http://www.allstocks.com/stockmessageboard/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi/ubb/get_profile/u/00004708.html">Ric</a> at the discussion thread <a href="http://www.allstocks.com/stockmessageboard/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi/ubb/get_topic/f/14/t/001085/p/1.html?">“So how do I make money then?”</a> at the Allstocks.com’s Bulletin Board.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><b>Things you need to know</b></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">By Ric.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Best two pieces of advice for pennies:</span><br /><br />1) Don't let people convince you that a penny is a long hold. You will get burnt. Buy low, sell high, and never look back.<br /><br />2) <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Due_dilligence">Due Diligence</a>.<br /><br />Two things that you must learn about charts immediately are <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relative_strength_index">RSI</a> (the relative strength index) and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bollinger_bands">Bollinger Bands</a>. They are so important. Now there is so much you can learn in charts that will help you make choices but I consider the above the most important things to learn for any investors. RSI will let you know if there is buying pressure or selling pressure. It will also confirm a run. Bollinger Bands also show price pressures and are used to support other indicators. There are links below under TA for education on understanding charts.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><b>Relative Strength Index</b></span><br /><br /><b>Definition: </b><br /><br />Relative Strength Index (RSI), an oscillator introduced by J. Welles Wilder, Jr., could be more appropriately called the internal strength index, for it compares the price of a security relative to itself. The RSI is based upon the difference between the average of the closing price on up days vs. the average closing price on the down days over a given period, and is plotted on a vertical scale of 0 to 100. An oscillator refers to a momentum or rate-of-change indicator that is usually valued from -1 to +1 or 0% to %100.<br /><br />Wilder advocated a 14-day RSI, although shorter and longer periods have gained popularity when the market exhibits certain characteristics. Generally, RSI is measured in a period between 5 and 25.<br /><br /><b>Interpretation: </b><br /><br />There are several possible interpretations for the Relative Strength Index, any of which can be very powerful depending on the market conditions and trading/investment approach: One interpretation is that buy signals are triggered when RSI is in oversold (20-30) area, potentially meaning that the stock is about to reach its low for this trend, and sell signals are triggered when RSI is in overbought (70-80) area, potentially signaling a market top.<br /><br />A second mode of interpretation is to look for support and resistance lines or common chart formations such as head and shoulders in the RSI itself, indicating potential reversals that the stock chart may not.<br /><br />A third mode of interpretation is to recognize divergences in the RSI, such as when the price is moving up when the RSI is moving down or vice versa. This can mean that the price is going to "correct" and move in the direction of the RSI.<br /><br />A fourth mode of interpretation for the RSI is to view it as a bullish or bearish signal when it crosses 50. When the RSI crosses above 50 it can be considered bullish, and when it crosses below 50 it can be considered bearish.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><b>Bollinger Bands</b></span><br /><br /><b>Definition: </b><br /><br />Investors use trading bands, lines drawn above and below the moving average, to isolate a range of prices for a given security, based on the concept that a stock generally trades within a predictable range on either side of the moving average. When a stock is near the upper or lower limits of the trading bands is when an investor should pay closest attention, according to conventional wisdom.<br /><br />Bollinger Bands are considered some of the most useful bands in technical analysis, for they vary in distance from the moving average of a security's price based on the security's volatility. During periods of increased fluctuation, the bands widen to take this into account, and when the fluctuation decreases, the bands are tapered for a narrower focus to the price range. The upper band is the standard deviation multiplied by a given factor above the simple moving average, and the lower band is the standard deviation multiplied by the same given factor below the simple moving average.<br /><br /><b>Interpretation: </b><br /><br />The standard interpretation is that Bollinger Bands do not give absolute buy and sell signals, but instead indicate whether the price is relatively high or low, allowing for more informed confirmation with other technical indicators.<br /><br />Bollinger Bands are typically drawn two standard deviations from a twenty day simple moving average for intermediate-term analysis, ten day for short term with 1.5 standard deviations, and fifty for long-term studies with 2.5 standard deviations. According to John Bollinger, for the most accurate average "choose one that provides support to the correction of the first move up off a bottom. If the average is penetrated by the correction, then the average is too short. If, in turn, the correction falls short of the average, then the average is too long. An average that is correctly chosen will provide support far more often than it is broken."<br /><br />Mr. Bollinger also contends that:<br /><br />Sharp moves tend to occur after the bands tighten to the average, when a stock is less volatile. The greater the period of less volatility, the higher the propensity for a price breakout.<br /><br />When the price hits the upper or lower bands, it is suggested to confirm with other indicators whether that price movement shows strength or weakness, respectively, which could indicate a continuation. If indicators do not confirm this movement, it can suggest a reversal.<br /><br />Tops or bottoms made outside the bands, followed by the same inside the bands, indicate a trend reversal.<br /><br />A move originating at one band tends to go to the other band.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><b>Resources for IQCharts & DD for otcbb and pinksheets</b></span><br /><br />Try these two DD tools to be quick and good with your facts. At pinksheets in a matter of seconds under Company Info I can give you o/s, any r/s, company name changes, or planned changes and more. Quotetracker is a program you install on your computer. I wouldn't survive without it in a quick paced market. Tons of TA and FA with dd. Shoot pinksheets is my homepage on Firefox browser for quick reference. This is the first two places I go for fast due diligence.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.pinksheets.com/" target="_blank">www.pinksheets.com</a> {Company Info tab is loaded with information} {SEC Filing Tab - wow} {News Tab - Pr's at your finger tips}<br /><br /><a href="http://www.quotetracker.com/" target="_blank">www.quotetracker.com</a> - after you set it up add a symbol quickly then charts, news, research, and raw data at your finger tips. Great charts.<br /><br />DD is mainly knowing where to go.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><b>FA – Fundamental Analysis</b></span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.pinksheets.com/" target="_blank">www.pinksheets.com</a> - first place to look!!!! Go to Company info for o/s. r/s, name changes, and many other facts. Go to SEC tab to look for filings. News tabs for latest news that may not show up through normal wire service.<br /><br />www2.barchart.com - after you enter stock symbol select opinion to see trend spotter<br /><br /><a href="http://www.otcbbtrader.com/" target="_blank">www.otcbbtrader.com</a> – otcbb loser/winner by volume, price, shares, transaction, and more<br /><br /><a href="http://www.otcbbtrader.com/portal/n_letter/gen/Microcap_Recap_Report.html" target="_blank">www.otcbbtrader.com/portal/n_letter/ gen/Microcap_Recap_Report.html</a> - otcbb market recap on otcbb and pinksheet market for the day<br /><br /><a href="http://tinyurl.com/9s2wr" target="_blank">tinyurl.com/9s2wr</a> - DD site that is great.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.otcbb.com/" target="_blank">www.otcbb.com</a> – otcbb news<br /><br /><a href="http://www.boardcentral.com/index.php?view=Main" target="_blank">www.boardcentral.com/ index.php?view=Main</a> – most popular stock search<br /><br /><a href="http://www.smallcapcenter.com/" target="_blank">www.smallcapcenter.com</a> – otcbb resources<br /><br /><a href="http://smallcapcenter.com/tools_QuickSearch.asp?page=QUICKSEARCH.ASP" target="_blank">smallcapcenter.com/ tools_QuickSearch.asp?page=QUICKSEARCH.ASP</a> - free filter<br /><br /><a href="http://www.stockfetcher.com/" target="_blank">www.stockfetcher.com</a> - stock filter<br /><br /><a href="http://knobias.10kwizard.com/" target="_blank">knobias.10kwizard.com</a> - SEC Edgar filings<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><b>TA – Technical Analysis</b></span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.stockcharts.com/" target="_blank">www.stockcharts.com</a> – charting web site<br /><br /><a href="http://bigcharts.marketwatch.com/" target="_blank">bigcharts.marketwatch.com</a> – charting web site<br /><br /><a href="http://www.iqcharts.com/education" target="_blank">www.iqcharts.com/education</a> - TA, candlesticks, chart patterns education<br /><br /><a href="http://www.stockcharts.com/education/ChartAnalysis" target="_blank">www.stockcharts.com/education/ChartAnalysis</a> - teaches chart analysis<br /><br /><a href="http://www.transitionstrading.com/Chart_Studies.htm" target="_blank">www.transitionstrading.com/Chart_Studies.htm</a> - teaching about charts<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><b>General DD (Due Diligence/Research/Fact-Checking)</b></span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.allstocks.com/edu/index.html" target="_blank">www.allstocks.com/edu/index.html</a> - Research links<br /><br /><a href="http://www.quotemedia.com/results.php" target="_blank">www.quotemedia.com/results.php</a> - Free level II (not pink)/Delayed<br /><br /><a href="http://www.nasdaqtrader.com/aspx/regsho.aspx" target="_blank">www.nasdaqtrader.com/aspx/regsho.aspx</a> - “Sho” list<br /><br /><a href="http://www.nasdaq.com/" target="_blank">www.nasdaq.com</a> – Tons of information (insider trading/IPO’s/Most active/much more)<br /><br /><a href="http://www.tradetrek.com/online.asp" target="_blank">www.tradetrek.com/online.asp</a> - General but with 5 day and 6 month forecasts<br /><br /><a href="http://www.secform4.com/" target="_blank">www.secform4.com</a> – Free real time insider trader monitor<br /><br /><a href="http://www.otcbbtrader.com/portal/goto.dll" target="_blank">www.otcbbtrader.com/portal/goto.dll</a> - Market Data<br /><br /><a href="http://www.stockmarketyellowpages.com/" target="_blank">www.stockmarketyellowpages.com</a> – search tool<br /><br /><a href="http://www.rookiedaytrader.com/" target="_blank">www.rookiedaytrader.com</a> – Some good advise here<br /><br /><a href="http://www.epubsinc.com/index.php?pageName=formtypes" target="_blank">www.epubsinc.com/ index.php?pageName=formtypes</a> – Edgar form types and descriptions<br /><br /><a href="http://www.shellstockreview.com/ssrShellsBySym.htm" target="_blank">www.shellstockreview.com/ssrShellsBySym.htm</a> - Shell companies<br /><br /><a href="http://www.daytradingcoach.com/index2.htm" target="_blank">www.daytradingcoach.com/index2.htm</a> - trading tips, education, quotes and charts<br /><br /><a href="http://www.investopedia.com/" target="_blank">www.investopedia.com/</a> - dictionary of stock terms, tutorials<br /><br /><a href="http://www.stockcharts.com/education/MarketAnalysis/dowtheory1.html" target="_blank">www.stockcharts.com/education/ MarketAnalysis/dowtheory1.html</a> - theory of market movement<br /><br /><a href="http://www.stockcharts.com/education/TradingStrategies/" target="_blank">www.stockcharts.com/education/ TradingStrategies</a> - well known trading strategies<br /><br /><a href="http://our-street.com/home.htm" target="_blank">our-street.com/home.htm</a> - list of scam companies<br /><br /><a href="http://www.sec.gov/" target="_blank">www.sec.gov</a> – latest filings, litigations, proceedings, or suspensions<br /><br /><br />————————————————————<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><b>Secretary of States (Protect Yourself!)</b></span><br /><br />Alabama - <a href="http://arc-sos.state.al.us/CGI/SOSCRP02.MBR/INPUT" target="_blank">arc-sos.state.al.us/CGI/ SOSCRP02.MBR/INPUT</a><br />Alaska - <a href="http://www.gov.state.ak.us/ltgov/" target="_blank">www.gov.state.ak.us/ltgov</a><br />Arizona -<a href="http://www.azsos.gov/" target="_blank">www.azsos.gov</a><br />Arkansas - <a href="http://www.sosweb.state.ar.us/" target="_blank">www.sosweb.state.ar.us</a><br />California - <a href="http://kepler.ss.ca.gov/list.html" target="_blank">kepler.ss.ca.gov/list.html</a><br />Colorado - <a href="http://www.sos.state.co.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.co.us</a><br />Connecticut - <a href="http://www.sots.state.ct.us/" target="_blank">www.sots.state.ct.us</a><br />Deleware - <a href="http://www.state.de.us/sos/default.shtml" target="_blank">www.state.de.us/sos/default.shtml</a><br />Florida - <a href="http://www.dos.state.fl.us/" target="_blank">www.dos.state.fl.us</a><br />Georgia - <a href="http://www.sos.state.ga.us/default800.asp" target="_blank">www.sos.state.ga.us/default800.asp</a><br />Hawaii - <a href="http://www.ehawaii.gov/dcca/bizsearch/exe/bizsearch.cgi" target="_blank">www.ehawaii.gov/dcca/ bizsearch/exe/bizsearch.cgi</a><br />Idaho - <a href="http://www.idsos.state.id.us/" target="_blank">www.idsos.state.id.us</a><br />Illinois - <a href="http://www.sos.state.il.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.il.us</a><br />Indiana - <a href="http://www.in.gov/sos/" target="_blank">www.in.gov/sos</a><br />Iowa - <a href="http://www.sos.state.ia.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.ia.us</a><br />Kansas - <a href="http://www.kssos.org/main.htm" target="_blank">www.kssos.org/main.htm</a><br />Kentucky - <a href="http://sos.ky.gov/" target="_blank">sos.ky.gov</a><br />Louisana - <a href="http://www.sec.state.la.us/" target="_blank">www.sec.state.la.us</a><br />Maine - <a href="http://www.state.me.us/sos/" target="_blank">www.state.me.us/sos</a><br />Maryland - <a href="http://www.sos.state.md.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.md.us</a><br />Massachusetts - <a href="http://www.sec.state.ma.us/" target="_blank">www.sec.state.ma.us</a><br />Michigan - <a href="http://www.michigan.gov/sos/" target="_blank">www.michigan.gov/sos</a><br />Minnesota - <a href="http://www.state.mn.us/ebranch/sos/" target="_blank">www.state.mn.us/ebranch/sos</a><br />Mississippi - <a href="http://www.sos.state.ms.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.ms.us</a><br />Missouri - <a href="http://www.sos.mo.gov/" target="_blank">www.sos.mo.gov</a><br />Montana - <a href="http://sos.state.mt.us/css/index.asp" target="_blank">sos.state.mt.us/css/index.asp</a><br />Nebraska - <a href="http://www.sos.state.ne.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.ne.us</a><br />Nevada - <a href="https://esos.state.nv.us/SOSServices/AnonymousAccess/CorpSearch/CorpSearch.aspx" target="_blank">esos.state.nv.us/SOSServices/ AnonymousAccess/CorpSearch/CorpSearch.aspx</a><br />New Hampshire -<a href="http://www.sos.nh.gov/index.html" target="_blank">www.sos.nh.gov/index.html</a><br />New Jersey - <a href="http://www.state.nj.us/state/" target="_blank">www.state.nj.us/state</a><br />New Mexico - <a href="http://www.sos.state.nm.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.nm.us</a><br />New York - <a href="http://www.dos.state.ny.us/" target="_blank">www.dos.state.ny.us</a><br />North Carolina - <a href="http://www.secretary.state.nc.us/corporations/" target="_blank">www.secretary.state.nc.us/ corporations</a><br />North Dakota - <a href="http://www.knowx.com/northdakota/northdakota-corporate-records.jsp" target="_blank">www.knowx.com/northdakota/ northdakota-corporate-records.jsp</a><br />Ohio - <a href="http://www.sos.state.oh.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.oh.us</a><br />Oklahoma - <a href="http://www.sos.state.ok.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.ok.us</a><br />Oregon - <a href="http://www.sos.state.or.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.or.us</a><br />Pennsylvania - <a href="http://www.dos.state.pa.us/dos/site/default.asp" target="_blank">www.dos.state.pa.us/dos/site/default.asp</a><br />Rhode Island - <a href="http://www.state.ri.us/" target="_blank">www.state.ri.us</a><br />South Carolina - <a href="http://www.scsos.com/" target="_blank">www.scsos.com</a><br />South Dakota - <a href="http://www.sdsos.gov/index.htm" target="_blank">www.sdsos.gov/index.htm</a><br />Tennessee - <a href="http://www.state.tn.us/sos/" target="_blank">www.state.tn.us/sos</a><br />Texas - <a href="http://www.sos.state.tx.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.tx.us</a><br />Utah - <a href="http://www.utah.gov/ltgovernor/" target="_blank">www.utah.gov/ltgovernor</a><br />Vermont - <a href="http://www.sec.state.vt.us/" target="_blank">www.sec.state.vt.us</a><br />Virginia - <a href="http://www.soc.state.va.us/" target="_blank">www.soc.state.va.us</a><br />Washington - <a href="http://www.secstate.wa.gov/corps/" target="_blank">www.secstate.wa.gov/corps</a><br />West Virginia - <a href="http://www.wvsos.com/" target="_blank">www.wvsos.com</a><br />Wisconsin - <a href="http://www.sos.state.wi.us/" target="_blank">www.sos.state.wi.us</a><br />Wyoming - <a href="http://soswy.state.wy.us/corporat/corporat.htm" target="_blank">soswy.state.wy.us/corporat/ corporat.htm</a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><b>Phone Numbers provided by HitMe101</b></span><br /><br />Knight Equity Markets, L.P.<br />NASDAQ TRADING<br />800-222-4910<br /><br />NASDAQ TRADING<br />888-515-0031<br /><br />BULLETIN BOARD<br />800-232-3684<br /><br />DELISTING/BANKRUPTCY<br />212-336-8656<br /><br />DELISTING/BANKRUPTCY<br />212-336-8791<br /><br />DELISTING/BANKRUPTCY<br />212-336-8792<br /><br />INTERNATIONAL<br />800-762-0271<br /><br />BROKER/DEALER DESK<br />888-302-9197<br /><br />INSTITUTIONAL DESK<br />800-222-4895<br /><br />FOREIGN BULLETIN BD<br />212-336-8841<br /><br />HELP DESK<br />888-931-HELP<br /><br />NITE UBS Capital Markets L.P.<br />JERSEY CITY, NJ<br />N/A<br /><br />DOMESTIC TRADING<br />212-514-5140<br /><br />FOREIGN/ADR TRADING<br />212-804-3354<br /><br />OTC BB/PINK TRADING<br />800-631-3094<br /><br />DEALER/SALES TRADING<br />800-213-2923<br /><br />TD Waterhouse Capital Markets, Inc.<br />OTC TRADING<br />201-369-8830<br /><br />BULLETIN BOARD<br />201-369-8889<br /><br />BULLETIN BOARD<br />800-500-3905<br /><br />DEALER/INST SALES<br />201-369-1000<br /><br />DEALER/INST SALES<br />800-369-5775<br /><br />JEFFERIES & COMPANY, INC.<br />BULLETIN BOARD TRDG<br />212-336-7007<br /><br />BROKER DEALER<br />877-350-2855<br /><br />NASDAQ TRADING<br />972-701-3100<br /><br />DALLAS TX<br />800-527-6816<br /><br />AGENCY TRADING<br />972-701-3250<br /><br />DALLAS TX<br />877-273-9728<br /><br />LOS ANGELES<br />310-914-1163<br /><br />STAMFORD CT.<br />203-708-5910<br /><br />866-682-2398<br /><br />INTL TRADING<br />203-708-5890<br /><br />800-525-8620<br /><br />877-350-BULL<br /><br />LISTED TRADING<br />973-912-2790<br /><br />CONVERTIBLES<br />203-708-5868<br /><br />BROKER/DEALER DESK<br />212-336-7007<br /><br />JEFF Tradition Asiel Securities Inc.<br />NASDAQ<br />212-791-4770<br /><br />OTCBB<br />212-791-5335<br /><br />VANDHAM SECURITIES CORP.<br />NEW YORK NY<br />212-223-7510<br /><br />CloseVNDM 07:30<br />0.015 50 Oppenheimer & Co., Inc.<br />NEW YORK, NY<br />212-422-7813<br /><br />CONVERTIBLE BONDS<br />212-668-5764<br /><br />800-682-5381<br /><br />NASDAQ/OTCBB TRADING<br />212-422-7813<br /><br />LISTED DESK<br />212-668-8033<br /><br />INSTITUTIONAL DEPT<br />212-943-9055<br />Hudson Securities, Inc.<br />JERSEY CITY, NJ<br />201-216-9100<br /><br />JERSEY CITY, NJ<br />800-624-0050<br /><br />JERSEY CITY, NJ<br />212-227-7733<br /><br />INSTITUTIONAL SALES<br />800-419-9187<br /><br />201-216-0375<br /><br />COLORADO<br />888-576-1828<br /><br />BOCA RATON, FL<br />800-898-2777<br /><br />INTERNATIONAL<br />888-306-1998<br /><br />561-361-0951<br /><br />CANADIAN ARB<br />201-216-1475<br /><br />WM. V. FRANKEL & CO., INCORPORATED<br />JERSEY CITY, NJ<br />201-434-5005<br /><br />NEW YORK, NY<br />212-943-6633<br /><br />NEW YORK, NY<br />800-631-3091<br /><br />SEABOARD SECURITIES, INC.<br />NASDAQ/OTCBB<br />973-514-1699<br /><br />FLORHAM PK, NJ<br />973-514-1500<br /><br />AGENCY DESK<br />973-514-1678<br /><br />JUNO BEACH FL.<br />561-630-6170<br /><br />Hill Thompson Magid and Co., Inc.<br />JERSEY CITY, NJ<br />201-434-8100<br /><br />JERSEY CITY, NJ<br />212-233-2200<br /><br />NASDAQ TRADING<br />800-631-3083<br /><br />ADR TRADING<br />800-879-9842<br /><br />CANADIAN EQUITIES<br />866-235-7016<br /><br />BANK STOCKS<br />866-291-6316<br /><br />CHICAGO, IL<br />800-999-8073<br /><br />CHICAGO, IL<br />312-372-3828<br /><br />Maxim Group LLC<br />NEW YORK, NY<br />212-895-3680<br /><br />800-261-0498<br /><br />OTCBB<br />212-895-3874<br /><br />FOREIGN TRADING<br />212-895-3897<br /><br />INTL Trading, Inc.<br />ORLANDO FL<br />407-741-5399<br /><br />800-541-1977<br /><br />OTCBB DESK<br />800-327-5703<br /><br />OTCBB DESK<br />407-741-5394<br /><br />NEW YORK, NY<br />212-485-3545<br /><br />Bear, Stearns & Co. Inc.<br />NEW YORK NY<br />212-272-4810<br /><br />OTCBB/PINK SHEETS<br />212-272-4975<br /><br />NASDAQ TRADING<br />800-247-7882<br /><br />EMERGING MARKETS<br />212-272-9297<br /><br />INTERNATIONAL<br />212-272-4580<br /><br />ARBITRAGE<br />212-272-4506<br /><br />PREFERRED<br />212-272-5104<br /><br />PREFERRED<br />800-231-8892<br /><br />CONVERTIBLES<br />212-272-4484<br /><br />HIGH YIELD DEPT<br />212-272-5100<br /><br />OTCBB/PINK SHEETS<br />212-272-4975<br /><br />VFINANCE INVESTMENTS, INC<br />OTCBB/PINK SHEETS<br />800-487-0577<br /><br />OTCBB/PINK SHEETS<br />561-981-1314<br /><br />NEW JERSEY<br />908-782-4469<br /><br />NEW YORK<br />908-782-4469<br /><br />PHILADELPHIA<br />856-234-2900<br /><br />PERSHING TRADING COMPANY, L.P.<br />JERSEY CITY NJ<br />201-413-3531<br /><br />NASDAQ TRADING<br />800-305-0161<br /><br />BULLETIN BOARD<br />201-413-2700<br /><br />DEALER DESK<br />201-413-2465<br /><br />866-880-9410<br /><br />Fulcrum Global Partners LLC<br />OTCBB DESK<br />212-803-7046<br /><br />OTCBB BROKER/DEALER<br />212-803-7070<br /><br />CANADIAN/FOREIGN DSK<br />212-803-9026<br /><br />Sterne Agee Capital Markets, Inc.<br />BOCA RATON, FL<br />561-368-8373<br /><br />BOCA RATON, FL<br />800-930-3536<br /><br />DEALER SALES, FRANK<br />800-979-4568<br /><br />DOMESTIC SECURITIES, INC.<br />EDISON, NJ - OTC<br />732-661-0300<br /><br />MONTVALE, NJ OTC<br />201-782-0009<br /><br />MONTVALE, NJ HQ<br />201-782-0888<br /><br />BILTMORE INTERNATIONAL CORPORATION<br />TRADING DESK<br />732-791-4000<br /><br />ALTERNATE<br />732-287-6535<br /><br />—————————————————————————<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><b>Recovering a Loss</b></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Loss vs. Gain-Needed-to-Recover-the-Loss</span><br /><br />10% - 11.1%<br />20% - 25.0%<br />30% - 42.9%<br />40% - 66.7%<br />50% - 100.0%<br />60% - 150.0%<br />75% - 300.0%<br />90% - 1000.0%<br /><br />Timing your entry and exit from the market is critical to making money and controlling losses.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >MM Signals </span><br /><br />100 > I need shares<br />200 > I need shares badly but don’t take it down to get them.<br />300 > Take the price down to get shares......<br />400 > Trade it sideways based on Supply and Demand<br />500 > Gap one-way or the other, usually to the direction of the 500 trade. Sometimes -if in the middle -keep the price right where it is.<br /><br /><b>Invest with your brain not with your heart. </b> — Ric<br /><br />****<br /><br /><a href="http://radar.oreilly.com/archives/2005/10/spam_stock_tracker.html">Check out</a> the <a href="http://www.spamstocktracker.com/">Spam Stock Tracker</a> project. -- <a href="http://www.allstocks.com/stockmessageboard/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi/ubb/get_profile/u/00009114.html">L.B.</a>Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1128477271076314712005-10-04T21:44:00.000-04:002005-10-07T18:35:31.783-04:00Penny Stocks Part 1: Psychological TrappingsDespite the dire risk of boring many readers, I've decided to blog up some investment advice.<br /><br />The following is taken from a post by the mighty Ric at <a href="http://www.allstocks.com/stockmessageboard/ubb/ultimatebb.php/ubb/get_topic/f/14/t/001085/p/2.html">"So how do I make money then?,"</a> a recent discussion thread at <a href="http://www.allstocks.com/">Allstocks.com’s</a> Bulletin Board.<br /><br /><br /><b>PRICE IS CONTROLLED BY THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAPPINGS OF THE MARKET.</b><br /><br /><b>By realityinc21/Diana</b><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage 1 - Accumulation</span>. Stock is quiet, trading sideways and without a lot of volatility. Most everyone ignores the stock because it has no sizzle. Insiders hold large blocks of stock and quietly gear up for the distribution.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage 2 - Breakout.</span> Volume jumps up, psychological barriers are broken. Insiders begin to tell their friends of upcoming significant fundamental change. Pros take notice and buy the stock on the coat tails of the well informed. The public ignores it because they have not read about the company in the paper yet. It must be a scam.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage 3 - Uptrend.</span> As a larger audience learns of the company and its promise, more buying comes in to the stock and it begins to climb. Pros begin to sell, but slowly. Average investor begins to buy.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage 4 - Pullback.</span> The stock has gone up too fast, and some profit taking arrives. The jumpy investor who got the entry timing right but lacks confidence in his or her decision sells the stock with a small profit, and smiles in the mirror. The Pro holds on, Average Investor looks through the newspaper to find justification for ownership of the shares.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage 5 - Resumption of the Uptrend.</span> The pull back is short lived, and the stock bounces and continues higher. The wannabe regrets the sell, but provides self counsel on the merit of making a profit, albeit a small one. The Pro might sell a little bit more, but still holds the majority of the original position. The Average Investor is getting excited now, and thinks about what could have been if only he had bought when he first noticed the stock.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage 6 - Exhaustion of the Uptrend. </span>The media takes notice, and communicates the company's merits to the masses. The masses buy the stock, and it goes up sharply with strong volume. The Pros sell with enthusiasm. The Average Investor owns it now, and is telling everyone who will listen. The wannabe Pro jumps back on, after all, he was smart enough to buy it when the trend started, so he knows the stock well. Will hope make it go higher?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage 7 - Gravity Works. </span>Pro selling begins to weigh on the uptrend, and the stock fails to go higher despite high volumes. The stock starts to go down instead of up, and the Pro is almost sold out. The Average Investor continues to cheer lead, hoping to rally support. The wannabe ignores what the market is telling him, taking a loss is too painful to consider. The company is featured on the cover of a magazine.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage 8 - The Second Guess. </span>The stock bounces and starts to go back up. The wannabe Pro averages down while the Average Investor gets back to advising friends of his stock picking acumen. Pros sell their remaining holdings and begin to look for another deal to play, or perhaps start short selling the stock.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage 9 - Out of Gas.</span> The bounce is a fake out, and the stock moves lower again. The public owns this stock, and they have no more power to buy. The Pro are making money on the short sales now, but are despised by the masses. The Average Investor makes calls for short selling to be made illegal—after all, the short sellers are the demons causing the sell off.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage 10 - Dead Cat Bounce.</span> The Average Investor and the wannabe Pro have no pain tolerance left, and finally sell for a big loss. The short selling Pros are the only buyers to take the share off their hands, and provide the needed liquidity. The stock bounces, and some short-term traders make a quick profit. The Average Investor either swears to never buy a stock again, or tells lively stories over drinks about the one that could have been.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stage 11 - Post Mortem.</span> Pros have forgot about the stock and are considering carpet samples for their new home in Florida. Average Investor continues to follow the company and buys loads of cheap stock to try and overcome the regrettable loss.<br /><br />The stock market is mean. You can be a good analyst, but if you can't overcome the psychological traps of trading, you will do what the crowd does. To be successful, you have be one step ahead of the crowd, and trade with unemotional discipline. There are strategies to take advantage of each stage of the market cycle that can be applied just by looking at a stock chart. They just require a bit of knowledge.<br /><br />----------------------------------<br /><br /><b>Everyday for the next 30 days, read this 10 times a day.</b><br /><br />Ask yourself 10 times a day "what kind of trader am I going to be??" Am I going to be a crying whining little bitch or am I going to shake it off?? Am I going to buy to high because I do not know how to read a chart or am I going to f**cking learn how to read a chart?? Am I going to be the entertainment for this board or am I going to go the library and check out all the books that I can read on day trading and investing and stock charting. Am I going to learn how to do my own due diligence or am I going to buy on the recommendation of people from this board?? (It is pretty obvious that is what happened) they were great recommendations but you were about 5 steps behind. It looks like by the time you were buying everyone else was selling. Am I going to take this laying down or am I going to get my Goddamn money back. No one can make those choices for you!!<br /><br />May seem like I am being a cold hearted bitch but this the real world baby. The question you have to address right this minute is… am I going learn on the fly or am I going to back it up and learn about what the f**ck I am doing?? You dove in headfirst now you have to learn how to swim. If you are not willing to learn how to swim—bail and take your loss. Day trading is time consuming. I would venture to say that most of the people on this board spend 5 to 10 hours a day researching-charting-reading sec filings-going over financials—reading news releases—communicating with other traders on strategies—then finally buying—then the same process begins for the exit. It may not seem like it right now but I am trying to help you. As will others. Sugarcoating the facts will not help you. You need a good dose of reality and I just gave it to you!! I.e. reality incorporated....<br /><br />The only consolation that I can give you is: I have been in your shoes. After over 20 years of dealing with the market I still was not prepared for the depth of day trading. I learn new things everyday and make mistakes everyday. After 4 years of making at least 5 trades a day I am a newbie just like you. It is a process. Welcome to day trading and good luck with your choices. Reality incorporated Establish a set of trading rules that work for you. These are my rules. You have a adapt your own. Maybe this will give you some guidelines to go by.<br /><br />----------------------------------<br /><br /><b>MY PENNY STOCK RULES:</b><br /><br />1. I never buy on impulse or get emotionally attached to a <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/penny+stocks" rel="tag">penny stock</a>—think LOGIC—I buy it, I sell it, I make money and I rarely look back.<br /><br />2. I never buy a stock JUST because I like it or worse someone else likes it.<br /><br />3. I rarely buy a micro penny stock trading under a volume of 50,000 mil—80 to 100 mil is better (always remember there has to be buyer for every stock you buy)...<br /><br />4. I rarely hold a micro penny stock over night.... My definition of micro penny is under .10 cents ...Rarely over a weekend...NOTICE I SAID RARELY. THERE ARE SOME STOCKS THAT HAVE A BUILD UP AND IF THE VOLUME IS GOOD AND I FEEL CONFIDENT ABOUT MY DD I WILL HOLD IT FOR THE RUN. At $7.00 to $10.00 a trade I can buy and sell it every day on news or hype or earning whatever. .(THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED DAY TRADING)<br /><br />5. I never buy a penny stock on the way up. IE CHASING I watch the pre market trading and set a buy price and a sell price and stick to it (missed out on NEOM by sticking to my rules—I noticed it at .11 and refused to buy to high) UPSIDE IS I DO NOT HOLD 500,000 SHARES OF NEOM AT.43 CENTS—-DOWNSIDE I DID NOT MAKE 50,000 DOLLARS. I DID MAKE A COUPLE OF GRAND BY PLAYING THE GAP AFTER THE RUN. IF YOU MISS THE RUN PLAY THE GAP. LIKE THE MAN SAID—THERE IS ANOTHER STOCK JUST WAITING TO BE BOUGHT.<br /><br />6. I never think about GETTING RICH OR RETIRING on penny stocks...My goal is to make $200.00 a day and not lose my original investment. Most often I exceed my goal. (When I lose money it is usually because I have not followed my own rules)<br /><br />7. I never ride a stock down—I will sell it and re-buy it. EXAMPLE: BOUGHT CTKH AT .002 AND .0022. SOLD HALF AT .0046. SOLD HALF OF THAT HALF AT .0069. IT STARTED GOING DOWN AND I BAILED OUT AT .006. BOUGHT AGAIN TODAY AT .0032. LOGIC-DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE MUTUAL FUND MANAGERS WOULD HAVE HELD ONTO IBM IF IT DROPPED 50%?????—(WELL SOME WOULD) LOL I THINK NOT...RIDING A STOCK DOWN IS LIKE THROWING 50% OF YOUR MONEY OUT OF A CAR WINDOW AT 75 MILES AN HOUR AND HOPING IT FLIES BACK TO YOU. OR BETTER YET "IF YOU LOVE IT LET IT GO—IF IT LOVES YOU IT WILL COME BACK TO YOU". THAT’S BULL****—IF IT LOVED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE IT NEVER WOULD HAVE LEFT... I have actually bought and sold the same stock 3 times in one day. ATNG WAS A RECENT 3 TIME BUY AND SELL. BOUGHT AND SOLD IBZT 3 TIMES ONE DAY. (not usually but it does happen).<br /><br />8. I never insult or bash another fellow trader...I respect other people's trading methods. I LEARN FROM THEM. What the hell—It's not my money.... ( It's not like they are setting on third base at a black jack table and take a hit on 15 and the dealer has a 6 showing and I have $500.00 dollars riding on that hand). I DO LISTEN AND LEARN AND BENEFIT FROM THEM.<br /><br />9. I never trade with MONEY that I am not willing to lose.<br /><br />10. I follow the market and market trends (not just the stocks)<br /><br />11. I never buy a stock without reviewing, analyzing and understanding the charts. I learned how to read charts and believe in them....They do not lie...I MAY NOT KNOW WHAT THEY MAKE OR PRODUCE OR SELL WHEN I BUY IT BUT I DO REVIEW THE CHARTS ON THE FLY AND PUT IN A BUY ORDER FOR SMALL AMOUNT TO GET IN THE DOOR. MOST TRADERS KNOW WHEN A RUN IS COMING AND HAVE ALREADY DONE THE DUE.<br /><br />12. I never get gambling and investing confused. I INVEST IN REAL ESTATE.... MY BUSINESS....SMALL, MEDIUM AND LARGE CAP STOCKS WITH A HISTORY-MANAGEMENT TEAM-FINANCIALS—ASSETS—CASH—ETC...30 YEARS+ GROWTH AND INCOME MUTUAL FUNDS WITH 12% OVERALL GAIN IN GOOD AND BAD TIMES (THEY ARE PROFESSIONALS AND THAT IS THEIR JOB). I GAMBLE WITH PENNIES... MY DEFINITION OF PENNIES IS ANYTHING UNDER $5.00.<br /><br />13. I always take 50% of earning from each week and e-transfer into INTEREST BEARING TAX account. THEN I LEARNED HOW TO INVEST THAT MONEY IN REAL ESTATE TO MINIMIZE TAXES. INCORPORATE, PROTECT AND SHELTER.<br /><br />14. I ALWAYS TAKE MY ORIGINAL INVESTMENT OUT OF THE EQUATION WHEN IT IS FEASIBLE TO MAKE ENOUGH MONEY ON THE TRADE TO MAKE IT WORTHWHILE .IE...WHEN THE STOCK IS ON A RUN UP SELL PORTIONS AT TIME TO RECOUP ORIGINAL INVESTMENT. IF IT IS A STOCK I PLAN TO KEEP LIKE TFSM—I BOUGHT AT 1.06. AT 2.12 I WILL SELL HALF AND RECOUP INVESTMENT AND KEEP 5000 SHARES FOR FREE. HOPEFULLY THAT WILL BE THIS WEEK.<br /><br />15. I ALWAYS HAVE FUN.........ACTUALLY I HAVE A BLAST....<br /><br />16. I LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY....<br /><br />17. I CAN'T SPELL, TYPE WELL OR USE PROPER GRAMMAR—AND I SWEAR LIKE A SAILOR...BUT IF YOU PUT A DOLLAR SIGN IN FRONT OF IT—-I WILL FIGURE IT OUT..........THAT CERTAINLY DOES NOT MAKE ME STUPID...IT MAKES ME SMART BY RECOGNIZING MY LIMITATIONS. LEARN YOURS.<br /><br />18. I ALWAYS MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS AND TAKE ALL RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY ACTIONS.<br /><br />19. I LAUGH EVERYDAY...MOSTLY AT MYSELF AND SOMETIMES AT OTHERS....<br /><br />20. LAST AND MOST IMPORTANT—THE MARKET HAS A RHYTHM—EACH STOCK HAS A RHYTHM—LIKE GREAT SEX—A RHYTHM...FIGURE OUT YOUR OWN RHYTHM WITH THE MARKET AND DUE YOUR OWN DD... LEARN THE RHYTHM OF THE CHARTS. IT IS CALLED "HARD WORK". THE REST WILL FOLLOW. TAKE THE TIME TO PASS ON YOUR GOOD FORTUNE TO OTHERS. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.allstocks.com/stockmessageboard/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi/ubb/get_profile/u/00002376.html">-- <b>realityinc21/Diana</b></a><br /><br /><br />***<br /><br />Some other reliable gurus I've run across at Allstocks.com’s Bulletin Board are <a href="http://www.allstocks.com/stockmessageboard/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi/ubb/get_profile/u/00005358.html">FatherOfTwo</a> and <a href="http://www.allstocks.com/stockmessageboard/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi/ubb/get_profile/u/00006768.html">QuestSolver</a>, but there are a lot of talented folks on this forum and on other sites online. No matter how highly or lowly rated anyone is, however, your best bet is to track their advice for a while -- and look at their old recommendations -- to see how often they're right and wrong.<br /><br />Once you've found someone who can find the winners, also think about whether or not their advice and trading style fit your needs and your own style and attitude. This vetting process will help you figure out whose picks you should follow in the future, which in turn will speed up your own ability to make money on the fly. -- <a href="http://www.allstocks.com/stockmessageboard/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=recent_user_posts;u=00009114">L.B.</a>Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1127650880371320642005-09-25T08:16:00.000-04:002005-11-07T22:03:36.196-05:00The Wicked Dreams of Paula Schultz Frank MillerAlthough expertly plotted and paced, the original <a href="http://www.darkhorse.com/zones/sincity/index.php">"Sin City" graphic novels</a> never told the most original stories, but instead happily existed in a world of spiced-up homage. The plots were fun and twisty, if thin, but the dialogue often seemed pointedly campy -- the running joke being that everything in "Sin City" was an exaggerated version of old-school hardboiled crime/noir novels and movies.<br /><br />The stories worked best when a sense of reality seeped in, most notably in the earliest storylines featuring Marv. Frank Miller later got carried away, allowing more fanciful and fetishistic superhero-type characters (ninja hookers, bright-yellow bad guys) to overtake the simulated veracity of his noir world.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/1024/sin_city_MArv_rain_cover.jpg"><img style="border: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); margin: 2px;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/200/sin_city_MArv_rain_cover.jpg" border="0" /></a><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/1024/Vance%20Sin%20City%20Rourke.jpg"><img style="border: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); margin: 2px;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/200/Vance%20Sin%20City%20Rourke.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />But telling wholly original tales was never the point of "Sin City." Instead, Miller seemed to be looking for a strong vehicle to showcase the breathtaking new black-and-white drawing style he'd developed. His relief work -- pitch-black backgrounds splashed and splattered with abstract white patterns that upon closer inspection coalesce into recognizable characters momentarily suspended in time -- is especially stunning.<br /><br />The stories in "Sin City" are thrilling enough, however, to inspire a number of movies or a serialized TV show. A subtle writer and a director with realistic-tendencies could have developed the plots and characters into fully realized forms onscreen, while the escapist plots and snarky dialogue would surely have pleased a large audience.<br /><br /><a href="http://madeoutofmouth.blogspot.com/2005/08/sin-city.html">Robert Rodriguez is not a man of subtlety or realism</a>, but he showed great courage and a lack of ego in allowing Frank Miller the opportunity to write and direct alongside him. With that in mind, one cannot deny the brilliance with which Miller and Rodriguez played up their strengths in <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0401792/">adapting "Sin City" into a feature film</a>.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/1024/bigfatkill.jpg"><img style="border: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); margin: 2px;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/200/bigfatkill.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/1024/sin_city_miller_snow_shot.jpg"><img style="border: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); margin: 2px;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/200/sin_city_miller_snow_shot.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Re-creating the ineffable "Sin City" artwork is impossible, but the close visual approximation that Rodriguez was able to maintain through cinemagraphic and FX acumen is astounding. Regrettably, <a href="http://filmgeeks.blogspot.com/2005/04/theatrical-review-sin-city.html">"Sin City" the movie</a> also serves to highlight all the weaknesses and flaws found in the often two-dimensional, sometimes cheesy (but always sinfully lovable) "Sin City" comic books, but it's successful attempt at being absolutely true to its source material is a triumph.<br /><br />Yes, a more mature and nuanced filmmaker-writer team might have created a better film from the "Sin City" comics (but perhaps nothing as visually and pedantically loyal to its source); and one can certainly argue that movies should aspire to be more than adaptations of comic books or regurgitations of old crime/detective/noir story ideas (or revamps of old movies, foreign movies, and expired TV shows, for that matter); and comic-book purists such as <a href="http://www.alanmoorefansite.com/">Alan Moore</a> would say that stories told as sequential art should stay in print and not be abused as movie fodder.<br /><br />And Rodriguez -- a brilliant cinematographer (even when shooting DV) and an expert at creating fast-paced adventure -- has a tone-deaf writing style and a lackluster ability for pulling believable performances from actors. <a href="http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20030912/REVIEWS/309120304/1023">"Once Upon a Time in Mexico"</a> suffered from the same flaws and highlights as "Sin City": flashes of brilliance and eccentricity and excitement tempered absurdity, plot holes, and groan-worthy camp; extreme violence with no emotional heft or impact; daring experimentation undercut by a complete ridiculousness.<br /><br />Then again, no other filmmaker alive today is as capable of consistently and regularly bringing their entirely realized and uncompromised cinematic vision to the screen, reaching a large audience, and making money while not bowing to studio pressure, union pressure, or a politically conservative society. And no other filmmaker is making films that look or feel like Rodriguez’s films. He is an iconoclast, and in this day and age of constant remakes and sequels and church-marketed, product-tested, megaconglomerate cinema, that has to be appreciated and applauded -- even if his films do fall far short of perfection, even if they do too often immerse themselves in a juvenile mentality, even if they aren’t everything we hope for from the new vanguard of Hollywood.<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/1024/Sin_City_Face_and_Butt.jpg"><img style="border: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); margin: 2px;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/200/Sin_City_Face_and_Butt.jpg" border="0" /></a><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/1024/sin_city_Bruce_willis.jpg"><img style="border: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); margin: 2px;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/200/sin_city_Bruce_willis.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Plus, as a longtime reader of “Sin City,” I can’t help but marvel at the perfection of the film’s casting—I’d long dreamed of bringing Mickey Rourke back from the depths and casting him as Marv in a “Sin City” film, so Rodriguez read my mind in that regard. And it was nice to see that Rodriguez didn’t shy away from violence and nudity, happily accepting an R rating despite the studios’ current loathing of anything that will keep kids from being able to buy tickets. With “Sin City,” Rodriguez shows Hollywood that audiences will still queue up for a bit of T&A and blood, just like in the good ol’ days of Roger Corman and Adrian Lyne. Perhaps this will open a door for better films from other filmmakers that have found themselves trapped in studio-mandated PG13 hell.<br /><br />My only complaint with the T&A in “Sin City” is Jessica Alba being cast to play a stripper even though she doesn’t do nude scenes. Like lovely Natalie Portman in Mike Nichols’ <a href="http://film.guardian.co.uk/Film_Page/0,4061,1383866,00.html">“Closer”</a> and Salma Hayek in Rodriguez’s <a href="http://www.fortunecity.com/lavender/atkinson/816/dusk.html">“From Dusk Till Dawn,”</a> Alba gives strippers everywhere a bad name with her chaste and clothed portrayal an exotic dancer. Having a no-nudity clause is respectable, and having a nude-free movie is fine, but don’t play a stripper if you refuse to show the goods, I say.<br /><br />All in all, “Sin City” functions incredibly well for what it is, but until Rodriguez begins working with a more grounded writer, pays more attention to the performances of his actors, and tones down the theatrics just a tad, he’ll never become the <a href="http://www.thehighhat.com/Nitrate/002/peckinpah_intro.html">Sam Peckinpah</a> he has the potential to be.<br /><br />****<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Frank Miller’s Greatest Hits:</span> “Batman: The Dark Knight Returns” (and the rest of Miller’s Batman work), the Martha Washington sci-fi series (starting with “Give Me Liberty,” drawn by Dave “Watchmen” Gibbons), “Ronin” (one of my personal favorites), “300” (a historical epic), various Daredevil and Elektra tales, and “Hard Boiled” and “Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot” (both with art by the incomparable Geoff Darrow). For more, visit <a href="http://moebiusgraphics.com/">The Complete Works of Frank Miller</a>.<br /><br />****<br /><br />If you liked "Sin City," don't miss maestro David Cronenberg's <a href="http://movies.about.com/od/ahistoryofviolence/a/violence072605.htm">celluloid adaptation</a> of the lesser-known graphic novel <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399146/">"A History of Violence."</a> (The comic was <a href="http://www.newsarama.com/movies/Violence/JohnWagner.htm">written by John Wagner</a> and drawn by Vince Locke.)<br /><br />***<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sinful Art:</span> Not at all safe for work, but a pretty funny and damn near mesmerizing look at what's underneath it all .... Scroll over the ladies to see the goods and click on the figures to see their back sides ... This is naked art, people, not porn -- <a href="http://www.incident.net/works/miseanu/nues.html">Mise à nu (2005, Reynald Drouhin)</a>. From those fine folks at <a href="http://www.incident.net">Incident.net</a>.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1127626004008816342005-09-24T01:08:00.000-04:002005-12-06T09:59:13.250-05:00Founding Fathers' Formulations Faked to Further Church in State -- Find Out Far More Below, Folks!An intelligent and politically conservative acquaintance of mine mass-emailed the following to everyone he could think of:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">“James Madison, the fourth president, known as ‘The Father of Our Constitution’ made the following statement: ‘We have staked the whole of all our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God.’”</span><br /><br />The above quote isn’t very shocking—politicians have evoked the Bible for centuries, and the Founding Fathers of the young U.S. of A. were as likely as anyone to drop the word God into a conversation, axiom, or pronouncement. After all, the Western culture of that time period was even more totally entrenched in Judeo-Christian beliefs than it is today, and there was little concern for being politically correct toward religious cultures that barely existed within the geographic, social, or political sphere of Americans or Europeans. And many of the founders of America were deeply religious men.<br /><br />However, it’s important to take a historic perspective on such statements. One has to ask, Would James Madison or any of the Founding Fathers make such overt references to the Ten Commandments and Judeo-Christian beliefs as being cornerstones of our government if they lived the more diversified and global culture of the 21st Century? And also, did James Madison mean to imply that the United States of America is a wholly Christian nation, as my politically conservative, mass-email loving friend seemed to be hinting? And if so, how much importance should we stake on the single statement of one man who lived a couple hundred years ago?<br /><br />If we see the Founding Fathers as sacred, then can we honestly cherry pick only a handful of these men to steal quotations from? And even if we only concentrate our efforts on Madison, we can’t ignore the direct responses Madison’s views received from such fellow Founding Fathers as President Thomas Jefferson or the great American thinker Benjamin Franklin. Call me old-fashioned, but I do believe that the words of the Founding Fathers are important.<br /><br />Their views and ideas were instrumental in forming the U.S. and keeping it strong well after their own lives had worn away, and, tangentially, shaping the entire world we live in today. But winning the argument that Christianity is an integral part of the U.S. Constitution, U.S. courts, U.S. schools, and so on needs more than a single quote from a single man. Especially when that quote is a lie.<br /><br />Yes, that’s right. This Ten Commandment quote—which rightly or wrongly could be interpreted as implying that Judeo-Christian religious law is the basis of the U.S. Constitution and political system—is nothing more than a widely circulated piece of right-wing revisionist history. An archconservative propaganda advertising-campaign turned Internet “fact” turned endlessly forwarded email.<br /><br />It’s quite a controversial quote, in point of fact: It’s been printed in hundreds of places but its true origin is unknown. According to some reports it’s a complete fabrication, although a few experts believe that the statement may simply be attributed to the wrong person, or perhaps the words were misinterpreted, although the correct version and/or attribution for the quote has not been found as far as my research has been able to uncover.<br /><br />The following exposé excerpts are from a left-leaning website, so conservatives will certainly find bias afoot when the article partially blames Pat Robertson knowingly spread this false quotation amongst the populace. However, the verified and genuine Madison quotes below are edifying and undeniable. If you want to swear by the Founding Fathers, then you’d do well to first learn their true words. (And remember, compared to Jefferson and Franklin, Madison was often seen as being a right-wing chap—but these quotes show that even a conservative, religious man like Madison could make many modern-day neoconservatives seem like madmen).<br /><br /><blockquote><br /><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://web.archive.org/web/20030620063744/http://www.au.org/press/pr4401.htm">National Magazine Ad For TV Preacher's Graduate School Recruits Donations With Bogus James Madison.</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /><br />... The inaccurate Madison Ten Commandments quote was circulated among the Religious Right chiefly by David Barton, a Texas man who peddles a revisionist history arguing that the United States was founded as a ‘Christian nation.’ In 1996, Barton admitted that the quote is bogus and recommended that people stop using it.<br /><br />In 1993, the curators of the Madison Papers at the University of Virginia were asked if they could verify the quote. They replied that they could not. Wrote Curators John Stagg and David Mattern, ‘We did not find anything in our files remotely like the sentiment expressed in the extract you sent us. In addition, the idea is inconsistent with everything we know about Madison's views on religion and government, views which he expressed time and time again in public and in private.’<br /><br />[Madison] opposed tax funding of religion, publicly funded chaplains in the Congress and the military and even expressed regret for issuing proclamations declaring official days of prayer during his presidency. [Note] that in an 1819 letter to a friend, Madison wrote, ‘[T]he number, the industry and the morality of the Priesthood & the devotion of the people have been manifestly increased by the total separation of the Church from the State.’... ”<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">-- By Americans United for Separation of Church and State.</span><br /></blockquote><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madison also said:</span> “The experience of the United States is a happy disproof of the error so long rooted in the unenlightened minds of well-meaning Christians, as well as in the corrupt hearts of persecuting usurpers, that without legal incorporation of religious and civil polity, neither could be supported. A mutual independence is found most friendly to practical Religion, to social harmony, and to political prosperity.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">And he said: </span>“Ye States of America, which retain in your Constitution or Codes, any aberration from the sacred principle of religious liberty, by giving to Caesar what belongs to God, or joining together what God has put asunder, hasten to revise & purify your systems, and make the example of your Country as pure & compleat, in what relates to the freedom of the mind and its allegiance to its maker, as in what belongs to the legitimate objects of political & civil institutions. Strongly guarded as is the separation between Religion & Govt. in the Constitution of the United States the danger of encroachment by Ecclesiastical Bodies, may be illustrated by precedents already furnished in their short history.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">And he said: </span>“Torrents of blood have been spilt in the old world, by vain attempts of the secular arm, to extinguish Religious discord, by proscribing all difference in Religious opinion. Time has at length revealed the true remedy. Every relaxation of narrow and rigorous policy, wherever it has been tried, has been found to assuage the disease.”<br /><br />More relevant quotes can be found at AU.org's post, <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://web.archive.org/web/20030622212512/www.au.org/churchstate/cs3014.htm">"What God Has Put Asunder: James Madison Quotes On Church And State."</a><br /><br />Also, I highly recommend the <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/capital.asp">Snopes.com "National Capital" urban legends article</a>, which references the much passed-around (most-likely fake) Madison Ten Commandments quote as well as expertly showing how to spot false info of this nature, including other instances of Ten Commandment and U.S. Law fact-twisting found in a popular chain emails and right-wing propaganda.<br /><br />And Christian journalist James Watkins' objective, balanced, and entertaining <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://watkins.gospelcom.net/foundingfathers.htm">"One Nation Under the Supreme Being of Your Choice"</a> is required reading for Christians, Deists, Unitarians, Agnostics, Atheists, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindoos, et al., with even the slightest interest in the men behind the founding of the United States of America. Watkins takes powerful shots at both "the 'revisionist left' [that] would like to make [the founding fathers] secular and the 'religious right' [that] would like to make them saintly," juxtaposing some startling quotes from Jefferson, Adams, Franklin, Hamilton, and more.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1126765167255242612005-09-15T02:19:00.000-04:002005-12-08T01:05:09.423-05:00What Makes Brachish Run?<i>Scattered points of interest slapped down on the page like a fictional hooker slapped down by her pimp...</i><br /><br />Yes, it's true—I haven't posted on this blog for a long time (regrettably) and I won’t have time to post much in the near future.<br /><br />I’ve been too busy with work crap (one day I might have to rant here about how ridiculously low-paying the publishing industry can be, and how outrageous it is that the media world can get away with screwing so many people out of overtime pay), I'm constantly noodling with a screenplay in my spare time, and I’ve been spending inordinate amounts of time losing money by investing what little capital I have <a href="http://www.allstocks.com/stockmessageboard/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=recent_user_posts;u=00009114">in companies like the following</a>: AMRE, DWCH, KNOS, ICMH, NNOS, and WDAM (all of which have serious, exponential growth potential—if they don’t go of out of business first—and are currently available at knock-on-wood “rock-bottom” prices, meaning they’re highly speculative penny stocks and could very well ruin me if they don’t kick it in gear soon. These are mostly cutting-edge technology companies with ideas that caught my eye first, my imagination second, and my wallet last).<br /><br />I've linked some of my favorite stock-research websites on the sidebar of Celebrity Cola, so have a look if you have a thirst for high-stakes gambling.<br /><br />Anyway, lately I’ve been listening to a lot of Brendan Benson, New Pornographers, Matisyahu (the Hassidic-convert reggae rapper-singer), the new Gorillaz album (not as catchy as the first album, but a good record nonetheless), and Aussies like The Waifs and Missy Higgins. I’ve also rediscovered the joys of old Missy Elliot, and I finally got a copy of “Without Earth and the Moon” by The Moon and “Resurrection” by the Aerovons (both very good, if not as mind-blowing as I’d hoped considering the high-pedigrees and/or amazing origin stories behind these almost-lost masterworks).<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/x-statics_ugogrl_edie1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/x-statics_ugogrl_edie1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I’ve fallen behind when it comes to seeing current films, but on the <a href="http://www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com/fool/102694208747738.htm">comic-book front</a> I finally got around to reading some of the graphic novels collecting the work of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Milligan">Peter Milligan</a> (writer), <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Allred">Mike Allred</a> (primary artist), and Laura Allred (colorist) on the 2000-2004 <a href="http://www.sequentialtart.com/archive/sept02/pmilligan.shtml">X-Force/X-Statix</a> run. Others have said it before, but I’ll reiterate: Stupendous art; cynical but emotionally and socially relevant story; unarguably violent, sexy, smart, and funny. This is <a href="http://www.thexaxis.com/xstatix/reviews.htm">unlike any X-Men-related comic</a> you’ll ever read, it’s a limited commitment of your time (since it has a clear beginning and end), and it’s just a beautifully done piece all in all. Don’t miss it. Wait till you see what happens to the rambunctious Edie Sawyer/U-Go Girl. You'll cry like a baby. Great news: the X-Statix (aka, X-Statics) are being brought back in small doses with <a href="http://www.marvel.com/catalog/listing.htm?title=x-statix"><span style="font-style: italic;">X-Statix Presents: Dead Girl</span></a> and <a href="http://aaapop.com">Mike Allred</a> has a few cool projects in the works, including his groovy issue of <a href="http://www.silverbulletcomicbooks.com/reviews/113113529998212.htm">DC's Solo</a> (out now!).<br /><br /><br /><br />***<br /><br />I came across this Warhol-inspired piece of pop art by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/euria/1989.html">an artist named Euria</a>, and since it’s related in name and theme (in a way) to this Celebrity Cola blog, I thought I’d share the image here:<br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/1024/celeb-cola_full.jpg"><img style="border: 1px solid rgb(0, 0, 0); margin: 2px;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/img/190/2076/200/celeb-cola_full.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Celeb-Cola (pop art by Euria)</span></span><br /><br />***<br /><br /><b>This month’s Shout-Outs go to:</b> Wendy (<a href="http://dorksidetales.blogspot.com/">Tales From the Dorkside</a> and <a href="http://filmgeeks.blogspot.com/">Film Geeks 2.0</a>), Eric Berlin (<a href="http://dumpsterbust.blogspot.com/">Dumpster Bust</a>), <a href="http://www.sequentialtart.com/">Sequential Tart</a>, my old pal <a href="http://sugeneris.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/">Susan</a>, and the new <a href="http://blogsearch.google.com/">Google Blog Search</a>.<br /><br />And <a href="http://willbradyjournal.blogspot.com/2005/10/blips-updates.html">Will Brady</a> recommends <a href="http://www.cronyjobs.com/">CronyJobs.com</a>.<br /><br />Now please go and visit <a href="http://www.venganza.org/">the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster</a>, which notes the important fact that <span style="font-weight: bold;">"global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s."</span> It's the truth!<br /><br />***<br /><a href="http://www.spacecoastweb.org/blog/2005.10.09_arch.html#1128913720746"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">This makes me blush:</span></a> "... Several months ago, one of the most talented and creative members of the blogging community had featured Alexa's site in a posting. Lucas Brachish is the pseudonym used by a magazine editor and well-known, published writer, living in New York city...." <i>-- David Harper, SpaceCoastWeb (Sunday, October 9, 2005)</i><br /><br />Nice, right? But even better yet, this quote is from another fine and informative <a href="http://www.spacecoastweb.org/blog/index.html">SpaceCoastWeb blog</a> article, "A nod to link exchange schemes." Disclosure: I lived in Florida for many, many years, and I love checking out Mr. Harper's SpaceCoastWeb for news on my old state, as well as insightful and literary posts involving everything under the sun of the ol' planet Earth. (For instance, SpaceCoastWeb <a href="http://www.spacecoastweb.org/blog/2005.08.21_arch.html">turned me on</a> to the <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://eggcorns.lascribe.net/">Eggcorn Database</a>, another site worthy of multiple visits.)Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1135331878358884202005-08-14T04:53:00.000-04:002006-01-08T17:38:33.210-05:00Hotel Lights: Whatever happened to the rest of Ben Folds Five and whatever and amen<a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=celebritycola-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=1789&creative=9325&path=external-search%3Fsearch-type=ss%26keyword=Ben%20Folds%26index=blended">Ben Folds Five.</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" /> Now there was a good band. Like Cold Play but with more sweat and vigor. Like Elton John without the funny clothes and cutesy ballads.<br /><br />But ol' Folds married an Aussie and moved Down Under (they grow the best women down there, don'tcha know), leaving his band and country behind. He continued to pump out great material -- a couple of solo albums, a live album, various <a href="http://www.attackedbyplastic.com/">online-only EPs</a>, singles, experiments, and weirdness (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=celebritycola-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=1789&creative=9325&path=tg%2Fdetail%2F-%2FB0001K5III">the Three Bens, </a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=celebritycola-20&l=ur2&o=1" alt="" style="border: medium none ! important; margin: 0px ! important;" border="0" height="1" width="1" />anyone?) -- but seemingly avoids the nonstop full-on glare that the global media has to offer. No über-popstar status for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Folds">Folds</a>, not when he can stay indie, quirky, and relevant without totally giving up on the cash that a major label has to offer. Famous-but-not-too-famous seems right up his alley.<br /><br />Which is fine by me, although I would like to see him do a follow up to his "Fear of Pop, Volume 1" brilliant space oddity album that featured your favorite actor and mine, William Shatner.<br /><br />(Actually, Ben Folds produced and played on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect?link_code=ur2&tag=celebritycola-20&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;camp=1789&creative=9325&path=external-search%3Fsearch-type=ss%26keyword=William%20Shatner%26index=music">William Shatner's crowning musical achievement, Has Been</a> in 2004, so let's not stress, eh? And while I'm on the subject, I should say, in all earnestness, that Has Been is staggering. Grand. <span style="font-style: italic;">Magnifico. </span>Just listen to the first track -- a Shatner duet with pop-punk icon <a href="http://www.joejackson.com/punknews.htm">Joe Jackson</a>, covering Pulp's "Common People" -- and try not to dance like a madman, even if you loath Star Trek. It's that damn good. <a href="http://www.shoutfactory.com/williamshatner/">Listen to it</a> with headphones for pure stereophonic bliss. Even the Pitchfork snobs <a href="http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/s/shatner_william/has-been.shtml">are in awe</a>.)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/William_Shatner_Has_Been.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/William_Shatner_Has_Been.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Still, I sometimes wonder what happens to the less famous members of eponymous bands when their fearless front men go off on their own. What happened to the Stooges in those years without Iggy Pop? Where went the Attractions and the Revolution without Elvis Costello and Prince? And what happened to the two men who weren't Ben Folds that helped make up the Ben Folds Five trio?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/1600/BenFoldsFive_Coffee03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7331/609/320/BenFoldsFive_Coffee03.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>That last question I can kinda answer: bassist <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Sledge">Robert Sledge</a> moved back to North Carolina where he's supposedly playing with a couple of different bands and helping produce local acts; at one point he belonged to Nut Magnet with ex-Squirrel Nut Zippers Tom Maxwell and Ken Mosher; later he joined <a href="http://www.intlorange.com/">International Orange</a> as a bassist-songwriter (alongside musicians Snuzz, Django Haskins, and Jason Fagg), but that band broke up in 2004. Drummer <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darren_Jessee">Darren Jessee</a> has formed a smooth new band of his own, the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotel_Lights">Hotel Lights</a>: the band is obscure right now, but their songs are kinda catchy. If you like Ben Folds and mellow indie guitar pop, then you'll dig the Hotel Lights.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I've written the following Hotel Lights article with <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1340969/otherworks">a friend</a> of mine. We plan on posting it to Wikipedia <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotel_Lights">later</a>, and Wikipedia can claim all rights to it... but you, dear readers, get the first look:</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Hotel Lights</span><br /><br />Indie pop band Hotel Lights was founded by Darren Jessee in 2003 (approximately) in Chapel Hill, North Carolina -- the city where, not coincidentally, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Folds_Five">Ben Folds Five</a> originally formed in 1994 as a trio consisting of Jessee, songwriter-pianist Ben Folds, and bassist Robert Sledge, along with various songwriting partners.<br /><br />Jessee, the drummer and one of the principal songwriters for Ben Folds Five, initially pursued a solo career as a singer-songwriter in New York City after BFF broke up in 2000. However, seeking to flesh out the material that he'd been developing on his own, he then decided to create a full-fledged band, Remover, which was quickly renamed Hotel Lights.<br /><br />On the band's website, Jessee obliquely describes the concept behind the band's name by saying, "...when you see hotel lights in the distance you feel like 'yeah, I'm almost there', but when you stand in the bathroom and turn on the hotel lights, they are fluorescent and you see every scar."<br /><br />The band's original lineup consisted of Jessee on lead vocals and guitar, former Archers of Loaf drummer Mark Price on drums, Roger Gupton on bass and vocals, and Chris Badger playing keyboards and guitar. Sound engineer Alan Weatherhead (The Comas, Sparklehorse, Camper Van Beethoven, Mary Timony) recorded the band's first album and their follow-up EP; he also performs pedal steel and guitar with Hotel Lights on occasion. Adam Schlesinger (Fountains of Wayne) and others have also made sonic contributions.<br /><br />As of 2005, the band had not been signed by a major label and was distributing their albums primarily through indie music retailer CD Baby, which files the band under the heading of "alt pop songs, acoustic guitar, lush keyboards." The official band website draws comparisons between Hotel Lights and Nick Drake, Court and Spark, and The Band.<br /><br />Hotel Lights had its first full-length release in the autumn of 2004. The self-titled album -- recorded at Sound of Music studios in Richmond, VA -- contained the following tracks (all copyrighted by Hair Sucker Songs):<br /><br />1. You Come and I Go<br />2. A.m. Slow Golden Hit<br />3. Miles Behind Me<br />4. I Am a Train<br />5. Small Town Shit<br />6. What You Meant<br />7. Follow Through<br />8. Stumblin' Home Winter Blues<br />9. Marvelous Truth<br />10. The Mumbling Years<br />11. Anatole<br />12. Motionless<br />13. Love to Try<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Related Links:</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.hotellights.net/">Official Hotel Lights band page</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/hotellights">CD Baby Hotel Lights band page</a><br /><br /><a href="http://indyweek.com/durham/2005-03-16/homebrew.html">Chris Parker's Independent Weekly "Homebrew" album review</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.dailyvault.com/2004_09_17-jw.html">Jason Warburg's Daily Vault album review</a><br /><br /><a href="http://darrenjessee.com/">Darren Jessee's home page</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.kitchenmastering.com/database/1128652267.html">Kitchen Mastering studios discusses the mastering of the 2005 Hotel Lights EP</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.geocities.com/rarebff/history_ad.html">Darren Jessee info is revealed in "Joey's Guide to Ben Folds Five B-Sides and Rarities"</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.donewaiting.com/archives/2003/06/whats_up_darren.phpm">Done Waiting's Darren Jessee update, "What's Up, Darren Jessee, Former Drummer of Ben Folds Five?"</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.shopbootlegs.com/store/btq/cstm/plastic/album1.jsp?site=plastic">Info on the lost Ben Folds/Darren Jessee collaboration, "Wandering," now part of the Ben Folds Speed Graphic EP.</a>Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1114929059355583952005-07-19T20:24:00.000-04:002005-07-29T02:35:43.526-04:00Writing the Hand That Feeds You<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">A list of resources for fiction writers, journalists, and other media mavens....</span><br /><br />When I’m looking for work, I always visit these sites first:<br /><br /><b><a href="http://www.ed2010.com/" target="_blank">Ed2010</a></b> (for magazine/newspaper advice, jobs, and gossip)<br /><b><a href="http://mandy.com/" target="_blank">Mandy.com</a></b> (for film and TV work)<br /><b><a href="http://mediabistro.com/" target="_blank">MediaBistro</a></b> (for an inside look at the publishing trenches. And lots of jobs.)<br /><br />Now, to find the best media jobs, it’s handy if you’re:<br /><br />(a) Married to a hotshot movie producer, media executive, magazine/book editor, or publisher.<br />(b) The offspring of someone rich or famous.<br />(c) The graduate of a high-profile school with a good alumni network. (Think: Harvard).<br />(d) The friend of someone in the industry.<br /><br />If not, it’s time to put your nose to the grindstone and start setting up search agents at the major job banks, like <a href="http://www.monster.com/">Monster.com</a>, <a href="http://www.careerbuilder.com/">CareerBuilder</a>, and <a href="http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/">HotJobs,</a> which will deliver career opportunities to your inbox on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis.<br /><br />The problem: When you apply for a job through one of these sites, you need to submit your resume within milliseconds of it being posted or you’ll get lost in a deluge of 10,000 other resumes. Applying directly through a company’s own corporate job board is the best way to go, and diligently visiting the niche media job sites is another intelligent choice. Of course, without a recommendation from someone inside the company, your prospects won’t be amazing, and the competition is fierce even on the smallest of job boards. But if you’re smart and persistent about the way you find and apply for jobs, eventually you’ll land something of merit.<br /><br />(Remember, most media companies prefer to hire people they already know, people they drink with, people their brother-in-law recommended to them, or their best interns. All businesses are like this to a certain degree, but in an industry where nonobjective taste applies—“Is this person a good writer, editor, or director?”—the whimsy of the bosses reigns.)<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The following are my favorite media job spots online. The emphasis is on writing and editing, but many of these sites are handy for all sorts of film, TV, advertising, public relations, and Internet media work.</span><br /><br />The <a href="http://www.csne.org/jobs/postings.html">California Journalism Job Bank</a> has lots of jobs for journalists in California.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.craigslist.org/">Craigslist</a> always has writing and film jobs available in it’s various regions and categories, although most of these jobs tend to be of the no- or low-pay variety.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.editorandpublisher.com/">Editor & Publisher Magazine.</a><br /><br />College-level students should visit the <a href="http://www.theihs.org/">Institute for Humane Studies</a> for internship, scholarship, and career building tips. The IHS is a very writer-friendly site, with a lot essay contests and the like.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.iwantmedia.com/jobs/">I Want Media (jobs).</a><br /><br />In addition to top-notch independent film reporting, <a href="http://indiewire.com/">indieWire.com</a> has an extensive list of film work in its classifieds section, including screenwriting gigs (much of the work is volunteer-based, so don’t expect riches here).<br /><br /><a href="http://www.ire.org/jobs/look.html">The IRE Job Center</a> (provided by the Investigative Reporters and Editors organization).<br /><br /><a href="http://jobs.jobbankusa.com/">Job Bank USA.</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.journalismjobs.com/">JournalismJobs.com.</a><br /><br />Listing the “Nifty Fifty”—the 50 top online job boards for journalists (including the job boards for Knight Ridder and the Associated Press)—as well as other resources for writers, <a href="http://www.freep.com/jobspage/links/jobboard.htm">the Detroit Free Press’ Jobs Page</a> is a must visit.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.lit.org/category/20">Lit.org</a> (see the Writer’s Wanted category).<br /><br />The <a href="http://www.naa.org/">NAA</a> (Newspaper Association of America) sponsors <a href="http://www.newspapercareerbank.com/">the Newspaper CareerBank.</a><br /><br />The <a href="http://www.newsjobs.com/">National Diversity Newspaper Job Bank</a> (news & media jobs).<br /><br /><a href="http://www.sunoasis.com/jobpostings.html">SunOasis</a> features a few jobs and lots of tips, links, and resources for writers.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.spj.org/careers_main.asp">The Society for Professional Journalists</a> (the Careers List requires paid membership).<br /><br /><a href="http://www.timewarner.com/corp/careers">The Time Warner job board</a> includes the inside scoop on job offers at Time Inc., HBO, New Line Cinema, <span style="font-weight: bold;">DC Comics</span>, AOL, etc. (If anyone can get me a job writing and/or editing comic books, I'll give 'em a cookie. A really <span style="font-style: italic;">big </span>cookie. And whiskey. And $20. Thanks.)<br /><br /><a href="http://www.writejobs.com/jobs/">The Write Jobs</a>, part of the <a href="http://www.writerswrite.com/">Writer’s Write</a> network, is a staple of every writer’s job hunt.<br /><br />And there are a number of websites out there specifically oriented toward film/TV jobs (like the excellent <a href="http://mandy.com/">Mandy.com</a>, as well as <a href="http://crew-net.com/">Crew-Net.com</a> and <a href="http://%20www.hcdonline.com/">The Hollywood Creative Directory’s</a> job board), acting jobs (<a href="http://www.backstage.com/">BackStage.com</a>, <a href="http://actorsaccess.com/">ActorsAccess.com</a>), and media jobs in general (<a href="http://entertainmentcareers.net/">EntertainmentCareers.net</a>, <a href="http://www.showbizdata.com/">ShowbizData.com</a>, <a href="http://varietycareers.com/">VarietyCareers.com</a>, and the NY-centric <a href="http://www.eventsinthecity.org/film/newsletters.htm">EITC newsletter</a>). Some of the more specialized sites charge membership fees for full access to their classified job ads, but with so many free sites out there, joining a pay site isn’t usually necessary.<br /><br />Also, try and get your hands on <a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.variety.com/index.asp?layout=careers2005&content=jump&jump=breaking&articleID=VR1117920155">the UTA Job List</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>email, a much-coveted inventory of entertainment jobs and celebrity assistant gigs (mostly in Los Angeles, with a smattering of jobs in NYC and elsewhere). This clandestine list’s origin is supposedly the United Talent Agency, but if you contact UTA directly they’ll say you’re crazy; you have to find a friend who gets the list and have them forward it to you every week (Jesse Albert is noted as the list administrator in the copyright notice at the bottom of the email). This list is the bread and butter of the jet-setting <a href="http://www.hollywoodmomentum.com/">HollywoodMomentum.com</a> professional ass-kisser crowd, and there’s no other way in, unless you’re sleeping with someone at UTA.<br /><br />When all else fails, cold-call the company you love the most. Pursue your dream like a rabid dog (but don’t be scary or annoying). Find out the names of the people in charge. Track down every detail you can about their likes and dislikes and work habits. Then send in artful letters asking for advice. Submit your resume directly to the top dogs and the human resource department. It may not get you a job, but letters of inquiry and unsolicited resumes rarely hurt.<br /><br />And forget thee not: The importance of writing a good cover letter should not be underestimated. Be engaging, make yourself sound interesting and intelligent but don’t be an egomaniac, summarize your skills and experiences and show how much you know about the company you’re applying to. And watch those typos. They can cost you the job.<br /><br />***<br /><br /><b>Related articles:</b><br /><br /><a href="http://nyjobsource.com/nynewspaperjobs.html">"Extra! Extra! Newspaper Jobs in NYC,"</a> by Ken Liebeskind for <a href="http://nyjobsource.com/">The New York Job Source</a>.<br /><br /><a href="http://online.wsj.com/article_email/0,,SB111084214625379204-INjeoNilal4oZypaX6HaqqGm4,00.html">"Industry Newsletter Web Sites Grow With Online Job Searches,"</a> by Megan Ballinger for The Wall Street Journal Online.<br /><br />***<br /><br /><b>Writers Wanted:</b> Every un-agented fiction scribe should check out Maud Newton's <a href="http://maudnewton.com/blog/index.php?p=3445" target="_blank">excellent article</a> regarding the process of submitting unsolicited fiction to magazines in this flailing, inbred world of modern literary publishing we readers and writers have to contend with these days. The primary interview is dated, considering editor Brigid Hughes has left the <i>Paris Review</i>, but it's still an insightful look into the belly of a beast I love. And Maud's other <a href="http://maudnewton.com/blog/index.php?cat=31" target="_blank">editor interviews</a> are not to be missed.<br /><br /><b>Personal aside:</b> I spotted <i>Paris Review</i> founder <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1406696" target="_blank">George Plimpton</a> on the street once, and after briefly making eye contact I followed him into a bookstore where I was lucky enough to see him speak as part of a panel on the dour state of contemporary lit publishing. Every editor and publisher in attendance expressed concern that they received far more in the way of submissions than subscriptions; we're living in a world of a few hundred thousand aspiring writers but only a handful of readers.<br /><br />In the midst of all the bad news, Plimpton's playful, sardonic wit and gallows humor, mixed with a lively dose of optimism and historical perspective, was mesmerizing, and his death a couple of years later struck me with a sharp pang. Would the much-heralded death of serious, inventive short fiction die with him? Plenty are trying to keep up the good fight, but are the readers out there... and has professional writing become strictly a well-connected Ivy League sport?<br /><br />And now I hear <a href="http://www.firstofthemonth.org/9_11/9_11_vonnegut_rivers.html" target="_blank">Kurt Vonnegut Jr.</a>, another of my literary heroes, is wandering around the East Village, but I've yet to see him, despite both of us being in NYC for years. I must track him down. But stalking is not my strong point; I'm too lazy.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1120382241740327012005-07-03T04:54:00.000-04:002005-07-16T23:25:32.866-04:00Gawd Dash It All: MS Word Shortcuts Made EasyI'm always amazed by how poorly people actually understand the programs they work with every day. Even in newsrooms filled with professional journalists, at the desks of overworked office assistants, and at the computers of recent college grads, I've seen otherwise intelligent individuals blunder away at their word processing software, blissfully unaware that they could double their processing speed if they only understood some of simplest functions beyond the standard changing-of-the-font, typing, saving, printing routine.<br /><br />(And don't get me started on how many highly paid executives I've met that are proud of their inability to check their own email, type up a memo, or wipe their own ass without the aid of three assistants, four staff members, and two executive committee meetings.)<br /><br />In a highly readable, shockingly funny article (for a very boring tech piece, that is), Herb Tyson explains <strong><a href="http://pubs.logicalexpressions.com/Pub0009/LPMArticle.asp?ID=128" target="_blank"> how you can have the Microsoft Word "Paste Special Unformatted Text"</a></strong><a href="http://pubs.logicalexpressions.com/Pub0009/LPMArticle.asp?ID=128" target="_blank"> </a> option always "at your fingertips."<br /><br />Not only does he give you a handy macro for quickly executing the "Paste Special Unformatted Text" command, but this is also a wonderful overview of macros, shortcuts, and cutting and pasting in general. You’ll be making new macros of your own in no time, <b>Alt/Tab(bing)</b> like a pro (this is the easiest way to switch between active program screens), pasting with the best of them, and creating nifty toolbar shortcuts for your macro and shortcut-key challenged coworkers. All tech articles should be this easy, helpful, and enjoyable to read.<br /><br />Also, be kind and at least teach your Neanderthal friends the easy-to-remember MS Word keyboard <span style="font-weight: bold;">shortcut basics</span>, many of which actually work across numerous programs and platforms and all of which will keep them writing/typing fast: ctrl-a selects all, ctrl-x cuts (while copying), ctrl-c copies (without cutting), ctrl-v pastes, ctrl-b bolds, ctrl-i italicizes, ctrl-u underlines, ctrl-z will undo, ctrl-y to redo, shift-F3 changes the capitalization (I love that one), F4 repeats the last executed command, shift-F4 repeats the last Find/Search, shift-F5 jumps you to your last edit point(s), and shift-F8 brings up the macros.<br /><br />More cool shortcuts can be found at <strong><a href="http://word.mvps.org/FAQs/General/Shortcuts.htm" target="_blank"> the MS Word MVP FAQ</a></strong>, which also explains some nifty tricks, like how to copy and paste a text’s style & formatting without copying the text itself (ctrl-shift-c & ctrl-shift-v), how ctrl-space removes character formatting from selected text, how the paragraph markers contain all the paragraph formatting data (which can be copied and pasted as well), etcetera, etcetera.<br /><br />And while we’re on the subject of MS Word: I wish I’d known how to turn my “invisibles” on (a visual representation of space and paragraph marks that improves your ability to proofread) and use the Format Painter tool earlier in life (the little broom icon on your Word toolbar that is also accessed with ctrl-shift-c). Oh, and hold down the Ctrl key while using the scroll wheel on your mouse to <span style="font-weight: bold;">zoom</span> in and out in Word and many other appilcations.<br /><br />And using the following on your numeric keypad will give you an en dash (–) and em dash (—), respectively, for those times when Word hasn’t autocorrected them into your sentence for you: ctrl-minus and ctrl-alt-minus. See the Wikipedia <strong><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dash_%28punctuation%29" target="_blank"> article on dashes</a></strong><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dash_%28punctuation%29" target="_blank"> </a> for more info on the proper use of the en and em dash.<br /><br />Oh, and for accents, use any of the following (as needed) and then type <a href="http://www.noblesoftwaresolutions.com/Tips_And_Tricks/Word/inserting_accents_in_Word.htm" target="_blank">the letter you want to accent:</a><br /><br />For an Acute (e.g., é): ctrl-' (apostrophe)<br />Grave (À): ctrl-` (the apostrophe under the tilde "~")<br />Tilde (ñ) ctrl-shift + ~ (tilde)<br />Circumflex (î) ctrl-shift + ^<br />Dieresis (ÿ) ctrl-shift + : (colon)<br /><br /><b>Also see:</b> <a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2004/09/preserving-formatting-when-posting.html" target="_blank">Celebrity Cola's MS Word Macro for Preserving Formatting When Posting Documents Online</a>.<br /><br />***<br /><br /><b>In other news:</b><br /><br />* Dumpster Bust asks, <a href="http://dumpsterbust.blogspot.com/2005/07/halliburton-wins-5-billion-contract-so.html" target="_blank">"Is the Halliburton-Bush-Cheney connection all on the up and up, or is there even more to all of this than meets the eye?"</a><br /><br />* Rolling Stone squawks as PBS and NPR are overun by the right: <a href="http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/_/id/7483528" target="_blank">"Muzzling the Muppets: The Bush administration wants to force public broadcasting to toe the Republican line."</a>Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1117968156932608362005-06-05T06:37:00.000-04:002005-06-19T02:41:13.750-04:00A Movie Review Bonanza (June 2005)<i>The following is a roundup of new </i>Celebrity Cola<i> film reviews. All of the movies listed are coming out (or being reissued) on DVD in 2004-05. Most of the flicks were released theatrically in 2004, but a few are classics.</i><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">After The Sunset (2004)</span><br />Director Brett Ratner brings his expertise in creating clichés to the forefront of this silly, pointless, annoying flick. The only highlights are Woody Harrelson's engaging, cartoon-like performance and Naomie Harris' fresh, likable take on a one-note character. The sexy Salma Hayek and square-jawed Pierce Brosnan have zero chemistry and sleepwalk through the unspeakable plot.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Aviator (2004)</span><br />Director Martin Scorsese can't make this bird fly faster than a standard biopic, leaving innovation at the airport. But the soaring visuals and eager performances add lift to an intriguing true story.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Alfie (2004)</span><br />Stripped of the grit and reality of the original, this too-pretty remake is much like its lothario protagonist: beautiful, smooth talking, sexy, and ultimately confused and hollow. As forgetful as the most vacant one-night-stand you've ever had, a gorgeous and talented cast is wasted in one well-shot scene after the next.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Anniversary Party (2001)</span><br />A small film with big stars and a modest payoff. One could easily accuse the celebs participating in (and making) this movie of supreme navel-gazing and self-reflexiveness, but the plot pats no one on the back. Instead, it’s a stark and blistering look at Hollywood life. The plot meanders, but the crisp characterizations are not easily forgotten.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Brown Bunny (2004)</span><br />Egomaniac wunderkind Vincent Gallo creates a rabbit story where the Watership doesn't go Down but daring indie starlet Chloë Sevigny infamously does. The hopping-mad scandal and backlash surrounding the film obscure the fact that emotional truth is leaping through this artistic briar patch.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)</span><br />Director Beeban Kidron misses the edge and falls off the building. Hugh Grant and Colin Firth are at their sardonic best, but the script is messier than Bridget Jones’ dieting habits, plot points from the original film being tossed through a spin cycle like dirty panties best thrown out. Leaving viewers with a bad-movie-binge hangover, Renée Zellweger tarnishes her skyrocketing career by turning her previously plucky portrayal of Jones into a running fat-dumb-clueless-blonde joke. A better title would have been “Four Bad Jokes and a Funeral for a Femme Franchise.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Bourne Supremacy (2004)</span><br />Shaken, stirred, and best served cold, “The Bourne Supremacy” is the best spy thriller of the year. Like spymaster John Le Carré on an amphetamine revelry, Robert Ludlum's novels create a world as thrilling as James Bond's but laced with intriguing blasts of reality and clandestine doses of philosophy. Where modern secret-agent flicks have mostly become routine exercises in beating the bad guys with cool gadgets, Matt Damon’s interpretation of Bourne gives new meaning to the phrase “intelligence community,” with the Bourne franchise’s real intellect, scorching thrills, and emotional relevance fighting the good fight against Hollywood’s current cold war against new ideas and common sense. Director Doug Liman got smart (again) and deftly incited a mini-revolution with “The Bourne Identity”; new helmer Paul Greengrass vigorously builds on Liman’s work while continuing his mission of assassinating spy movie clichés. The supporting cast is superb: Brian Cox, Joan Allen, Chris Cooper, et al infiltrate life into even their smallest moments onscreen. Julia Stiles’ character seemed too young and ultimately unnecessary in the first flick, but here she begins to shine. Franka Potente’s shocking early exit from the proceedings smuggles the sexual tension out of the plot, but the loss of her character is needed to fuel Bourne’s unhidden rage. We can only hope more directors with a license-to-greenlight will cast this first-class actress in scads of films without subterfuge or delay.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Claire's Knee (Le Genou de Claire, 1970)</span><br />Eric Rohmer’s movies attract viewers with erotic posters and tantalizing story fixations. But it’s all a ruse: Alternatingly thoughtful, philosophical, mumbled, lingering, lackadaisical, intellectual, quotidian, feverish, solipsistic, and seemingly never-ending dialogue rules the day. Watching a Rohmer flick is like reading a good essay while simultaneously eavesdropping on a couple in a café. Revealing, engaging, sometimes boring, often a little dirty—adjectives pop to mind, but breathtaking images do not. “Claire's Knee” is classic Rohmer and as affecting as his films come. If you’re up for “Claire,” the reward will be a film that slips into your subconscious and subtly arouses your imagination, if only you can stay awake.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004)</span><br />Like a typical SNL sketch, moments of absolute hilarity are mixed with abject stupidity and the joke is stretched out way too long. Quotable scenes are plentiful, the cast is solid and inventive, and audiences who have seen too many movies like this before are left feeling like they just ate a bowl of junk food.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Donnie Darko (2001)</span><br />Teen angst hasn’t been this cool since Christian Slater and Winona Ryder obliterated the screen in “Heathers.” Enchanting, ambitious, haunting, and only a little ridiculous, “Donnie Darko” announces writer-director Richard Kelly as a massive talent, actor Jake Gyllenhaal as a complex performer, and faded star Patrick Swayze as someone we shouldn’t forget. Skip the competent theatrical version and go straight to the masterful director’s cut. The philosophical side of Philip K. Dick’s science fiction has always been largely ignored in the adaptations of his films, but here Kelly captures the rarified mindset of Dick without having to plunder any of his writing. Instead, the director creates a brand new world that mystifies and captivates. For both good and ill, “Darko” leaves a thousand ideas and hundreds of unanswered questions in the viewer’s brain—a feeling that’s aggravating, exciting, and undeniably different.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Faces (1968)</span><br />A hallmark of ultra-low-budget indie cinema, “Faces” remains avant-garde after nearly 40 years. Ignoring the gutted production values, one can appreciate the fierce performances and innovative directorial techniques of John Cassavetes.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)</span><br />Despite the pro-socialist/anti-Republican bent, Michael Moore’s film hits too many targets of every political stripe to truly be called pure propaganda. “Fahrenheit” collects crucial news snippets, contrasts divergent factoids, presents overlooked data, and raises plausible conspiracies in a deceptively humorous, easy-to-digest, time-capsule-like filmic journey through modern American politics. A must-watch film for anyone interested in the State of the Union—even viewers who disagree with the filmmaker’s vantage should give “Fahrenheit” a chance, lest they miss important talking points that will continue to affect the evolution of society.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Garden State (2004)</span><br />The ghost of iconoclast director Hal Ashby permeates writer-director-star Zach Braff’s aesthetic even more than it informs auteur Wes Anderson. This is not a bad thing. Ashby is an oft-forgotten genius, and Braff builds on his techniques to establish himself as more than a mere sitcom actor, elevating his status to that of a sensitive leading man and documenter of elusive details and ignored lives. Exquisite imagery, delightful cinematography, and skillful gags are artfully deployed in this gentle, unassuming love story. Peter Sarsgaard gives the potentially typical funny-slacker-pothead character layers of depth and sad appeal; Natalie Portman sparkles in a way she hasn’t since she was an astonishing child in “Léon: The Professional”; Ian Holm is pitch-perfect, as usual.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Great Gatsby (1974)</span><br />An all-star cast and crew—including Robert Redford, Mia Farrow, Bruce Dern, Karen Black, and Sam Waterston acting, Francis Ford Coppola writing, Jack Clayton directing, and legendary Douglas “Indiana Jones Trilogy” Slocombe shooting—somehow manage to turn F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic Great American Novel into a turgid, stultifying experience. The dazzling stars, cinematography, and set/costume design should be captivating, but poor Clayton and in-his-prime Coppola dig “Gatsby” a deep grave in the cemetery of boredom just the same. Although the movie is technically loyal to the novel, watching the film is so numbing you’ll never want to read the book, which is a dirt-dog dirty shame. Rumor has it that Coppola only had three weeks to write the screenplay after Truman Capote’s draft was rejected, and the “Patton” scribe/“Godfather” director was not yet enough of a moviemaking titan to demand more time or a shot at directing the flick himself; very regrettable. The film’s critical and financial drubbing left Clayton in a funk that kept him from directing for nine years. “Gatsby” is a bold undertaking, to be sure, but unmistakably a resounding, somnambulating failure on all fronts.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Hud (1963)</span><br />Paul Newman was never as good of an action star as his mega-cool rival Steve McQueen, but he consistently beat McQueen at the game of artistic triumph. Nor have the principal heirs to Newman’s status as an artistically accomplished, bankable, über-manly pretty-boy superstar—namely, Robert Redford and Tom Cruise, and, somewhat less successfully, Keanu Reeves, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, the fallen Kevin Costner, and wannabes Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, etc.—ever eclipsed his ability to balance big budget popcorn successes with numerous nuanced performances in commendable, unforgettable films. “Hud” is one such film. Based on Larry McMurtry’s novel “Horseman, Pass By,” and sometimes described as a rethinking of “Rebel Without a Cause” set in a 1960s update of the Old West, this revisionist modern Western is also reminiscent of the McMurtry scribed “The Last Picture Show” and Newman’s later performance in “Nobody's Fool.” In its detailed depiction of quiet desperation, small-town misery, loner rebellion, interfamily strife, and coming of age in changing times—rife with societal subtext that’s still relevant today—“Hud” stands tall, drinking viewers under the table with poetic depression.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I Heart Huckabees (2004)</span><br />Whimsical, daring, stupefying. A bizarre comedy about philosophical and metaphysical questions. Naomi Watts? Delicious. Dustin Hoffman? He’s back from the Void of Forgettable Roles. Lily Tomlin? Shows she should be in more films. Isabelle Huppert? Dead-on. Jude Law’s American accent is a dud, but he’s winning just the same, even while playing an unlikable character. Mark Wahlberg, horrific in nearly everything (with “Three Kings” and “Boogie Nights” being strong exceptions), shines. Jason Schwartzman proves he’s got something to offer other than just being the guy from the top-draw “Rushmore,” being the guy related to famous people, and being the guy who plays drums in a so-so, danceable band. David O. Russell—seemingly blacklisted from Hollywood for being an egocentric prick that picks on actors, extras, and crewmembers and battled George Clooney in a very public display of dislike—proves why he deserves not just a comeback but also a new film deal every year. No one makes movies like Russell, and he continues to surprise.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I, Robot (2004)</span><br />A disappointing paint-by-numbers action flick from director Alex Proyas, the mind behind the astounding “Dark City” (and, admittedly, some not-so-astounding other films). Isaac Asimov’s seminal science fiction and Proyas’ research into modern robotics and futurist theory should have resulted in a mind-bending exploration of the near future and the possibilities for mankind. There’s a computer science term called GIGO, which stands for “Garbage In, Garbage Out,” meaning that a computer can only output quality if quality is first entered. All signs pointed toward quality being entered into this film, so why the garbage result? Sure, laser-gun battles and action-film set pieces are expected in a big-budget extravaganza such as this, but did it all have to be so mindless and typical? Will Smith—a professed sci-fi geek and a Hollywood powerhouse—could’ve helped protect the visions of Asimov and Proyas (assuming he had a vision), but instead he seems content to shout and squint through this mildly entertaining shoot ’em up. It’s smarter than your typical Hollywood summer-action crap and has some great special effects, but opportunities are missed at every turn of the gear.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Knife in the Water (Nóz w wodzie, 1963)</span><br />Roman Polanski skillfully manifests early Hitchcock-level tension in this low-budget thriller. A good example of how an intense film can be made with limited funds and a small cast. It’s not Polanski’s best by a mile, but he later set the bar high for himself with “Cul-de-sac,” “Repulsion,” “Chinatown,” “Rosemary's Baby,” “Frantic,” “The Pianist,” etc., so comparing this early work to his better-financed successes may not be fair.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Motorcycle Diaries (Diarios de motocicleta, 2004)</span><br />Beautiful, inspiring, and races right along. The portrait of the revolutionary (Ché Guevara) when he still thought he could heal the people of the world without murdering his enemies. Gael García Bernal and Rodrigo De la Serna are glorious as the best friends seeking adventure. Walter Salles turns the memoirs of Ernesto Guevara de la Serna and Alberto Granado into a cinematic delight. You’ll forget you’re reading subtitles and find yourself transported into a different time and culture. A magnificent achievement: true-life stories are rarely this well told.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Napoleon Dynamite (2004)</span><br />Writer-Director Wes Anderson has only made four feature films, none of them blockbusters, but his style is already affecting a new generation of filmmakers. Writer-director Jared Hess, a decade younger than Anderson’s mere 36 years, instantly jumped to the forefront of Anderson acolytes with “Napoleon Dynamite.” Warping Anderson’s penchant for J.D. Salinger-like too-smart-for-their-own-good extended-family dynamics and Hal Ashby-inspired deadpan comedy reaped from heightened realism of the eccentrically ordinary, Hess balloons Anderson’s loving set-and-costume-design-as-running-gags modus operandi into an anachronistic smorgasbord, drops the IQ levels of his eccentric protagonists, inserts sketch-routine type jests and absurd-but-comedy-rich situations, stirs in some Alexander Payne circa “Election” teen hijinks, and lets his inordinately inspired cast steal the show, all while retaining the Anderson-like sub-themes of sadness, loneliness, and rebellious iconoclasm. The result doesn’t work as powerfully or on as many levels of consciousness as Anderson’s films, but its freewheeling nature provides pleasures that Anderson’s increasingly controlled comedic universes sometimes miss.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">North Dallas Forty (1979)</span><br />Easily one of the top 50 greatest sports films ever made, and probably the best about professional U.S. football. It’s got the dog-eared grit, testosterone vitality, and anti-establishment forward drive of writer-director Oliver Stone’s masterpieces (“Platoon,” “Wall Street,” etc.), but Stone’s own longwinded take on football, “Any Given Sunday,” doesn’t hold a candle to this stadium rouser from director Ted Kotcheff and writer Peter Gent. Back when pro football had first really come into it’s own as a major U.S. pastime, but before it became as corporate and mass-produced as it is today, in a time when a lot of shaggy white guys dominated the sport, when performance-enhancing drugs, painkillers, and steroids where growing in popularity, when rebellion was in the air and sports salaries were skyrocketing, in an era when the jailhouse football yarn “The Longest Yard” was a smash hit, this was the time of the troubled North Dallas football team (a fictionalized account of the 1970s Dallas Cowboys). Conventional sport-film plot twists are replaced with realistic drama and gallows humor, and Nick Nolte is in top Method acting, Brando- invigorated form as an aging, decrepit player.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Raisin in the Sun (1961)</span><br />Sidney Poitier, young and charismatic, dominates scene after scene in director Daniel Petrie’s powerful film version of Lorraine Hansberry’s classic play. The supporting cast is grand, and the tale’s dueling themes of motherhood, manhood, racism, family values, love, anger, and redemption intertwine with emotionally shattering results. The movie cannot shake its theatre roots and modest budget—it’s obviously a play, grounded in one location, not cinematic (the camera placement and editing are uninspired), with performances walking a razor’s edge between realism and sharpened theatricality—but the small, confined apartment set radiates a sense of home and claustrophobia that eventually enhances the dynamics of the conviction-filled ensemble, benefiting the tightly written, rhythmic script and immersing viewers into the lives of the Younger family.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Shadow of a Doubt (1943)</span><br />A cute film about a spunky kid grows creepier and creepier as Alfred Hitchcock pulls strands of suspense from out of the darkness that lurks in every mind and every room. The acting and pacing are dated, and the visuals are not as finely finessed as in later Hitchcock efforts, but do not doubt this flick’s ability to summon nightmares.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Shark Tale (2004)</span><br />A good film for little kids, “Shark Tale” can’t stand up to adult scrutiny nor live up to the smash hit it’s desperately trying to capitalize on, Pixar’s “Finding Nemo.” DreamWorks drowns by substituting a whale-sized laundry list of celebrity names for true voice-over talent, fresh jokes, and a captivating story, leaving this peppy tale smelling like two-week old tuna sitting in the sun. Leads Will Smith and Renée Zellweger gamely swim through sappy dialogue; Jack Black (the friendly shark) is the only celeb who bothers creating an original voice and emotional undertone (undertow?) for his character; Angelina Jolie is hooked into a cliché; Ziggy Marley, Doug E. Doug, Michael Imperioli, and Vincent Pastore are given one-dimensional canned characters; Peter Falk and Katie Couric are wasted on quick-fry gags. Fast-forward to the Robert De Niro and Martin Scorsese scenes for some undercooked fun. Call it “Finding Nada.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Shaun of the Dead (2004)</span><br />Drop-dead funny. Even if you hate horror films, you’ll still find yourself laughing at this shtick-fest. And if you love horror movies, a thousand inside jokes await you. Lively, piquant characters romp through relevant relationship humor, pub jokes, and day-in-the-life farce before getting chased down by zombies that are both comical and terrifying. The genre transitions are smooth (not an easy feat), the comedic timing excellent. Think “The Office” meets “Monty Python” meets “28 Days Later...” and, obviously, “Dawn of the Dead.” Most shocking of all: It’s a great date movie.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sideways (2004)</span><br />Can director Alexander Payne do no wrong? He strikes vintage in film after film. “Sideways” isn’t as laugh-out-loud and dazzlingly mean-spirited as “Election” or as heart wrenching as “About Schmidt,” but within its European art-film rhythms is an excellence that’s hard to describe. Paul Giamatti, Thomas Haden Church, Virginia Madsen, Sandra Oh, and Marylouise Burke breath four-dimensional life (length, width, depth, and time) into fully realized characterizations. “Sideways” was overhyped as both a knee-slapping comedy and mind-blowing drama—what makes the film remarkable is not the laughs or tears, which are sparse, but instead the fact that you go away feeling you know the characters as well as any friend you’ve ever had. They lodge into your mind like good times almost forgotten, their melancholy-mirthful story becoming part of the fabric of your memory. “Sideways” calls to mind Woody Allen when the Woodman is operating with a full glass, although it doesn’t quite match the very best bottles of vintage Woody. Give Payne some time: His skills are aging nicely.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)</span><br />Looks good . . . tastes bland. Riffing on 1940s science-hero movie serials, monster movies, film noir, old-school sci-fi, World War II propaganda films and newsreels, “His Girl Friday,” and the 1950s “Adventures of Superman” TV show, writer-director Kerry Conran seems possessed by an abundance of swell ideas. Combine cool concepts with crazy-good computer FX skills and a talented cast (Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Giovanni Ribisi, Michael Gambon, Ling Bai, Omid Djalili, and a reanimated Laurence Olivier) and you get a supa dupa copasetic movie, right? Well, sure, as long as the acting isn’t stiff, the pacing dull, the emotional arcs nonexistent, the plot points predictable, the dialogue laughable. . . . The moral of the story: Directorial auteurs and computer guys can have great ideas, but they need to honestly assess their skills and consider hiring a writer and strong-willed editor when it comes to crafting the screenplay and piecing together the final product. Conran even makes George Lucas’ half-assed but potential-filled “Star Wars” prequel scripts seem accomplished. In other words, this movie is a beautiful, witty, talented damsel in distress, and a superhero needs to fly in and save it from choking on its own nonsense.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Stepford Wives (2004)</span><br />Why remake an okay suspense film that was an of-its-time metaphor for women’s liberation (based on a novel that was a good satiric thriller) into a meaningless, heartless, unfunny comedy with shiny stars and a once-good director? Because Hollywood has run out of ideas, that’s why. Remakes and rehashes, no matter how bad, have become de rigueur. This pedantic “Stepford” is proof positive that the moneymen backing movies these days are all soulless robots.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sunday, Bloody Sunday (1971)</span><br />An intimate and well-crafted look at a man, a woman, and their shared male lover. Innovative in its time for it’s unflinching portrayal of unmarried sex and homosexuality, the film is far less scandalous now but still edgier than anything currently being shown on broadcast TV. The performances are strong and director John Schlesinger keeps a firm grip on the material, but over time it’s become a slowly paced artifact of a particular era, and does not continue to astound in the same way as Schlesinger’s trippy and daring “Midnight Cowboy” (1969), always fresh “Darling” (1965), and striking “Billy Liar” (1963).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Terminal (2004)</span><br />From a story credited to Andrew Niccol (the writer-director of the underrated “Gattaca”) and a guy named Sacha Gervasi comes a screenplay by Gervasi and Jeff Nathanson. A screenplay that sucks. A screenplay that crash-lands all over the screen. A screenplay best described by one of the standard dictionary definitions of the word “terminal” itself: “Causing or ending in or approaching death.” Tom Hanks wastes a good accent and a lot of charisma playing a kindly foreign man stuck in an airport because of bureaucratic B.S. Partially based on a true story? Partially pulled out of a feces encrusted Pan Am lavatory, if you ask me. Telling the story of the real man and the real bureaucracy might have been interesting. Putting Tom hanks in a good movie would have been even better. But instead director Steven Spielberg does neither, opting for a flight plan that drags viewers through sickeningly sweet and ham-handed plot points, kindergarten-level dialogue, wooden acting courtesy of the gorgeous Catherine Zeta-Jones, one-note good guys, a two-note bad guy (Stanley Tucci valiantly, if briefly, tries to insert some complexity and sympathy into a character designed to make the actor look like an evil fool), zero chemistry between the majority of the leads, and nothing else. The one redeeming feature: frequent Wes Anderson star Kumar Pallana plays Gupta Rajan, the airport’s janitor. Pallana has a natural pizzazz that lights up the screen and “The Terminal” gives him a chance to grow as an actor, but, sadly, he’s trapped in the same bad movie as everyone else. George Lucas and Steven Spielberg, having lost their minds at some point in a distant galaxy, long long ago, have now hired Jeff Nathanson—the writer behind such bad-movie classics as “Speed 2: Cruise Control,” “Rush Hour 2,” and “The Terminal”—to write a new draft of “Indiana Jones IV.” They keep mentioning that he did a good job on Spielberg’s “Catch Me If You Can.” Maybe, but I keep picking up the following radio signal in my false tooth: “Air Traffic Control to Flight Indiana Jones—you’re going down. Repeat. Prepare for a crash landing.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)</span><br />Remember when James Cameron would make more than one feature film per decade? Back when he was the master of new special effects and the top action director in the biz? A sci-fi badass? Those were good times. Fourteen years after “Terminator 2” debuted in theatres and the FX and story still work like a charm, putting all the cheap knock-offs and new videogame-inspired sci-fi action flicks to shame (see: “Aliens Vs. Predator,” et al). The only film in the last decade even in the running for the “T2” crown of best balls-out shoot-to-kill action and FX extravaganza with science-smarts is Paul Verhoeven’s secretly brilliant “Starship Troopers” (1997). “Pitch Black” might get a consolation prize. That’s it. So keep watching “T2” while the world waits for Cameron and Verhoeven to strike again.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">True Romance (1993)</span><br />Forgive the exclamation points, cursing, and capitalization that’s about to come, but it’s warranted: When Christian Slater is on, the man is fuckin’ on. And here he is ON, goddammit. Toe-stomping turns by Patricia Arquette (dangerous and sexy!), Dennis Hopper (has never been better!), Val Kilmer (as a freakin’ ELVIS ghost/hallucination), Gary Oldman (at his scary/funny/crazy best), Brad Pitt (goddamn hilarious as a pothead loser), Christopher Walken (holy shit he’s evil!), Bronson Pinchot (a sick, brilliant turn as a sycophant cokehead), Samuel L. Jackson (blink and you’ll miss the Main Man doing his thing), Michael Rapaport (good stuff), and James Gandolfini (in an early role). Director Tony Scott doesn’t lose track of the story in the midst of the all the dazzling images and shattering cuts, as he often does with his Hollywood blockbusters. He really seems to cherish the material here, and it shows. Quentin Tarantino wrote the acerbic, violent, gut-laugh-funny screenplay with an uncredited assist by “Pulp Fiction” co-writer Roger Avary. Keen and obscure pop culture references, movie tributes, comic-book shout-outs, and frequent “Badlands” references pepper this truly spicy dish.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Woman Under the Influence (1974)</span><br />Great, raw, naturalistic performances, but John Cassavetes (in writer-director mode) is definitely an acquired taste. Bits of plot have to be carefully deciphered from the cascading dialogue and hyperrealism that reigns supreme. Actors Peter Falk, Gena Rowlands, and company are hypnotizing, but if you’re sleepy at all you’ll be so hypnotized you’ll pass out, so have some coffee and pay attention to the detailed work of acting maestros in their element.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Woodsman (2004)</span><br />Superb acting keeps you on the edge of your seat throughout this sad, twisted tale of a man battling his desires and tainted past.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">(Disclaimer: All <span style="font-style: italic;">Celebrity Cola </span>reviews are also posted on <a href="http://blogcritics.org/author.php?author=Lucas%20Brachish" target="_blank">BlogCritics.org</a>, and I’m also submitting these reviews to the <span style="font-style: italic;">Zagat Movie Guide</span> for consideration. If <span style="font-style: italic;">Zagat </span>chooses any snippets from the reviews for inclusion in the <span style="font-style: italic;">Guide</span>, then I think the fine print of the deal says <span style="font-style: italic;">Zagat </span>will own the copyright to said words, which is fine. However, until that comes to pass, <span style="font-style: italic;">Celebrity Cola </span>retains the right to publish all of the above content, so fear not, paranoid reader.)</span>Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1117084285753311792005-05-26T00:33:00.000-04:002005-05-26T01:20:16.510-04:00The Free Blogging FreewayThere have been murmurings for a while that the Google-owned Blogger/Blogspot company cannot continue operating for much longer without a profit model.<br /><br />The latest harbinger of blog-death is Injinuity over at <span style="font-weight: bold;">Unadulterated Arrogance</span>. In a short article entitled <a href="http://injinuity.blogspot.com/2005/05/why-blogger-shall-die.html">“Why blogger shall die,</a>” he says:<br /><br /><blockquote>I am neither Nostradamus nor am I a gypsy with a crystal ball, but this is what I foresee: A year down the line blogger.com will either cease to exist or metamorphose into a paid-only avatar, and both the outcomes . . . are bleak for the blogosphere.<br /><br />Granted, I am not renown for my powers of clairvoyance yet I still paint this picture of doom with certainty and I do this on account of my understanding of economics. At present I don’t see a valid revenue model when it comes to blogger.com. I don’t see any sources of income for a service of this magnitude . . . I am highly skeptical of this practice in the long run. . . . the inflow of funds is minimal or non existent.</blockquote><br />Injinuity and others like him are right: a company cannot exist on kindness alone. The disastrous profit plans proposed by 95% of the Website businesses introduced in the 1990s are what lead to the eventual collapse of the Internet boom times and the infamous stock-market bubble burst. But the Blogger/Blogspot service was once ad-supported, with Blogger Pro memberships allowing ad-free and enhanced usage. Google gobbled up Blogger, graciously removed all mandatory ads, made all services free (with no storage-size limitations), regrettably removed FTP access, and innovatively added slick new design templates. I don’t think they did this by mistake or for purely altruistic reasons. There is excogitation at work. A plan.<br /><br />I added Google ads to my site in a vain hope that if enough Blogger users use the Adwords service, Blogger might remain free. Otherwise, Google will at some point have to force ads onto the blogs. My fear is that they’ll put the ads at the top of the page, making the blogs look ugly (like so many other free website hosting spots). By placing the Google ads near the bottom-right of my pages, they’re not a big problem. Hopefully Google will allow users to continue controlling where the ads go if they do force ads back onto the sites. Allowing users to continue profit sharing if they’re Adword members would also be nice (not that I’ve ever gotten a single dime from the ads I’ve had running on my blog, mind you).<br /><br />At the same time, I could see Google bringing back Blogger Pro -- if they have income coming in from a pro service, they could afford to add some of the many blogging features that Blogger currently lacks (most of these features would only be available to Pro users, at least when they’re first rolled out, I presume, because otherwise there wouldn’t be as much incentive to turn pro). Blogger Pro might still be cheaper than the other Blogging services, but it would be ad free (assuming Google will eventually force ads onto the free Blogger), have a few extra features, and would allow FTP access (for greater HTML control) and/or a full export function so blogs could be properly backed up.<br /><br />Another option would be to introduce a super-low-cost alternative . . . . Google could start charging a very small fee (say, $10 a year or $20 for five years, etc.) to use Blogger; a million users paying Google $20 for their little blog on the web would, cumulatively, generate a lot of capital. A modest enough price would be hard to pass up, especially for people who already have a Blogspot up and running. Simultaneously, it would drive away a lot of these fake blogs that have hijacked Blogger (the link farms, auto-generated product-hyping blogs, scam blogs with a million links leading back to an overseas pharmacy scam, etc.). If the fee is extremely reasonable and Blogger promises to do away with the fake Blogs, it’d be a good deal for everyone (there are so many fake/commercial/ad/scam/spam blogs on Blogger right now that clicking on the Blogger’s “Next Blog” button has become practically useless).<br /><br />Also, Google’s purchases of Picasa, Hello, and Blogger and their invention of Gmail all seem strategic in nature -- each product alone is nothing to wet your pants about, perhaps, but taken together, coupled with Adwords and Google and Google News, you can see a well-crafted nexus forming. While companies like Yahoo crowd their homepages with a lot of useless junk and services that don’t belong together, Google is slowly gathering and inventing products that can both elegantly stand alone and work together to form a useful, powerful suite of tools. Expect <span style="font-style: italic;">much</span> more integration of all these products in the coming years, along with a powerful IM tool that might just tie it all together.<br /><br />And what if Google makes a move to allow an open-source browser/email combo like Firefox/Thunderbird to be <span style="font-style: italic;">fully</span> integrated with Blogger, Google, Gmail, et al? What if they didn't just allow it, but financed it? Then Microsoft’s Explorer/OutlookExpress/Hotmail combo would be seriously walloped. Example: What if ThunderBird could access Gmail without having to POP all the messages down, so the storage space stayed on the Google servers, but you’d have the full power of a designated email program to boot, and maybe you could also post from the program to your blog, etc.? Google already appears to be dancing around ideas of this nature.<br /><br />I think taking on the big, soulless corporate guys like Microsoft and Yahoo is a semi-open goal at Google. And Blogger is one piece of that puzzle. So don’t expect it to die, despite all the slowdowns, bugs, outages, old technology, and limitations currently plaguing the service. A service that, by the by, is extremely easy to use, making it the best service out there for beginners; is great for lazy people like me who don’t want to worry about fussing with programming, paying, and designing more than necessary; and is amazingly cost free and ad free and has beautiful, simple little templates (I managed to muck the template up on my own Blogspot, but hey, now it feels more like home).<br /><br />Google has done nicely with Blogger, despite the minor quibbles we may have. Quibble: the recent posts/total posts/total words info on my user profile page hasn’t updated in like 8 months. And occasionaly a bug erases half of my post while I'm in the middle of typing. A real downer. Oh well. I still love Google, Gmail, and Blogger. It’s not just a corporate slogan: They really have made the web a better place. Maybe they'll turn evil and super-corporate one day, but for now they're still the good guys in my book.<br /><br />***<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Related Post:</span> <a href="http://celebritycola.blogspot.com/2005/03/blogging-about-blogs-that-sometimes.html">Blogging About Blogs That Sometimes Blog About Blogs</a>.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8757443.post-1115622594854642082005-05-09T02:24:00.000-04:002005-05-26T01:14:00.843-04:00Death Threats and Flowers (or, How I Dialed Murder for Love)Am I being wildly ethnocentric, or is this a strange way of trying to seduce girls: “I kill your boyfriend for you, yes? And then we eat.”<br /><br />I’ve run across incidents like this before, but what reminds me of my own story is something I read recently at <a href="http://www.patreesha.com/" target="_blank">Patreesha.com</a>, where a happenin’ Asian-American college student reports her daily trials and tribulations. In an entry entitled, <a href="http://interalia.org/patreesha/archives/2005_04_01_archive.html#111328573708056190" target="_blank">“When Things Go Quickly From Bad to Worse,”</a> she tells the tale of a New York City cab ride gone weird:<br /><br /><blockquote>It's midnight on a Friday night, and I'm in a cab with a friend Harry going home from some terrible, ritzy club in Chelsea.... Harry got out of the cab before I did, leaving me alone and very visibly drunk with a young male Egyptian cab driver. Shortly after Harry exited and the cab door slammed behind him, I heard the small, throaty, mucus-filled sound of the driver clearing his throat: "AH-CHALAAHMM"<br /><br />It gave me a short, quick, nervous chill down my spine, similar to the effect of when Hispanic construction workers bellow chittering animal noises at me from the sidewalk (this happened Wednesday); or when wrinkly-faced, very obviously single old Chinese immigrant men (whilst eating dinner in the same restaurant in which they work as short-order chefs) start talking in a dialect that sounds like shattering glass (jing! jong! xiang!) while slyly pointing at me with their chopsticks as fried rice comes flying out from their gaping mouths (this happened today); or when old white guys with their remaining thinning hair shaped carefully into a mullet follow me down the street in their vans with their headlights off in the middle of the night (this happened last night); or when an old dirty Mexican man with acid-wash, elastic leg jeans and a matching denim elasticated cap grabs my ass going down the steps to the subway station and runs away cackling (this happened Friday). I digress, however -- The cab driver locked eyes with mine in the reflection in the rearview mirror and began to speak:<br /><br />"Hallo I am Mohammed. What is your name?"<br />"Trisha."<br />"Your boyfriend is very lucky man."<br />"Oh, that's not my boyfriend. He's just some stupid asshole."<br />"Oh really? Lady you are most beautiful woman in world. I see you when you get in cab with your friend and I say to myself, 'Wow. Wowie. She is beautiful woman in world. I am lucky to have her in cab even though some asshole greasy young man with her. I am lucky.' -- That is what I think to myself."<br />"Ha ha, thank you --"<br />"And I say to myself, 'For that kind of woman, wow, I would kill a boyfriend like that man for her. For you I mean. I would kill with my own hands because you so beautiful.'"<br />"-- Uuuuuhhhh..."<br />"Oh do not be afraid. That is not my way. I am kind man. Okay? You like Egyptian food? You call me anytime, I take break from work since I get off 5am, we get Egyptian food to eat, together. We will do that? Let me give you phone number."</blockquote><br />Patreesha’s story goes on in hilarious fashion, forcing me to recall when I was bartending part-time at a NYC restaurant a few years back. I was living with a waitress and a coat-check girl from the same restaurant, and they were both cute, cool chicks and thus were hit on a lot, but it was the Spanish (mostly Mexican) and Middle Eastern (mostly Bangladeshi) busboys and kitchen-staff guys who were really pushy about it. Actually, the Spanish guys were usually very copasetic, and would just drop the occasional perv comment or bad pick-up line that any guy might after being stuck changing in the co-ed dressing room with the hot waitresses and coat-check girls for the 100th time; the white waiters and kitchen guys were just as likely to attempt a game of grab-ass as anyone.<br /><br />Perhaps it was the more open chauvinism of the foreign fellows that was really notable, and not their flirtatious advances. (Two of the classy French waiters were the skeeviest of them all, but that’s another story; involving, I kid you not, talk of killing goats in the context of an orgy proposition.) But man, the Middle Eastern guys, especially some of the Bangladeshi guys, were the only ones who brought up murder on a regular basis.<br /><br />This was pre-9/11, mind you. Mid-2000. The strange thing was that I got along great with all these guys, but then my coat-check-girl roommate told them that I was her boyfriend, hoping to get them off her back, because they were always much worse with the single women. And my waitress roommate told them that a friend of mine was her boyfriend. The next thing the girls know, they're being told by a small group of the Bangladeshi guys that they're so beautiful they're worth killing for, and would they like to have their boyfriends killed? And if my friend and I ever treated the girls badly, the Bangladeshi guys told the waitress and coat check, they would kill us in seconds. And where did we all live, by the way?<br /><br />A few weeks later, while working, one of the Bangladeshi guys casually mentioned to me that he had "just happened to find your address. I know your neighborhood well. You live on the first floor with the girls? Would you like a biscuit from the kitchen?" And he stood there waiting for me to finish eating the biscuit ("Eat! Eat!") as I kept thinking "Is this poisoned?" But it was a good biscuit and we had a nice chat.<br /><br />The next day he brought the coat-check girl a flower and gave it to her while I wasn't around. He once again offered to kill me, but she said she didn't need me killed at the moment.... It was very odd. The sly seduction of the coat-check girl and the feeding me of biscuits routine went on for at least a few weeks, until the drama slowly tapered off.<br /><br />Now, I’ve met a lot of awesome Middle Eastern people and some hyper-cool Bangladeshis, so don’t get me wrong: this was an isolated incident involving a select few individuals. And at the time I took it as being mostly a joke, since I got along with the guys pretty well, although they were extremely, umm, intense gentlemen (the biscuits, flowers, and murder offering busboy who wouldn't give up on the coat-check girl was often referred to as "wild eyed," but he was also a chess champion and very kind, so go figure).<br /><br />However, when I hear stories like Patreesha’s, with the Egyptian cabdriver offering to kill her boyfriend (or at least the guy he thinks might be her boyfriend), forcing his phone number upon her, figuring out how to get her phone number without her permission, calling her numerous times, knowing where she lives (because he dropped her off at her apartment) ... the hairs on my disgustingly hirsute back stand on end. It’s crazy. Especially in this post-9/11 atmosphere where people are much more likely to take threats like this seriously, where a single complaint of this nature could cost a cabdriver his license, where tensions toward accented Middle Easterners are still on edge. What was the cabdriver thinking? What were the busboys thinking?<br /><br />Well, they were probably cerebrating the same flustered, overheated, hormonally charged thoughts all men think when confronted with an attractive female. But they really need to get the “I will kill your boyfriend” routine out of their systems and go straight to the “Do you like <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Middle+Eastern" rel="tag">Middle Eastern</a> food” bit. Yes, Middle Eastern food is delightful. Death threats? Not so much.Lucas Brachishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13288419894586092580noreply@blogger.com3